Grinches in your family

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, I wish I didn't feel like a grinch during the holidays, but it only brings up old memories of being poor, never feeling like we had nice holidays, and not having enough love in the house as a child.

Do you have kids? Why not change it?

What you described is exactly what my experience was like. I felt constantly stressed around Christmas as a kid and those negative feelings carried over into adulthood. All of that changed when my kids were born. It’s fun to delight little kids about Christmas and their excitement made me feel excited! And happy. Now I do it all. I bake cookies, cakes, make crafts, decorate. We go see lights, we watch Christmas movies, it’s awesome!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, I wish I didn't feel like a grinch during the holidays, but it only brings up old memories of being poor, never feeling like we had nice holidays, and not having enough love in the house as a child.

Do you have kids? Why not change it?

What you described is exactly what my experience was like. I felt constantly stressed around Christmas as a kid and those negative feelings carried over into adulthood. All of that changed when my kids were born. It’s fun to delight little kids about Christmas and their excitement made me feel excited! And happy. Now I do it all. I bake cookies, cakes, make crafts, decorate. We go see lights, we watch Christmas movies, it’s awesome!

Circle back to the OP and see why that is not the solution.

[Anonymous]

OP -- too bad we can't switch places. My 13 year old DD is super into Christmas and I am the Grinch. It's just so much work and at a time of year when my job is super busy too.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

If you don't complain, you deserve what you get, OP. Don't expect people to guess.

I make sure everyone knows what my expectations are: that everyone enjoy the break; that everyone help clean the house, decorate, express appreciation for the special food, help pick Christmas movies (not sappy or embarrassing ones because I hate those) and at least tolerate the Christmas music I put on (teens and Gregorian chants? I haven't given up!). I don't want or expect gifts, because I prefer buying my own, but DH gets me a little something.

Communication and assertiveness are essential to a happy life, OP. I suspect you're afraid to exert your parental and spousal authority, and they walk all over you all year. Kind of late to change that dynamic, but you should try.

Even if they don’t like it? Don’t care about it? Aren’t interested in eating it?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

If you don't complain, you deserve what you get, OP. Don't expect people to guess.

I make sure everyone knows what my expectations are: that everyone enjoy the break; that everyone help clean the house, decorate, express appreciation for the special food, help pick Christmas movies (not sappy or embarrassing ones because I hate those) and at least tolerate the Christmas music I put on (teens and Gregorian chants? I haven't given up!). I don't want or expect gifts, because I prefer buying my own, but DH gets me a little something.

Communication and assertiveness are essential to a happy life, OP. I suspect you're afraid to exert your parental and spousal authority, and they walk all over you all year. Kind of late to change that dynamic, but you should try.

Even if they don’t like it? Don’t care about it? Aren’t interested in eating it?

Chances are they are eating it. Even if the Christmas stolen isn’t their favorite they should always say thank you and show appreciation. Come on! Christmas is once a year! And really, they should’ve polite year round - but especially on Christmas!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

If you don't complain, you deserve what you get, OP. Don't expect people to guess.

I make sure everyone knows what my expectations are: that everyone enjoy the break; that everyone help clean the house, decorate, express appreciation for the special food, help pick Christmas movies (not sappy or embarrassing ones because I hate those) and at least tolerate the Christmas music I put on (teens and Gregorian chants? I haven't given up!). I don't want or expect gifts, because I prefer buying my own, but DH gets me a little something.

Communication and assertiveness are essential to a happy life, OP. I suspect you're afraid to exert your parental and spousal authority, and they walk all over you all year. Kind of late to change that dynamic, but you should try.

Even if they don’t like it? Don’t care about it? Aren’t interested in eating it?

Chances are they are eating it. Even if the Christmas stolen isn’t their favorite they should always say thank you and show appreciation. Come on! Christmas is once a year! And really, they should’ve polite year round - but especially on Christmas!

This right here is why some people struggle with the holidays. You want an extra show of appreciation because of a certain day on the calendar? Perhaps I'm in perimenopause, struggling with PMDD, and have SAD. It's tough to show up every day, much less show enthusiasm for a piece of bread.

[Anonymous]

I’m the Christmas Grinch in our family. I can’t stand the over-commercialization of the holiday. Christmas movies are saccharine and boring. Christmas music is stuck in the ‘50’s.

It took a while for my wife to accept that I don’t have any interest in Christmas. The kids at least seem to care about it, for now.

[Anonymous]

Just because it is "Christmas" doesn't mean your bills aren't due, there's no work stress, and you can't get fired. Christmas is right around when corporations do their laying off. So go ahead and waste your money on string lights and ornaments, your family may not be able to pay the bills next month. Merry, merry!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, I wish I didn't feel like a grinch during the holidays, but it only brings up old memories of being poor, never feeling like we had nice holidays, and not having enough love in the house as a child.

You need therapy. I grew up in a home that tragic memoirs are made if. I ended up aging out of the foster system and experiencedunspeakable abuses out of people who were supposed to be helpers. . It's didn't turn me into a grinch. It actually made me build my family in the exact opposite way. A house full of traditions and happgrind. I'm married 20 years and love Christmas.

Get help, especially if you have kids. You are still carrying around a ton of baggage

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

If you don't complain, you deserve what you get, OP. Don't expect people to guess.

