s/o this brutal admissions year

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Has it made anyone else reconsider how their teen is approaching high school and academics?

If busting your ass studying to get a 4.0 and > 1500 SAT isn't enough to get you into T30 (T50??) schools anymore, are you going to encourage your child to relax more, take it easy, and enjoy the social aspects of high school more? Still take it seriously but not AS seriously as maybe kids in the past did. Are you going to do what you can to take the pressure off, I guess I am asking.

I've been reading all the threads on here about disappointed kids and I get it. I remember what that was like but, twenty years ago, we were rewarded for that hard work by getting into top colleges. That seems to not be happening anymore. And from my experience in the workforce, I see that you can go to a lot of different schools and still end up in the same desirable place. I work with a guy who went to Harvard and a guy who went to a tiny no name school in upstate NY. They make the same money.

Just food for thought. Curious about what other high school parents think.

I have a child entering high school. I didn't think I would reconsider, but I am. DC has a choice between a high pressure program and other good, but less pressure onel. I always thought that if DC was admitted to the high pressure program that is where they would go. Now, it's not as clear. I know that DC is motivated and will work hard no matter what. I'm leaning towards taking the pressure off and will be OK if DC picks the program that some may consider not as good.

I too work with a Harvard grad. We have the same title/pay. I went to a state school.

I have the opposite thought. My kid was admitted to an elite high school. If he's going to end up at low-tier university regardless of how hard he works in high school I'd rather he at least go to a fantastic high school where he'll learn a ton and get a special/unique experience.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My kids have never understood that the purpose of hard work is to get into a T30 school. It's for their own edification and opportunities, regardless of where they go to college (or work, or whatever).

Agree!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:In terms of the elite schools like HPYSM, do they really have the best people? If they are taking mostly athletes, legacy, first gen and URM, are they really getting the TOP students?

Not meant to be a snarky question.

Also, those top students are going somewhere. Do you think there will emerge a middle of the road college that will eventually become elite as a result of getting these top students?

Sometimes, the best students also happen to be athletes, URM And first gen.

Look, these schools are very competitive, obviously, but the presumption that someone who fits one or more of these boxes are somehow lessor students than the white, upper middle class suburban achieve is just plain ignorant.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:In terms of the elite schools like HPYSM, do they really have the best people? If they are taking mostly athletes, legacy, first gen and URM, are they really getting the TOP students?

Not meant to be a snarky question.

Also, those top students are going somewhere. Do you think there will emerge a middle of the road college that will eventually become elite as a result of getting these top students?

No.

How do you know? Sometimes, hear me out, there can be one person who is both a top athlete, first generation AND URM. It is just asinine to see a response to this as "no" - it racism plain and simple to make such assumptions.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:In terms of the elite schools like HPYSM, do they really have the best people? If they are taking mostly athletes, legacy, first gen and URM, are they really getting the TOP students?

Not meant to be a snarky question.

Also, those top students are going somewhere. Do you think there will emerge a middle of the road college that will eventually become elite as a result of getting these top students?

No.

How do you know? Sometimes, hear me out, there can be one person who is both a top athlete, first generation AND URM. It is just asinine to see a response to this as "no" - it racism plain and simple to make such assumptions.

What's asinine is you thinking only 5 colleges currently have top students.

What you suggest won't "happen" because it already has, for many many years. Be happy about that. What you hope for already exists.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Has it made anyone else reconsider how their teen is approaching high school and academics?

If busting your ass studying to get a 4.0 and > 1500 SAT isn't enough to get you into T30 (T50??) schools anymore, are you going to encourage your child to relax more, take it easy, and enjoy the social aspects of high school more? Still take it seriously but not AS seriously as maybe kids in the past did. Are you going to do what you can to take the pressure off, I guess I am asking.

I've been reading all the threads on here about disappointed kids and I get it. I remember what that was like but, twenty years ago, we were rewarded for that hard work by getting into top colleges. That seems to not be happening anymore. And from my experience in the workforce, I see that you can go to a lot of different schools and still end up in the same desirable place. I work with a guy who went to Harvard and a guy who went to a tiny no name school in upstate NY. They make the same money.

Just food for thought. Curious about what other high school parents think.

I have a child entering high school. I didn't think I would reconsider, but I am. DC has a choice between a high pressure program and other good, but less pressure onel. I always thought that if DC was admitted to the high pressure program that is where they would go. Now, it's not as clear. I know that DC is motivated and will work hard no matter what. I'm leaning towards taking the pressure off and will be OK if DC picks the program that some may consider not as good.

I too work with a Harvard grad. We have the same title/pay. I went to a state school.

I have the opposite thought. My kid was admitted to an elite high school. If he's going to end up at low-tier university regardless of how hard he works in high school I'd rather he at least go to a fantastic high school where he'll learn a ton and get a special/unique experience.

I know both of these will be special and unique. One is high pressure with a focus on STEM. The other is amazing too, but not as well known and no STEM and not high pressure.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:In terms of the elite schools like HPYSM, do they really have the best people? If they are taking mostly athletes, legacy, first gen and URM, are they really getting the TOP students?

Not meant to be a snarky question.

Also, those top students are going somewhere. Do you think there will emerge a middle of the road college that will eventually become elite as a result of getting these top students?

No idea, but I think the opportunity for elite 'honors colleges" within some schools you might otherwise pass up, have been a thing and may become more so in the future.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:In terms of the elite schools like HPYSM, do they really have the best people? If they are taking mostly athletes, legacy, first gen and URM, are they really getting the TOP students?

Not meant to be a snarky question.

