s/o this brutal admissions year

[Anonymous]

Has it made anyone else reconsider how their teen is approaching high school and academics?

If busting your ass studying to get a 4.0 and > 1500 SAT isn't enough to get you into T30 (T50??) schools anymore, are you going to encourage your child to relax more, take it easy, and enjoy the social aspects of high school more? Still take it seriously but not AS seriously as maybe kids in the past did. Are you going to do what you can to take the pressure off, I guess I am asking.

I've been reading all the threads on here about disappointed kids and I get it. I remember what that was like but, twenty years ago, we were rewarded for that hard work by getting into top colleges. That seems to not be happening anymore. And from my experience in the workforce, I see that you can go to a lot of different schools and still end up in the same desirable place. I work with a guy who went to Harvard and a guy who went to a tiny no name school in upstate NY. They make the same money.

Just food for thought. Curious about what other high school parents think.

[Anonymous]

I think most students with the stats that you just outlined can still and in fact do get into great colleges and that all the drama you're seeing on this board is overblown.

[Anonymous]

Or reframing it, you need the good stats to get your app read, but it doesn't guarantee anything. My kid doesn't regret working hard even though they didn't get into the school they wanted. They wouldn't have been admitted to the school they did get into without those stats. That said, the goal is for kids to learn how to learn and to develop a work ethic, not just gun for a top college. I think we all may want to think about our messaging.

[Anonymous]

In terms of the elite schools like HPYSM, do they really have the best people? If they are taking mostly athletes, legacy, first gen and URM, are they really getting the TOP students?

Not meant to be a snarky question.

Also, those top students are going somewhere. Do you think there will emerge a middle of the road college that will eventually become elite as a result of getting these top students?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Has it made anyone else reconsider how their teen is approaching high school and academics?

If busting your ass studying to get a 4.0 and > 1500 SAT isn't enough to get you into T30 (T50??) schools anymore, are you going to encourage your child to relax more, take it easy, and enjoy the social aspects of high school more? Still take it seriously but not AS seriously as maybe kids in the past did. Are you going to do what you can to take the pressure off, I guess I am asking.

I've been reading all the threads on here about disappointed kids and I get it. I remember what that was like but, twenty years ago, we were rewarded for that hard work by getting into top colleges. That seems to not be happening anymore. And from my experience in the workforce, I see that you can go to a lot of different schools and still end up in the same desirable place. I work with a guy who went to Harvard and a guy who went to a tiny no name school in upstate NY. They make the same money.

Just food for thought. Curious about what other high school parents think.

So I have heard this argument from a parent (whose eldest is at Columbia right now) - that in retrospect, the daughter wishes she had enjoyed her HS life a bit more. With her other kids (one a 9th grader), she actually is happy the child isn't as driven academically as her oldest was and she thinks his path will be easier, but perhaps not less successful long term. He will not be looking at Ivies - she knows that, but thinks he will do well wherever he goes - a middle-of-the-pack kid who rises to the top with those peers. And she thinks he has more EQ/street smarts in life - he just is a people person, always the talker/leader of groups, while not a stellar students (B/B+ in 9th grade)....she thinks long term, this child actually will end up in a better place.

But it depends on what you think the role of academics are. For some kids, it's their entire identity. And for those kids, they should be aiming for the most challenging circumstances. For other kids, there are other attributes that are more important.

[Anonymous]

IQ is nothing without EQ

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:In terms of the elite schools like HPYSM, do they really have the best people? If they are taking mostly athletes, legacy, first gen and URM, are they really getting the TOP students?

Not meant to be a snarky question.

Also, those top students are going somewhere. Do you think there will emerge a middle of the road college that will eventually become elite as a result of getting these top students?

It’s not mutually exclusive. Just because you’re an athlete does not mean you’re not a great student. And especially just because you’re URM doesn’t mean you also don’t take the most challenging classes or get great grades. People who assume otherwise and just think you can get in on test scores and GPA alone don’t realize that there is more than colleges want. After awhile anybody can prep for high test scores. And GPA really just varies from school to school. Top colleges want kids who will be successful in life and just getting good grades does not guarantee anything.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:In terms of the elite schools like HPYSM, do they really have the best people? If they are taking mostly athletes, legacy, first gen and URM, are they really getting the TOP students?

