Grinches in your family

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

If you don't complain, you deserve what you get, OP. Don't expect people to guess.

I make sure everyone knows what my expectations are: that everyone enjoy the break; that everyone help clean the house, decorate, express appreciation for the special food, help pick Christmas movies (not sappy or embarrassing ones because I hate those) and at least tolerate the Christmas music I put on (teens and Gregorian chants? I haven't given up!). I don't want or expect gifts, because I prefer buying my own, but DH gets me a little something.

Communication and assertiveness are essential to a happy life, OP. I suspect you're afraid to exert your parental and spousal authority, and they walk all over you all year. Kind of late to change that dynamic, but you should try.

Even if they don’t like it? Don’t care about it? Aren’t interested in eating it?

Chances are they are eating it. Even if the Christmas stolen isn’t their favorite they should always say thank you and show appreciation. Come on! Christmas is once a year! And really, they should’ve polite year round - but especially on Christmas!

This right here is why some people struggle with the holidays. You want an extra show of appreciation because of a certain day on the calendar? Perhaps I'm in perimenopause, struggling with PMDD, and have SAD. It's tough to show up every day, much less show enthusiasm for a piece of bread.

So menopause/SAD/PMDD means you can’t say “thank you” if someone makes you breakfast?

You want a simple "thank you"? Sure, I happily say thank you and show appreciation any tjme someone else in the house makes a meal. If you want me to pretend everything is holly and jolly and perfect, well, no. Get your xmas wet dreams somewhere else.

Nothing is perfect. But usually Christmas is a time of joy. If you cannot feel joy around the Holidays when everyone around you is joyful, then you have to ask yourself whether the issue might not come from within. In that case, you can't really fault the Holiday, can you?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m the Christmas Grinch in our family. I can’t stand the over-commercialization of the holiday. Christmas movies are saccharine and boring. Christmas music is stuck in the ‘50’s.

It took a while for my wife to accept that I don’t have any interest in Christmas. The kids at least seem to care about it, for now.

Then you're incredibly stupid. Don't buy so much. Pick other movies to watch (Die Hard is a Christmas movie). As for music, my favorite is Yule songs from the high Middle Ages!

Create your own darn Christmas traditions, NITWIT.

You seem like a pleasant, sane person.

Oh I am, usually. But your idiocy is just too much. Why write off what could be a wonderful time just because you don't have the tiny amount of initiative and creativity needed to tailor it to your own preferences?!?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I feel like I’m the only one in my immediate family that loves Christmas. I get the tree, decorate, cook seasonal foods, bake cookies and cakes, buy well thought out gifts, wrap them, play Christmas music, etc. I have older teens and a DH at home. No one does anything or even comments on the decorations or foods. I want to watch a Christmas movie with them but afraid to be mocked. Every year, I get presents where they evidently ran to CVS or the mall to buy the first thing they saw. I never say anything but pretend to be happy.

Why do you never say anything? Get over the fear of being mocked. You need to speak up. They may not be comfortable with it but you need to model this for your kids. People need to learn to address things. Your feelings matter and they aren't something silly.

+1. Excellent response.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I feel like I’m the only one in my immediate family that loves Christmas. I get the tree, decorate, cook seasonal foods, bake cookies and cakes, buy well thought out gifts, wrap them, play Christmas music, etc. I have older teens and a DH at home. No one does anything or even comments on the decorations or foods. I want to watch a Christmas movie with them but afraid to be mocked. Every year, I get presents where they evidently ran to CVS or the mall to buy the first thing they saw. I never say anything but pretend to be happy.

I love Christmas but not the way you celebrate it, so you'd probably call me a Grinch. If you walk into my house, you wouldn't see a single sign of the holidays. I'm allergic to pine, don't have the space (or desire for clutter) to store an artificial tree and decorations, not a fan of baking (but I will happily eat any cookies you bring me), and I hate, hate, HATE the tradition of buying full-grown adults crap they don't want or need, and receiving the same in return. My sister is an exuberant (and terrible) gift-giver, and I thought I'd trained her out of buying stuff for me. Nope. Just a few days ago, a package showed up on my doorstep containing a kitchen appliance I didn't ask for, didn't want, won't use, and have no space to keep. Oh well. She got a pleasant thank you, but I feel no obligation to buy something for her in return. Nor will I feel any guilt about regifting this item.

I love the holidays. I love listening to Christmas music (and there's a lot of good, modern stuff out there, not stuck in the 50s). I love walking around town and soaking in the lights. I love streaming Christmas episodes of favorite tv shows. I love the holiday spirit, and reflecting about the myths that got us here (the reason for the season) and the pagan solstice traditions that preceded it. But that's about it. No commercialism. No resentful feelings of obligation. No hinging my happiness on the outcome of a particular day.

