What's The Girl Equivalent Of A Nice Guy?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:By "Nice Guy," I assume we're talking about the guy who hovers around a woman, pretending to be her friend, then -- not actually being so nice -- gets pissed when the woman never wants to have sex with him?

Yes. "Nice guys" aren't nice. They feel entitled to things, and they scream about being nice, but it's about getting what they "deserve," not what they actually deserve.

"Deserve" has nothing to do with sexual attraction. The sooner everyone stops thinking that sexual attraction is some kind of morality play where good people who do the right things have sex and bad people are less sexually attractive, the better off we'll be. Sometimes attractive people want to have sex with bad people and don't want to have sex with good people, and that's just the way things go.

That’s not what PP was saying. “Nice guys” feel entitled to sex because they did something nice for a woman, and gets angry that the woman isn’t attracted to him.

PP here. Thanks; you are correct.

[Anonymous]

Definitely not an AP/OW.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think it's those girls that pretend to have interests because they think that guys will like them. Like girls who are like "oh, I love camping" (when they really hate it) or "I think playing video games for 14 hours on Saturday is cute!" (when they really think it's ridiculous" or "oh, my favorite food is steak!" (when really they like salads, or pasta or something).

Fits in the same category of trying to be something you're not to "catch" some kind of societally-objective "good mate" while completely missing what actually matters in a relationship like compatibility and mutual respect.

That's a Cool Girl - or a Faux Cool Girl. I don't know if she's the equivalent of the Nice Guy, though. I think the PP who described the Woman Who Has It All But Can't Find A God Man sounds more right. There's an anger and a bitterness underneath each of these - a resentfulness that people who are less than you (less nice, less "having it all") have managed to eke out a life with another person while you, who has so much to offer, has not. In both cases, I think the person feels entitled to a partner who is "better" than the people who actually do express interest in them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think it's those girls that pretend to have interests because they think that guys will like them. Like girls who are like "oh, I love camping" (when they really hate it) or "I think playing video games for 14 hours on Saturday is cute!" (when they really think it's ridiculous" or "oh, my favorite food is steak!" (when really they like salads, or pasta or something).

Fits in the same category of trying to be something you're not to "catch" some kind of societally-objective "good mate" while completely missing what actually matters in a relationship like compatibility and mutual respect.

That's a Cool Girl - or a Faux Cool Girl. I don't know if she's the equivalent of the Nice Guy, though. I think the PP who described the Woman Who Has It All But Can't Find A God Man sounds more right. There's an anger and a bitterness underneath each of these - a resentfulness that people who are less than you (less nice, less "having it all") have managed to eke out a life with another person while you, who has so much to offer, has not. In both cases, I think the person feels entitled to a partner who is "better" than the people who actually do express interest in them.

That nails it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:By "Nice Guy," I assume we're talking about the guy who hovers around a woman, pretending to be her friend, then -- not actually being so nice -- gets pissed when the woman never wants to have sex with him?

Yes. "Nice guys" aren't nice. They feel entitled to things, and they scream about being nice, but it's about getting what they "deserve," not what they actually deserve.

"Deserve" has nothing to do with sexual attraction. The sooner everyone stops thinking that sexual attraction is some kind of morality play where good people who do the right things have sex and bad people are less sexually attractive, the better off we'll be. Sometimes attractive people want to have sex with bad people and don't want to have sex with good people, and that's just the way things go.

That’s not what PP was saying. “Nice guys” feel entitled to sex because they did something nice for a woman, and gets angry that the woman isn’t attracted to him.

Partially - but part of the frustration is also that the woman is having sex with someone else who isn't deserving. Like, if she wasn't going out with anyone or was going out with a really top notch guy, there isn't as much sting.

...buddy

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What's The Girl Equivalent Of A Nice Guy?

girl from next door. I've always gotten the vibes that they are the 'good' girls.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:She doesn't cheat, lie or manipulate. She is well-mannered. She comes from a good, solid family.

She is a good, dependable friend. Funny and kind. She is not a back-stabber or a gossip.

She isn't full of drama. She doesn't take provocative selfies and narcissistically post ad museum on social media.

