Are you chubby or overweight and do you have problems finding dates?

[Anonymous]

I've always been overweight (around 200 lbs.) and have never had guys falling all over me (at least not the type I was interested in dating). I had been in 2 serious relationships prior to meeting my DH, though. Honestly, my DH is a total catch. He's handsome and he's a really, really good person. He's a thoughtful husband and parent and I feel incredibly lucky to have him. He also happens to be wealthy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is just a tiny sample size but every middle-aged, white, heterosexual female friend I know who wishes she were married but never met the right guy is overweight. Of course, a lot of people don’t want to get married but these wonderful women do.

I have been many different sizes and it’s sad but true that it was so much easier to find guys who were interested in me when I was smaller. It pisses me off how many, many people in lots of situations were nicer to me when I fit the standard of “thin.”

Those guys did you a favor. Do you really want to be stuck with the guy who will dump you when you get older, gain a little weight and have wrinkles?

I'd take a guy with weight any day who was a catch versus a really good looking man who wasn't so great on the inside.

[Anonymous]

I was thinking about Sarah Sanders Huckabee, she seems like she is the nicest person. Has a nice husband and she's not a size 6 for sure. A life
partner has to have a lot more than being thin and attractive. That's a dime a dozen.

[Anonymous]

It's not a dichotomy where overweight = great on the inside and in shape = shallow and ugly on the inside.

There are plenty of people with bitter, ugly personalities at all levels of weight and attractiveness.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:I HATE the word chubby

Me too. And I’m thin

But it's just a word? Why would you hate something you're not?

It sounds so demeaning. Reminds me of mean girls or an ultra critical mother

Develop a thick skin. The word chubby is a cuter version of fat.

DP. I prefer "fat." Chubby seems like it's trying to be cute but it's just a way of trying to not be insulting but is still kind of insulting, whereas fat is just a neutral descriptor (yes people use it as an insult but a lot of fat people own the word and it's not a big deal).

Also chubby works great for babies-chubby cheeks, chubby thighs, etc. So that makes it even worse for adult women.

I'm not offended, it's just cringey, like the word "moist."

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is just a tiny sample size but every middle-aged, white, heterosexual female friend I know who wishes she were married but never met the right guy is overweight. Of course, a lot of people don’t want to get married but these wonderful women do.

I have been many different sizes and it’s sad but true that it was so much easier to find guys who were interested in me when I was smaller. It pisses me off how many, many people in lots of situations were nicer to me when I fit the standard of “thin.”

Those guys did you a favor. Do you really want to be stuck with the guy who will dump you when you get older, gain a little weight and have wrinkles?

I'd take a guy with weight any day who was a catch versus a really good looking man who wasn't so great on the inside.

I see what you're saying, but some people change. My husband was attracted to me in part because I was small and probably wouldn't have pursued me at my current weight. But he is all around a great person and we have grown closer, so he is still attracted to me and appreciates me for much more than my body. He would never dump me for gaining weight and getting wrinkles.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I HATE the word chubby

Me too. And I’m thin

But it's just a word? Why would you hate something you're not?

It sounds so demeaning. Reminds me of mean girls or an ultra critical mother

Develop a thick skin. The word chubby is a cuter version of fat.

DP. I prefer "fat." Chubby seems like it's trying to be cute but it's just a way of trying to not be insulting but is still kind of insulting, whereas fat is just a neutral descriptor (yes people use it as an insult but a lot of fat people own the word and it's not a big deal).

Also chubby works great for babies-chubby cheeks, chubby thighs, etc. So that makes it even worse for adult women.

To me chubby people are a bit overweight. Fat people are very overweight....so chubby does not equal fat in my book. Two different things.

I'm not offended, it's just cringey, like the word "moist."

[Anonymous]

To me chubby people are a bit overweight. Fat people are very overweight....so chubby does not equal fat in my book. Two different things.

[Anonymous]

Nothing is less sexy than a hangry skinny person. Happy people are sexy people.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I was thinking about Sarah Sanders Huckabee, she seems like she is the nicest person. Has a nice husband and she's not a size 6 for sure. A life
partner has to have a lot more than being thin and attractive. That's a dime a dozen.

If your daddy is a governor you can also be overweight. Sad fact but it’s true. If your family is rich or powerful men will want to marry you regardless of what you look like.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:To me chubby people are a bit overweight. Fat people are very overweight....so chubby does not equal fat in my book. Two different things.

You just say "curvy," "a little big fat," "medium size," "average."

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:To me chubby people are a bit overweight. Fat people are very overweight....so chubby does not equal fat in my book. Two different things.

PP. I was responding to the "chubby is the cuter version of fat" comment. Just talking about the difference between the appropriateness of each word, not the meaning.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Or does your husband or other men still find you attractive?

My DH has always found me attractive. It is part of the reason I married him. Prior to him, I did not date. I am not super ugly but I am not attractive either at least in the way our society regards it. I have never been skinny.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I was thinking about Sarah Sanders Huckabee, she seems like she is the nicest person. Has a nice husband and she's not a size 6 for sure. A life
partner has to have a lot more than being thin and attractive. That's a dime a dozen.

What?!

[Anonymous]

I'm very overweight and I've never been single.