Praise Santa! And Happy Festivus for the rest of us!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I feel like I’m the only one in my immediate family that loves Christmas. I get the tree, decorate, cook seasonal foods, bake cookies and cakes, buy well thought out gifts, wrap them, play Christmas music, etc. I have older teens and a DH at home. No one does anything or even comments on the decorations or foods. I want to watch a Christmas movie with them but afraid to be mocked. Every year, I get presents where they evidently ran to CVS or the mall to buy the first thing they saw. I never say anything but pretend to be happy.

Why do you never say anything? Get over the fear of being mocked. You need to speak up. They may not be comfortable with it but you need to model this for your kids. People need to learn to address things. Your feelings matter and they aren't something silly.

+1. Excellent response.

Yes, let's all share in your joy of fake stories and materialism and forced family time. HO HO HO! HAPPY HOLIDAYS!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

If you don't complain, you deserve what you get, OP. Don't expect people to guess.

I make sure everyone knows what my expectations are: that everyone enjoy the break; that everyone help clean the house, decorate, express appreciation for the special food, help pick Christmas movies (not sappy or embarrassing ones because I hate those) and at least tolerate the Christmas music I put on (teens and Gregorian chants? I haven't given up!). I don't want or expect gifts, because I prefer buying my own, but DH gets me a little something.

Communication and assertiveness are essential to a happy life, OP. I suspect you're afraid to exert your parental and spousal authority, and they walk all over you all year. Kind of late to change that dynamic, but you should try.

Even if they don’t like it? Don’t care about it? Aren’t interested in eating it?

Chances are they are eating it. Even if the Christmas stolen isn’t their favorite they should always say thank you and show appreciation. Come on! Christmas is once a year! And really, they should’ve polite year round - but especially on Christmas!

This right here is why some people struggle with the holidays. You want an extra show of appreciation because of a certain day on the calendar? Perhaps I'm in perimenopause, struggling with PMDD, and have SAD. It's tough to show up every day, much less show enthusiasm for a piece of bread.

So menopause/SAD/PMDD means you can’t say “thank you” if someone makes you breakfast?

You want a simple "thank you"? Sure, I happily say thank you and show appreciation any tjme someone else in the house makes a meal. If you want me to pretend everything is holly and jolly and perfect, well, no. Get your xmas wet dreams somewhere else.

Nothing is perfect. But usually Christmas is a time of joy. If you cannot feel joy around the Holidays when everyone around you is joyful, then you have to ask yourself whether the issue might not come from within. In that case, you can't really fault the Holiday, can you?

Why? I don't believe in Christ.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

If you don't complain, you deserve what you get, OP. Don't expect people to guess.

I make sure everyone knows what my expectations are: that everyone enjoy the break; that everyone help clean the house, decorate, express appreciation for the special food, help pick Christmas movies (not sappy or embarrassing ones because I hate those) and at least tolerate the Christmas music I put on (teens and Gregorian chants? I haven't given up!). I don't want or expect gifts, because I prefer buying my own, but DH gets me a little something.

Communication and assertiveness are essential to a happy life, OP. I suspect you're afraid to exert your parental and spousal authority, and they walk all over you all year. Kind of late to change that dynamic, but you should try.

Even if they don’t like it? Don’t care about it? Aren’t interested in eating it?

Chances are they are eating it. Even if the Christmas stolen isn’t their favorite they should always say thank you and show appreciation. Come on! Christmas is once a year! And really, they should’ve polite year round - but especially on Christmas!

This right here is why some people struggle with the holidays. You want an extra show of appreciation because of a certain day on the calendar? Perhaps I'm in perimenopause, struggling with PMDD, and have SAD. It's tough to show up every day, much less show enthusiasm for a piece of bread.

So menopause/SAD/PMDD means you can’t say “thank you” if someone makes you breakfast?

You want a simple "thank you"? Sure, I happily say thank you and show appreciation any tjme someone else in the house makes a meal. If you want me to pretend everything is holly and jolly and perfect, well, no. Get your xmas wet dreams somewhere else.

Nothing is perfect. But usually Christmas is a time of joy. If you cannot feel joy around the Holidays when everyone around you is joyful, then you have to ask yourself whether the issue might not come from within. In that case, you can't really fault the Holiday, can you?

Why? I don't believe in Christ.

And no, everyone around me is not joyful. This year I can't be around the people I love the most. Other years I have to pretend to be around my DH's family who doesn't seem particularly happy either.

[Anonymous]

Actually, no one around me has ever been joyful during "Christmas". My father was probably stressed at all the money being spent. My mother was probably anxious, because that's how she is. My siblings didn't like their gifts. No, there was no joy. Why do you need me to pretend to be joyful to fulfill your stupid expectations of a made-up holiday?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I feel like I’m the only one in my immediate family that loves Christmas. I get the tree, decorate, cook seasonal foods, bake cookies and cakes, buy well thought out gifts, wrap them, play Christmas music, etc. I have older teens and a DH at home. No one does anything or even comments on the decorations or foods. I want to watch a Christmas movie with them but afraid to be mocked. Every year, I get presents where they evidently ran to CVS or the mall to buy the first thing they saw. I never say anything but pretend to be happy.

