Am I Going to be Obscenely Old?

[Anonymous]

This gets shut down each time it's posted but you can't argue with medical facts. Mother nature does not care that more women now are pursuing careers.

The reality is that it's much more difficult to get pregnant at 35 than it is at 25. And it's nearly impossible after 40. Money and procedures can sometimes help, but there really are many women out there that waited too long and missed the boat.

Your body wants to have a baby between the ages of about 17 and 30. After that it's more difficult and riskier.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am 28 and a friend who is 29 recently told me I need to get married soon-ish or I'll "have" to have my first baby at 30 lmfao. First of all, I think the ship for having a baby at 30 has sailed unless I meet The One and get engaged and married AND pregnant within the next two years haha. Second of all, she said it like it was so tragic. I don't know anyone my age who has children; I figure most people here are at least 30 when they have their first.

I agree with you that this is true for DMV.
But don't give up. You can freeze your eggs now. It's better to have a back up plan than finding out later that your eggs are too old.

And don't listen to these moms on this board. 35 year olds calling themselves "young" while talking trash by calling others "old".

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am 28 and a friend who is 29 recently told me I need to get married soon-ish or I'll "have" to have my first baby at 30 lmfao. First of all, I think the ship for having a baby at 30 has sailed unless I meet The One and get engaged and married AND pregnant within the next two years haha. Second of all, she said it like it was so tragic. I don't know anyone my age who has children; I figure most people here are at least 30 when they have their first.

I agree with you that this is true for DMV.
But don't give up. You can freeze your eggs now. It's better to have a back up plan than finding out later that your eggs are too old.

And don't listen to these moms on this board. 35 year olds calling themselves "young" while talking trash by calling others "old".

I am not that worried. I think I will probably wind up in the same cohort as op, married in early 30s, kids not long after. Also the women in my family are apparently super-fertile, my grandmother had four kids after 40 and my mother claims she got pregnant with all three of us on the first try every time, so that's...tmi but comforting. I know family history is no guarantee but my ob/gyn said it's a good sign. If I am not married by 32ish, maybe I'll reconsider and freeze my eggs just to be on the safe side.

I was just trying to chime in and say to op, btdt, I have had people make comments to me but I don't think 34 is particularly old. Just normal.

[Anonymous]

I had kids at 36 and 38, considering a third at 40. I'm about average in my group and neighborhood.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This gets shut down each time it's posted but you can't argue with medical facts. Mother nature does not care that more women now are pursuing careers.

The reality is that it's much more difficult to get pregnant at 35 than it is at 25. And it's nearly impossible after 40. Money and procedures can sometimes help, but there really are many women out there that waited too long and missed the boat.

Your body wants to have a baby between the ages of about 17 and 30. After that it's more difficult and riskier.

Are you saying that women should be having babies at 17, 18, 19? They should forgo college and a solid career because biology hasn't caught up with our culture?

Biologically, I might have been able to have a kid at 17, 20, 25, but emotionally, mentally, financially, I was no where near ready. Would you be willing to pay a lot more taxes to support 17 yr olds having kids, making sure that they have access to daycare, or are you advocating that 17 yr olds should drop out of school to have babies because nature intended for a 17 yr old to have babies?

How about the daddies? What's their role in all this? Do you think a 17 yr old guy is ready to take on the responsibilities of being a dad just because biologically he is able to produce the sperm necessary to procreate?

FFS.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This gets shut down each time it's posted but you can't argue with medical facts. Mother nature does not care that more women now are pursuing careers.

The reality is that it's much more difficult to get pregnant at 35 than it is at 25. And it's nearly impossible after 40. Money and procedures can sometimes help, but there really are many women out there that waited too long and missed the boat.

Your body wants to have a baby between the ages of about 17 and 30. After that it's more difficult and riskier.

Incrementally. studies have shown that 90% of women trying to conceive between the ages of 35 and 39 will successfully conceive within 2 years. And the risks are elevated but still low - and for those who are concerned, extensive testing is available (NIPT, CVS/amnio).

[Anonymous]

No, but fertility rate starts to decline really fast.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This gets shut down each time it's posted but you can't argue with medical facts. Mother nature does not care that more women now are pursuing careers.