She is not slutting herself out on dating apps or stepping out behind her BFs or husband's back.

She's too smart to fall for your crap.

If that's how she describes herself then she goes home and rages about how GOOD she is but all those SLUTS who aren't HALF as kind and giving as she is are all getting married while she's still home alone and one day she'll show them - then she's more of an equivalent. It's someone who THINKS they are that good and that being so good means they are entitled to a certain kind of partner, then when that partner doesn't want them they become rageful about how the world isn't doling up what they deserve.

[Anonymous]

Men *say* they want sex, but then they *marry* prudes. That makes me so angry!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Good girl, I guess. As in, girls are always told to be one, but guys actually want pretty wild/slutty/bitchy girls as long as they're also hot?

Eh, I don't think so. With the "Nice Guy" there's a lot of self-pity and resentment that's missing from the "Good Girl" trope. The "Nice Guy" feels like he's owed something.

I think the equivalent to the "Nice Guy" is the "Can't Find a Good Man" woman: in-shape, good career/income, like to travel, good friendships....but "I can't find a 'good' man." Complains about the duds she meets, no guy ever measures up to her expectations.

For every "Nice Guy" there's a "Can't Find a 'Good' Man" woman. They despise each other and cancel each other out.

Agreed.

[Anonymous]

Great gal/girl

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:By "Nice Guy," I assume we're talking about the guy who hovers around a woman, pretending to be her friend, then -- not actually being so nice -- gets pissed when the woman never wants to have sex with him?

“Nice guys” don’t understand the distinction. Kind men do though.

+1 million

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:She doesn't cheat, lie or manipulate. She is well-mannered. She comes from a good, solid family.

She is a good, dependable friend. Funny and kind. She is not a back-stabber or a gossip.

She isn't full of drama. She doesn't take provocative selfies and narcissistically post ad museum on social media.

She is not slutting herself out on dating apps or stepping out behind her BFs or husband's back.

She's too smart to fall for your crap.

If that's how she describes herself then she goes home and rages about how GOOD she is but all those SLUTS who aren't HALF as kind and giving as she is are all getting married while she's still home alone and one day she'll show them - then she's more of an equivalent. It's someone who THINKS they are that good and that being so good means they are entitled to a certain kind of partner, then when that partner doesn't want them they become rageful about how the world isn't doling up what they deserve.

I thought you were talking about the kind your parents want you to marry which is what is described above. A “good girl”, girl next door.

Not a tramp.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:By "Nice Guy," I assume we're talking about the guy who hovers around a woman, pretending to be her friend, then -- not actually being so nice -- gets pissed when the woman never wants to have sex with him?

Yes. "Nice guys" aren't nice. They feel entitled to things, and they scream about being nice, but it's about getting what they "deserve," not what they actually deserve.

"Deserve" has nothing to do with sexual attraction. The sooner everyone stops thinking that sexual attraction is some kind of morality play where good people who do the right things have sex and bad people are less sexually attractive, the better off we'll be. Sometimes attractive people want to have sex with bad people and don't want to have sex with good people, and that's just the way things go.

That’s not what PP was saying. “Nice guys” feel entitled to sex because they did something nice for a woman, and gets angry that the woman isn’t attracted to him.

PP here. Thanks; you are correct.

Southern sorority princess / daddy’s girl / JAP / “Rules” girl / “looking for a guy who will honor me like the queen I am” (AA)

[Anonymous]

I know it’s hard for bitter hard women to contemplate, but there are hot, smart, athletic, great degree/career, nice girls that are hot in the sack and totally faithful and monogamous and they do actually land the prize in their 20s and get the desirable men of similar age. They don’t need to settle for somebody’s second bits or a divorced guy or a guy with baggage or some old dude that wants a younger woman. When you gave it all, you don’t need to settle.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I know it’s hard for bitter hard women to contemplate, but there are hot, smart, athletic, great degree/career, nice girls that are hot in the sack and totally faithful and monogamous and they do actually land the prize in their 20s and get the desirable men of similar age. They don’t need to settle for somebody’s second bits or a divorced guy or a guy with baggage or some old dude that wants a younger woman. When you gave it all, you don’t need to settle.

*have it all