Not meant to be a snarky question.

Also, those top students are going somewhere. Do you think there will emerge a middle of the road college that will eventually become elite as a result of getting these top students?

This is a great point and I have wondered about it too. If so many truly bright, hard working kids are going to big publics, less name brands, even regional universities.... what will we start thinking of as impressive? Will it be, as you said, more other schools, or will be stop thinking of college as a strong marker of brains and ability?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:In terms of the elite schools like HPYSM, do they really have the best people? If they are taking mostly athletes, legacy, first gen and URM, are they really getting the TOP students?

Not meant to be a snarky question.

Also, those top students are going somewhere. Do you think there will emerge a middle of the road college that will eventually become elite as a result of getting these top students?

Top students? That's somewhat subjective.

Top candidates? 100% and a thousand times yes.

You act like you know what is good for HYPSM and they don't.

[Anonymous]

OP I think it's a really good question.

I also do think that the hard work and achievement is a reward in itself that will be a huge benefit to the child, no matter what happens in their academic and professional life.

I'd still encourage my high schooler to work their butt off. But perhaps there is a shift in what we think the point of that hard work is. (Or maybe it's just me lol)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:IQ is nothing without EQ

You don't seem to have EQ either judging by your posting style.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:In terms of the elite schools like HPYSM, do they really have the best people? If they are taking mostly athletes, legacy, first gen and URM, are they really getting the TOP students?

Not meant to be a snarky question.

Also, those top students are going somewhere. Do you think there will emerge a middle of the road college that will eventually become elite as a result of getting these top students?

It’s not mutually exclusive. Just because you’re an athlete does not mean you’re not a great student. And especially just because you’re URM doesn’t mean you also don’t take the most challenging classes or get great grades. People who assume otherwise and just think you can get in on test scores and GPA alone don’t realize that there is more than colleges want. After awhile anybody can prep for high test scores. And GPA really just varies from school to school. Top colleges want kids who will be successful in life and just getting good grades does not guarantee anything.

No, but getting good or top grades at a competitive school pretty much guarantees that you're a driven, ambitious person. That is the formula for success in life - not the smarts. And for that matter, being a top athlete says essentially the same thing about a student.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:In terms of the elite schools like HPYSM, do they really have the best people? If they are taking mostly athletes, legacy, first gen and URM, are they really getting the TOP students?

Not meant to be a snarky question.

Also, those top students are going somewhere. Do you think there will emerge a middle of the road college that will eventually become elite as a result of getting these top students?

It’s not mutually exclusive. Just because you’re an athlete does not mean you’re not a great student. And especially just because you’re URM doesn’t mean you also don’t take the most challenging classes or get great grades. People who assume otherwise and just think you can get in on test scores and GPA alone don’t realize that there is more than colleges want. After awhile anybody can prep for high test scores. And GPA really just varies from school to school. Top colleges want kids who will be successful in life and just getting good grades does not guarantee anything.

No, but getting good or top grades at a competitive school pretty much guarantees that you're a driven, ambitious person. That is the formula for success in life - not the smarts. And for that matter, being a top athlete says essentially the same thing about a student.

Eh not really. Some of the wealthiest people I know are sales people. You don’t need academics for that, you need a dynamic personality.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:In terms of the elite schools like HPYSM, do they really have the best people? If they are taking mostly athletes, legacy, first gen and URM, are they really getting the TOP students?

Not meant to be a snarky question.

Also, those top students are going somewhere. Do you think there will emerge a middle of the road college that will eventually become elite as a result of getting these top students?

No.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:In terms of the elite schools like HPYSM, do they really have the best people? If they are taking mostly athletes, legacy, first gen and URM, are they really getting the TOP students?

Not meant to be a snarky question.

Also, those top students are going somewhere. Do you think there will emerge a middle of the road college that will eventually become elite as a result of getting these top students?

It’s not mutually exclusive. Just because you’re an athlete does not mean you’re not a great student. And especially just because you’re URM doesn’t mean you also don’t take the most challenging classes or get great grades. People who assume otherwise and just think you can get in on test scores and GPA alone don’t realize that there is more than colleges want. After awhile anybody can prep for high test scores. And GPA really just varies from school to school. Top colleges want kids who will be successful in life and just getting good grades does not guarantee anything.

+1