Why do you never say anything? Get over the fear of being mocked. You need to speak up. They may not be comfortable with it but you need to model this for your kids. People need to learn to address things. Your feelings matter and they aren't something silly.

+1. Excellent response.

What is she supposed to say? You need to like christmas more and buy me better gifts? Yeah, that will fix things.

Not everyone loves "Christmas" and that is ok. Just let them be happy and enjoy time how ever they want. Maybe just say no gifts for adults. Your husband and kids obviously don't like buying for you and you probably don't need/want what they get.

[Anonymous]

Unless you are religious and value that aspect of the holiday- Christmas is just a giant consumerism sham. Do what you want to enjoy it, but I don't think that has to mean speading money on tacky decor, over eating sweets, and buying lots of junk no one wants or needs. People do it year after year because they are socially conditioned that this is what you are "supposed" to do. But it is a lie. Sort of like needing to take your kids to Disney.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m the Christmas Grinch in our family. I can’t stand the over-commercialization of the holiday. Christmas movies are saccharine and boring. Christmas music is stuck in the ‘50’s.

It took a while for my wife to accept that I don’t have any interest in Christmas. The kids at least seem to care about it, for now.

Then you're incredibly stupid. Don't buy so much. Pick other movies to watch (Die Hard is a Christmas movie). As for music, my favorite is Yule songs from the high Middle Ages!

Create your own darn Christmas traditions, NITWIT.

You seem like a pleasant, sane person.

Oh I am, usually. But your idiocy is just too much. Why write off what could be a wonderful time just because you don't have the tiny amount of initiative and creativity needed to tailor it to your own preferences?!?

You’re going nuts because someone doesn’t enjoy the same thing as you. Maybe try being less self-absorbed in the future, and you might have less stress.

Are there any other activities you enjoy that it enrages you when others don’t like them?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Actually, no one around me has ever been joyful during "Christmas". My father was probably stressed at all the money being spent. My mother was probably anxious, because that's how she is. My siblings didn't like their gifts. No, there was no joy. Why do you need me to pretend to be joyful to fulfill your stupid expectations of a made-up holiday?

Aren't all holidays made up?

[Anonymous]

Never apologize for your joy (unless of course, it's harmful to others, lol). You're describing simple, harmless pleasures and screw anyone who ridicules or dismisses you for enjoying them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I feel like I’m the only one in my immediate family that loves Christmas. I get the tree, decorate, cook seasonal foods, bake cookies and cakes, buy well thought out gifts, wrap them, play Christmas music, etc. I have older teens and a DH at home. No one does anything or even comments on the decorations or foods. I want to watch a Christmas movie with them but afraid to be mocked. Every year, I get presents where they evidently ran to CVS or the mall to buy the first thing they saw. I never say anything but pretend to be happy.

I love Christmas but not the way you celebrate it, so you'd probably call me a Grinch. If you walk into my house, you wouldn't see a single sign of the holidays. I'm allergic to pine, don't have the space (or desire for clutter) to store an artificial tree and decorations, not a fan of baking (but I will happily eat any cookies you bring me), and I hate, hate, HATE the tradition of buying full-grown adults crap they don't want or need, and receiving the same in return. My sister is an exuberant (and terrible) gift-giver, and I thought I'd trained her out of buying stuff for me. Nope. Just a few days ago, a package showed up on my doorstep containing a kitchen appliance I didn't ask for, didn't want, won't use, and have no space to keep. Oh well. She got a pleasant thank you, but I feel no obligation to buy something for her in return. Nor will I feel any guilt about regifting this item.

I love the holidays. I love listening to Christmas music (and there's a lot of good, modern stuff out there, not stuck in the 50s). I love walking around town and soaking in the lights. I love streaming Christmas episodes of favorite tv shows. I love the holiday spirit, and reflecting about the myths that got us here (the reason for the season) and the pagan solstice traditions that preceded it. But that's about it. No commercialism. No resentful feelings of obligation. No hinging my happiness on the outcome of a particular day.

Praise Santa! And Happy Festivus for the rest of us!

So, you love Christmas, in part, because you enjoy other people's baking and lights? You don't enjoy your sister's gifting, but you happily regift what she sends.

If everyone did that it wouldn't work.

The musicians create new modern music for your enjoyment.

It may not be commercial, but that sounds like a lot of consumption without giving, or creating, to me.

[Anonymous]

I miss my Grandmother. She made these incredible meals, fudge, divinity, Russian tea cakes, sugar cookies, etc.

On the other hand, I, am working tomorrow and maybe even on Christmas thanks to a new employee not working out. I'd love to be baking and decorating but like others have zero energy for it. I'm thankful for my children that decorate and bring cheer to our home.