Women dating in their late 40s and 50s:Standards for a NSA.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’m 52 and I may be giving myself away here but in my profile I say I’m not looking for a LTR but that with the right person I know that lightning can strike. What I have found is that many women feel the same way and are open to seeing what happens. I have had one LTR over the last 7 years but the others were great NSA Relationships that lasted 3-6 months or until the DTR came up. A couple of them continue to be good friends which has been great.

What does DTR mean?

[Anonymous]

Don’t date anyone who works for the NSA. Been there, done that. He was a professional stalker.

[Anonymous]

So I think there are 32 responses to this thread now and maybe one person has actually answered the OP’s question. The question was (to paraphrase) “What do you look for in a partner for a No Strings Attached (aka fwb) relationship?”.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I fit your standards, OP, but date 20s.

LOL, sure you do.

In DC it's very easy if you have a career and stay in shape.

40-something men with successful careers who spend a lot of time working out and are having regular mind-blowing sex with 20-somethings are not sitting around posting about it on DCUM.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The hot guys you are describing are dating a 20 or 30 something young women . You are gonna have to deal with dad bod, balding and short on cash because of child support payments

Here we ago with the balding insult. Yes, it's me, the balding guy who always criticizes these comments. I don't have a dad bod and I'm not short on cash. Obectively, I'm funny and a good conversationalist. So why is balding always used as a personal slur? It's hereditary. If anything, shows I have plenty of testosterone.

This is a you issue. There are plenty of bald boo'd up men out there so clearly it isn't that much of a barrier to dating.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:So I think there are 32 responses to this thread now and maybe one person has actually answered the OP’s question. The question was (to paraphrase) “What do you look for in a partner for a No Strings Attached (aka fwb) relationship?”.

Why does OP care? Is she going to change her criteria for either of those situations after random people she doesn't know itemize their list?

[Anonymous]

I'm 45, fit, attractive and a high earner. Woman.

I will not remarry. I have been dating for nearly three years. My focus is on raising my three kids, and that will remain my focus for another 8 years, till my youngest graduates and I retire at 53.

Till then, I am interested in two types of relationships:

Strictly sex. I have had one partner like this. He was incredibly well endowed, a few years younger, and into some kink. He was an extreme introvert, so we wouldnt work as a couple, but the twice a week sex in his "playroom" was amazing. What made it amazing? BEing honest up front about the relationship, always safe sex, and good communication. He was an amazing lover and it was a wonderful time.

Dating, no kids: THis is more of what others might call a FWB relationship. I like to go out to shows, dinners, weekends away, and great sex. I have dated one man like this. Sleepovers, weekend trips, etc. This person still did not meet my kids and I dont talk about a future together.

I've probably gone on 75? first dates? There is NO shortage of available men. I have dated from 27-55

[Anonymous]

For NSA, I am looking for attraction, discretion, and availability.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I dated online for over 15 years and one thing I learned was to lie and say that I was looking for a long-term relationship. My chances with women increased greatly when I lied. When I list myself is looking for something casual I didn't do nearly as well. Just beware of what people say.

Ha! And 99% of women lie and say they aren’t looking for a LTR—-“just some fun and see what happens”. My ex-spouses AP insisted and agreed it would be a NSA, just some fun. She was married too and not looking to leave her marriage. Well—became bunny boiler pretty quickly. Pressure, pressure. Pretty ugly implosion.

A lot of women in their 20s/30s say they aren’t looking for marriage when they are on the hunt for a husband.

So, yeah, women play that game too—-telling men what they want to hear when it is untrue.

[Anonymous]

I’m 47 and I’ve been in a NSA for almost two years. We both have teens at home and we have no desire to combine families. We are both financially independent, smart, attractive and we enjoy adult companionship. My only “ask” was sexual exclusivity and his only “ask” was sex be not just once a month. That was an easy yes on my part as my libido is pretty high. The sex is fantastic but I also like that he is very well read and he is a great conversationist. We have met each other’s children but we keep everything far enough apart to maintain our distance. He does have LTR potential but until we’re empty nesters that’s a bridge I don’t want to cross.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’m 47 and I’ve been in a NSA for almost two years. We both have teens at home and we have no desire to combine families. We are both financially independent, smart, attractive and we enjoy adult companionship. My only “ask” was sexual exclusivity and his only “ask” was sex be not just once a month. That was an easy yes on my part as my libido is pretty high. The sex is fantastic but I also like that he is very well read and he is a great conversationist. We have met each other’s children but we keep everything far enough apart to maintain our distance. He does have LTR potential but until we’re empty nesters that’s a bridge I don’t want to cross.

Hmm. I am 45 divorced mom of two. I’ve been in a relationship with a divorced dad for about 3yrs. We also have no desire to combine families but we see each other about 3-5/week. Our kids have definitely met and I’ll do things with his and he will do stuff with mine and about once a week, we all eat together. How is that different than what you have? I wouldn’t define an exclusive relationship as NSA because being exclusive by definition is strings.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m 47 and I’ve been in a NSA for almost two years. We both have teens at home and we have no desire to combine families. We are both financially independent, smart, attractive and we enjoy adult companionship. My only “ask” was sexual exclusivity and his only “ask” was sex be not just once a month. That was an easy yes on my part as my libido is pretty high. The sex is fantastic but I also like that he is very well read and he is a great conversationist. We have met each other’s children but we keep everything far enough apart to maintain our distance. He does have LTR potential but until we’re empty nesters that’s a bridge I don’t want to cross.

Hmm. I am 45 divorced mom of two. I’ve been in a relationship with a divorced dad for about 3yrs. We also have no desire to combine families but we see each other about 3-5/week. Our kids have definitely met and I’ll do things with his and he will do stuff with mine and about once a week, we all eat together. How is that different than what you have? I wouldn’t define an exclusive relationship as NSA because being exclusive by definition is strings.

NP - I think anyone concerned about STD's would require at least one string!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I fit your standards, OP, but date 20s.

LOL, sure you do.

In DC it's very easy if you have a career and stay in shape.

40-something men with successful careers who spend a lot of time working out and are having regular mind-blowing sex with 20-somethings are not sitting around posting about it on DCUM.

DP here. I know a few successful men in their 40s and 50s who are divorced, and they're all dating women who are in their 20s and 30s. This is not unheard of.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I fit your standards, OP, but date 20s.

LOL, sure you do.

In DC it's very easy if you have a career and stay in shape.

40-something men with successful careers who spend a lot of time working out and are having regular mind-blowing sex with 20-somethings are not sitting around posting about it on DCUM.

DP here. I know a few successful men in their 40s and 50s who are divorced, and they're all dating women who are in their 20s and 30s. This is not unheard of.

At least it’s good to know being over 30 doesn’t make me undateable.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The hot guys you are describing are dating a 20 or 30 something young women . You are gonna have to deal with dad bod, balding and short on cash because of child support payments

Here we ago with the balding insult. Yes, it's me, the balding guy who always criticizes these comments. I don't have a dad bod and I'm not short on cash. Obectively, I'm funny and a good conversationalist. So why is balding always used as a personal slur? It's hereditary. If anything, shows I have plenty of testosterone.

I never really correlated balding/bald with attractiveness but admit, prefer a man just own it and shave off what’s left and go full bald.

There is a man at a company I work with and he is full on bald (shaves what little patches must have left) and my God I find him absolutely gorgeous. If only I wasn’t married..