I make sure everyone knows what my expectations are: that everyone enjoy the break; that everyone help clean the house, decorate, express appreciation for the special food, help pick Christmas movies (not sappy or embarrassing ones because I hate those) and at least tolerate the Christmas music I put on (teens and Gregorian chants? I haven't given up!). I don't want or expect gifts, because I prefer buying my own, but DH gets me a little something.

Communication and assertiveness are essential to a happy life, OP. I suspect you're afraid to exert your parental and spousal authority, and they walk all over you all year. Kind of late to change that dynamic, but you should try.

Even if they don’t like it? Don’t care about it? Aren’t interested in eating it?

Chances are they are eating it. Even if the Christmas stolen isn’t their favorite they should always say thank you and show appreciation. Come on! Christmas is once a year! And really, they should’ve polite year round - but especially on Christmas!

This right here is why some people struggle with the holidays. You want an extra show of appreciation because of a certain day on the calendar? Perhaps I'm in perimenopause, struggling with PMDD, and have SAD. It's tough to show up every day, much less show enthusiasm for a piece of bread.

So menopause/SAD/PMDD means you can’t say “thank you” if someone makes you breakfast?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

If you don't complain, you deserve what you get, OP. Don't expect people to guess.

I make sure everyone knows what my expectations are: that everyone enjoy the break; that everyone help clean the house, decorate, express appreciation for the special food, help pick Christmas movies (not sappy or embarrassing ones because I hate those) and at least tolerate the Christmas music I put on (teens and Gregorian chants? I haven't given up!). I don't want or expect gifts, because I prefer buying my own, but DH gets me a little something.

Communication and assertiveness are essential to a happy life, OP. I suspect you're afraid to exert your parental and spousal authority, and they walk all over you all year. Kind of late to change that dynamic, but you should try.

Even if they don’t like it? Don’t care about it? Aren’t interested in eating it?

They like everything apart from the gingerbread, but even for that they like to see the creations I come up with as long as they don't have to eat it (this year, Nativity scene). Food is always appreciated in my house because I consult everyone and come up with a meal we can all eat. They hate all green vegetables apart from broccoli, so Broccoli is now a Christmas Vegetable. This way I get all the delicious green beans for myself. They love my traditional beef Wellington, because DD eats mostly crust and DS eats mostly meat. And so on...

It's all give and take. You consult them, they must show appreciation in return.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’m the Christmas Grinch in our family. I can’t stand the over-commercialization of the holiday. Christmas movies are saccharine and boring. Christmas music is stuck in the ‘50’s.

It took a while for my wife to accept that I don’t have any interest in Christmas. The kids at least seem to care about it, for now.

Then you're incredibly stupid. Don't buy so much. Pick other movies to watch (Die Hard is a Christmas movie). As for music, my favorite is Yule songs from the high Middle Ages!

Create your own darn Christmas traditions, NITWIT.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

If you don't complain, you deserve what you get, OP. Don't expect people to guess.

I make sure everyone knows what my expectations are: that everyone enjoy the break; that everyone help clean the house, decorate, express appreciation for the special food, help pick Christmas movies (not sappy or embarrassing ones because I hate those) and at least tolerate the Christmas music I put on (teens and Gregorian chants? I haven't given up!). I don't want or expect gifts, because I prefer buying my own, but DH gets me a little something.

Communication and assertiveness are essential to a happy life, OP. I suspect you're afraid to exert your parental and spousal authority, and they walk all over you all year. Kind of late to change that dynamic, but you should try.

Even if they don’t like it? Don’t care about it? Aren’t interested in eating it?

Chances are they are eating it. Even if the Christmas stolen isn’t their favorite they should always say thank you and show appreciation. Come on! Christmas is once a year! And really, they should’ve polite year round - but especially on Christmas!

This right here is why some people struggle with the holidays. You want an extra show of appreciation because of a certain day on the calendar? Perhaps I'm in perimenopause, struggling with PMDD, and have SAD. It's tough to show up every day, much less show enthusiasm for a piece of bread.

So menopause/SAD/PMDD means you can’t say “thank you” if someone makes you breakfast?

You want a simple "thank you"? Sure, I happily say thank you and show appreciation any tjme someone else in the house makes a meal. If you want me to pretend everything is holly and jolly and perfect, well, no. Get your xmas wet dreams somewhere else.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m the Christmas Grinch in our family. I can’t stand the over-commercialization of the holiday. Christmas movies are saccharine and boring. Christmas music is stuck in the ‘50’s.

It took a while for my wife to accept that I don’t have any interest in Christmas. The kids at least seem to care about it, for now.

Then you're incredibly stupid. Don't buy so much. Pick other movies to watch (Die Hard is a Christmas movie). As for music, my favorite is Yule songs from the high Middle Ages!

Create your own darn Christmas traditions, NITWIT.

You seem like a pleasant, sane person.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, I wish I didn't feel like a grinch during the holidays, but it only brings up old memories of being poor, never feeling like we had nice holidays, and not having enough love in the house as a child.

You need therapy. I grew up in a home that tragic memoirs are made if. I ended up aging out of the foster system and experiencedunspeakable abuses out of people who were supposed to be helpers. . It's didn't turn me into a grinch. It actually made me build my family in the exact opposite way. A house full of traditions and happgrind. I'm married 20 years and love Christmas.

Get help, especially if you have kids. You are still carrying around a ton of baggage

I am "getting help." But the results of that help do not revolve around your christian calendar, thank you.