Also, those top students are going somewhere. Do you think there will emerge a middle of the road college that will eventually become elite as a result of getting these top students?

It’s not mutually exclusive. Just because you’re an athlete does not mean you’re not a great student. And especially just because you’re URM doesn’t mean you also don’t take the most challenging classes or get great grades. People who assume otherwise and just think you can get in on test scores and GPA alone don’t realize that there is more than colleges want. After awhile anybody can prep for high test scores. And GPA really just varies from school to school. Top colleges want kids who will be successful in life and just getting good grades does not guarantee anything.

Why kids with parents not going to colleges will be successful in life? What's the evidence? If you say this is to social engineer -- OK, at least you are telling the true. But how could first gen kids be more successful in life than those having good grades?

Because the kind of first gen kid that gets into HYPS etc. has already demonstrated that they can beat the odds by far. Those kids are probably in the top 0.00000001% of comparable demographic based on their achievements. Any non first gen kid who is in that range relative to their peers will also get into a top school, no problem.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:In terms of the elite schools like HPYSM, do they really have the best people? If they are taking mostly athletes, legacy, first gen and URM, are they really getting the TOP students?

Not meant to be a snarky question.

Also, those top students are going somewhere. Do you think there will emerge a middle of the road college that will eventually become elite as a result of getting these top students?

No idea, but I think the opportunity for elite 'honors colleges" within some schools you might otherwise pass up, have been a thing and may become more so in the future.

It's been a thing for quite sometime. Some parents are just now waking up to it because now they have kids in high school.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:In terms of the elite schools like HPYSM, do they really have the best people? If they are taking mostly athletes, legacy, first gen and URM, are they really getting the TOP students?

Not meant to be a snarky question.

Also, those top students are going somewhere. Do you think there will emerge a middle of the road college that will eventually become elite as a result of getting these top students?

It’s not mutually exclusive. Just because you’re an athlete does not mean you’re not a great student. And especially just because you’re URM doesn’t mean you also don’t take the most challenging classes or get great grades. People who assume otherwise and just think you can get in on test scores and GPA alone don’t realize that there is more than colleges want. After awhile anybody can prep for high test scores. And GPA really just varies from school to school. Top colleges want kids who will be successful in life and just getting good grades does not guarantee anything.

Why kids with parents not going to colleges will be successful in life? What's the evidence? If you say this is to social engineer -- OK, at least you are telling the true. But how could first gen kids be more successful in life than those having good grades?

Because the kind of first gen kid that gets into HYPS etc. has already demonstrated that they can beat the odds by far. Those kids are probably in the top 0.00000001% of comparable demographic based on their achievements. Any non first gen kid who is in that range relative to their peers will also get into a top school, no problem.

Thank you. I hadn’t thought of it this way.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:In terms of the elite schools like HPYSM, do they really have the best people? If they are taking mostly athletes, legacy, first gen and URM, are they really getting the TOP students?

Not meant to be a snarky question.

Also, those top students are going somewhere. Do you think there will emerge a middle of the road college that will eventually become elite as a result of getting these top students?

The HPYSM crowd, especially the stay-at-home-because-my-spouse-is-a-partner-at-a-law-firm-so-I'm-a-day-drinker crowd, will hunt you down and have you swingin'. Lock your doors.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:In terms of the elite schools like HPYSM, do they really have the best people? If they are taking mostly athletes, legacy, first gen and URM, are they really getting the TOP students?

Not meant to be a snarky question.

Also, those top students are going somewhere. Do you think there will emerge a middle of the road college that will eventually become elite as a result of getting these top students?

No.

How do you know? Sometimes, hear me out, there can be one person who is both a top athlete, first generation AND URM. It is just asinine to see a response to this as "no" - it racism plain and simple to make such assumptions.

Freedom of thought no longer exists in America, OP.

[Anonymous]

We are looking at this from a purely financial perspective. My kid is getting pushed to get the best GPA and test scores solely because we can't afford private colleges without a lot of merit aid, and there aren't a lot of public colleges in-state that my kid is interested in attending.

The pressure is much worse this year, and I feel really badly about it, but that's the way it is. My kid would be perfectly happy at a SLAC ranked 50-80, but we can't afford any SLAC because of the price tag.

DD has been doing a lot of test prep and feels very stressed about her grades. I am not happy with this situation, but I don't see any alternative. DD doesn't want to go to CC, but if she doesn't get into our in-state options, that's where she's going without a LOT of merit aid from private SLACS.

[Anonymous]

My kid was admitted to:

UCLA
Washington & Lee
UVA
William and Mary
Miami University
American University
Christopher Newport University

Rejected from:

UC Berkeley
NYU (today)

She is extremely bitter because I won’t co-sign six figures of parent plus loans to attend UCLA. You cannot convince me it’s $120,000 better than UVA or W&M. In fact, W&M is more highly rated for undergraduate teaching (#4 in country, tied with Princeton and behind Brown, Elon and Georgia Tech, of all places).

She hears from Duke tomorrow and Brown next week. I am anticipating rejections from both.

I have tried to explain to her that her success rate is incredible and a lot of kids with better stats aren’t even getting into some places she has. But it doesn’t matter. She is fixated on selectivity percentages rather than finding a school that will be the right fit. Says she will be “miserable” going to school in Virginia. I said misery is making payments on six figures of college debt for 20-25 years.

Serenity now. Or at least better drugs...

[Anonymous]

My kid went to a no-name SLAC and got into an elite, extremely competitive grad program. The idea that HYPSM have the "top" students is ludicrous. "Top" students are everywhere, even in CC.