Uneven Inheritance

[Anonymous]

I have a similar situation; my sister is less well-off (by choice, more or less, a respectable choice but still) thus my parents feel they need to give her more.

We are 1/2 sisters. My father died early and my mother remarried. Althoguh the remaining relatives on my father's side never really knew her, they considered my mother one of their own so she, who is not genetically related and never knew them, inherited from them the same amount I did.

"Her" side of the family (her grandmother, etc. -- who knew me much longer as I am older and *I* had thought of as "My" grandmother until her death and will) gave her everything and literally nothing to me.

I don't care about the money. But it hurts.

[Anonymous]

A lot of this is because there are step parents and the grandpa wasn’t your grandpa.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Listening to rich people discuss how they’ll carve up mom & dads assets has always disgusted me. I’ve always considered one great advantage of being working class or poor is knowing you’ll never be subject to such mercenary conjecture nor need worry that your children will destroy each other over your assets after you’ve gone.

+1

[Anonymous]

So you are not the biological granddaughter of the grandfather even though you have known them for many years.

Your parents are splitting the inheritance equally. The grandparents are the ones who have given to their own biological family. Right or wrong that is their decision.

I wouldn't say anything, inheritance is not your money, it is someone else's money and they decide what to do with it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:So you are not the biological granddaughter of the grandfather even though you have known them for many years.

Your parents are splitting the inheritance equally. The grandparents are the ones who have given to their own biological family. Right or wrong that is their decision.

I wouldn't say anything, inheritance is not your money, it is someone else's money and they decide what to do with it.

100% this. Plus, don't count on the money. They could need it for healthcare or could every day expenses if they live until they are 100+. I know you are upset about the "inequality" but you can't control what they do with it and if you say anything you will look bratty.

[Anonymous]

I'm a little confused. Judging by your writing style, English is your second language. But it sounds like your grandparents have been in the U.S. long enough to own a house outright?

[Anonymous]

You mentioned he's getting grandmother's house. Is she your grandmother, too? Was the decision for him to get it hers or your parents?

[Anonymous]

So he will get the house and money earlier if presumably the grandparents die first, right?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have a similar situation; my sister is less well-off (by choice, more or less, a respectable choice but still) thus my parents feel they need to give her more.

We are 1/2 sisters. My father died early and my mother remarried. Althoguh the remaining relatives on my father's side never really knew her, they considered my mother one of their own so she, who is not genetically related and never knew them, inherited from them the same amount I did.

"Her" side of the family (her grandmother, etc. -- who knew me much longer as I am older and *I* had thought of as "My" grandmother until her death and will) gave her everything and literally nothing to me.

I don't care about the money. But it hurts.

These don't make sense together.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why is he getting your grandmother's house?

This.

Also, if you were born first and you have different fathers, then your brother's father is your stepfather?

I'm confused. But if that is the case, then your stepdad is being more than fair to leave you their estate 50/50.

[Anonymous]

OP needs to explain why her grandparents excluded her from their wills.

Unless those grandparents aren't hers, but only her (half) brothers', in which case she needs to explain why she thinks she's entitled to someone else's inheritance.

And also why she wouldn't just tell her parents to make sure they set aside enough money to pay for their care as they get older.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So you are not the biological granddaughter of the grandfather even though you have known them for many years.

Your parents are splitting the inheritance equally. The grandparents are the ones who have given to their own biological family. Right or wrong that is their decision.

I wouldn't say anything, inheritance is not your money, it is someone else's money and they decide what to do with it.

100% this. Plus, don't count on the money. They could need it for healthcare or could every day expenses if they live until they are 100+. I know you are upset about the "inequality" but you can't control what they do with it and if you say anything you will look bratty.

+2 It's not your money. Live like you won't get any, because you may not. Don't take care of your parents in anticipation of inheritance, do it because you want to and are able. If you're not able, ask them to spend their money on that. They should be spending their money on improving their quality of life.

And for the record, your parents are doing what I would do in the situation. They are splitting their money even between their kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP needs to explain why her grandparents excluded her from their wills.

Unless those grandparents aren't hers, but only her (half) brothers', in which case she needs to explain why she thinks she's entitled to someone else's inheritance.

And also why she wouldn't just tell her parents to make sure they set aside enough money to pay for their care as they get older.

Some cultures have a tradition of leaving major assets to the boys as girls presumably marry and become part of another family. Not saying this is OP’s case but it happens. My Asian grandparents left most of their money and property to their two sons. The three daughters divided a small share among themselves (all biological children).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Guess I’m just hurt because he’s careless and I look after my parents now

:’(

I would talk to first him and second them about this issue. Ask brother to step up and do more for parents. If he refuses, have an honest conversation with them about the assistance they need while aging. Perhaps they can use their assets while alive to get the help they need (I.e., paying for help, buying into a retirement community, etc).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Guess I’m just hurt because he’s careless and I look after my parents now

:’(

Then stop the caretaking. My parents let it slip they are leaving everything to my sibling and sibling is poa when they told me otherwise. I wished them the best and stopped helping.