Grinches in your family

[Anonymous]

I feel like I’m the only one in my immediate family that loves Christmas. I get the tree, decorate, cook seasonal foods, bake cookies and cakes, buy well thought out gifts, wrap them, play Christmas music, etc. I have older teens and a DH at home. No one does anything or even comments on the decorations or foods. I want to watch a Christmas movie with them but afraid to be mocked. Every year, I get presents where they evidently ran to CVS or the mall to buy the first thing they saw. I never say anything but pretend to be happy.

[Anonymous]

OP, I wish I didn't feel like a grinch during the holidays, but it only brings up old memories of being poor, never feeling like we had nice holidays, and not having enough love in the house as a child.

[Anonymous]

Honestly OP, you can't force Christmas spirit. I would just lower your expectations of what family members will do and only do the cooking, baking, decorating etc. that YOU want to do and enjoy!

[Anonymous]

I'm sorry for your disappointment around this, OP.

I agree with the poster above: you have to focus on what YOU enjoy and take pleasure from that.

[Anonymous]

OP, at least get a laugh out of this!

https://www.today.com/popculture/snl-nails-experience-gift-deprived-moms-christmas-t204343

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I feel like I’m the only one in my immediate family that loves Christmas. I get the tree, decorate, cook seasonal foods, bake cookies and cakes, buy well thought out gifts, wrap them, play Christmas music, etc. I have older teens and a DH at home. No one does anything or even comments on the decorations or foods. I want to watch a Christmas movie with them but afraid to be mocked. Every year, I get presents where they evidently ran to CVS or the mall to buy the first thing they saw. I never say anything but pretend to be happy.

Why do you never say anything? Get over the fear of being mocked. You need to speak up. They may not be comfortable with it but you need to model this for your kids. People need to learn to address things. Your feelings matter and they aren't something silly.

[Anonymous]

Do you insult or judge people who don't like...

Figure skating?
"Game of Thrones"
McDonald's breakfast
Canasta

...with the exact caliber of enjoyment that you do, on your time table?

So they don't like the same stuff you do in the same way. Maybe it is your Disappointed Mommy attitude or forced-fun-meet-my-expectation approach that has soured them on the whole thing.

You do what you want. They don't have to be into it. Invite them but don't do anything you don't honestly just want to do for yourself.

[Anonymous]

Your feelings matter op. You matter. Speak up and ask for some help.

[Anonymous]

Tell them you won't "make" them have the christmas spirit, but the only two things you ask of them are (1) watch one christmas movie with you and (2) buy or make you some thoughtful gifts.

I would assume dh would have to help the kids and it sounds like he is not on board, so you may have to hep the kids buy you gifts. At least it will teach them how to give to others.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I feel like I’m the only one in my immediate family that loves Christmas. I get the tree, decorate, cook seasonal foods, bake cookies and cakes, buy well thought out gifts, wrap them, play Christmas music, etc. I have older teens and a DH at home. No one does anything or even comments on the decorations or foods. I want to watch a Christmas movie with them but afraid to be mocked. Every year, I get presents where they evidently ran to CVS or the mall to buy the first thing they saw. I never say anything but pretend to be happy.

I hear you OP on the Christmas movies. I feel like I have to watch them in secret!

This year, my son has caught on to how bad my husband is at buying me gifts, so he is making jokes about what I am getting (like wrapping up a pair of socks I already own). At least it adds some holiday fun.

[Anonymous]

I watched a holiday movie by myself today. I really wouldn’t try to make them watch one with you. They would be so painful for anyone who didn’t want to watch one. Most of them are pretty meh.

[Anonymous]

Do Christmas for yourself. Do the things that will make you happy. Go watch whatever movie you want. If a member of your family makes fun of you tell them "I am doing something that makes me happy - at least I'm not being cruel to members of my own family. Leave the room right now if you can't be kind."

[Anonymous]

I'm the grinch in my family.

I'm exhausted and I have no spare time, money or emotional bandwidth to do a lot of decorating, cooking and shopping for thoughtful, unique gifts.

[Anonymous]

OP - your family isn't your only outlet. Shouldn't be. What about friends? Your parents and siblings. An elder. A neighbor. Surely you can find joy with other like-minded people, or doin gfor others. Make the most-special effort for those whom you believe appreciate it. Not out of a sour attitude, but because it will do the most good!

[Anonymous]

If you don't complain, you deserve what you get, OP. Don't expect people to guess.

I make sure everyone knows what my expectations are: that everyone enjoy the break; that everyone help clean the house, decorate, express appreciation for the special food, help pick Christmas movies (not sappy or embarrassing ones because I hate those) and at least tolerate the Christmas music I put on (teens and Gregorian chants? I haven't given up!). I don't want or expect gifts, because I prefer buying my own, but DH gets me a little something.

Communication and assertiveness are essential to a happy life, OP. I suspect you're afraid to exert your parental and spousal authority, and they walk all over you all year. Kind of late to change that dynamic, but you should try.