The reality is that it's much more difficult to get pregnant at 35 than it is at 25. And it's nearly impossible after 40. Money and procedures can sometimes help, but there really are many women out there that waited too long and missed the boat.

Your body wants to have a baby between the ages of about 17 and 30. After that it's more difficult and riskier.

17 seems low.
I will say 20-28 as uneducated guess.

[Anonymous]

Nope. My mom's group was 30-37 mostly for the FTMs. MAYBE a few were 28, but none younger.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:No, but fertility rate starts to decline really fast.

At 40, not 35.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Not in DC. I had my first at 36; most of my friends back home in Texas had 5-10 year olds at the time.

I had mine at 36 and 38. My sister, who lives in the south had hers at 20 and 22. Her oldest is in college and I have an 11 year old. I didn't start trying until 30 and had difficulty conceiving. My youngest took 1 month of trying, lol.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This gets shut down each time it's posted but you can't argue with medical facts. Mother nature does not care that more women now are pursuing careers.

The reality is that it's much more difficult to get pregnant at 35 than it is at 25. And it's nearly impossible after 40. Money and procedures can sometimes help, but there really are many women out there that waited too long and missed the boat.

Your body wants to have a baby between the ages of about 17 and 30. After that it's more difficult and riskier.

Are you saying that women should be having babies at 17, 18, 19? They should forgo college and a solid career because biology hasn't caught up with our culture?

Biologically, I might have been able to have a kid at 17, 20, 25, but emotionally, mentally, financially, I was no where near ready. Would you be willing to pay a lot more taxes to support 17 yr olds having kids, making sure that they have access to daycare, or are you advocating that 17 yr olds should drop out of school to have babies because nature intended for a 17 yr old to have babies?

How about the daddies? What's their role in all this? Do you think a 17 yr old guy is ready to take on the responsibilities of being a dad just because biologically he is able to produce the sperm necessary to procreate?

FFS.

The melodrama lol. She's saying biologically, we were made to have children in late teens/early 20s. She's not advocating for mass teen pregnancy.

[Anonymous]

Where do you live OP?

I'm in suburban maryland, had my twins in my mid-40's, and while I'm sure I'm usually the oldest mom in the group it isn't by a ton. I've been pleasantly surprised at not feeling like a dinosaur all the time.

And sometimes I'm hanging around w/ moms who are 20 years my junior, as you are. Often it really doesn't matter at all - we're all in the weeds of breastfeeding, or childcare woes, or pandemic school hell at the same time. It really level things out a lot!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This gets shut down each time it's posted but you can't argue with medical facts. Mother nature does not care that more women now are pursuing careers.

The reality is that it's much more difficult to get pregnant at 35 than it is at 25. And it's nearly impossible after 40. Money and procedures can sometimes help, but there really are many women out there that waited too long and missed the boat.

Your body wants to have a baby between the ages of about 17 and 30. After that it's more difficult and riskier.

Are you saying that women should be having babies at 17, 18, 19? They should forgo college and a solid career because biology hasn't caught up with our culture?

Biologically, I might have been able to have a kid at 17, 20, 25, but emotionally, mentally, financially, I was no where near ready. Would you be willing to pay a lot more taxes to support 17 yr olds having kids, making sure that they have access to daycare, or are you advocating that 17 yr olds should drop out of school to have babies because nature intended for a 17 yr old to have babies?

How about the daddies? What's their role in all this? Do you think a 17 yr old guy is ready to take on the responsibilities of being a dad just because biologically he is able to produce the sperm necessary to procreate?

FFS.

The melodrama lol. She's saying biologically, we were made to have children in late teens/early 20s. She's not advocating for mass teen pregnancy.

And op, fwiw, no, you will not be obscenely old. This person is saying the human body was made to get pregnant/give birth in your late teens/early 20s which is technically true, but not really great in practice and anyway there's a pretty high likelihood you should be able to get pg in your early to mid 30s.

[Anonymous]

Are you in a relationship now, OP? I think my biggest worry would be meeting, falling in love with, and then starting a family with a stranger within the next few years. I place a lot of value on old friendships and I knew my husband for several years before we dated/got married, and we had gone to school together so I knew his friends. I probably have a greater fear than most about this, but that would be my worry, not being too old to have a baby! Sorry to be a psycho and add more stress!