DH doesn't want to do skin to skin after baby's born.

[Anonymous]

Don’t worry about this just yet. My DH wasn’t excited about it but when there is an *actual* baby who visibly loves snuggling up, it’s a different ballgame. He definitely did not do it in the delivery room though, too much going on, but a few hours later when we were in our room. Pandemic delivery there’s not much else to do but snuggle the baby!

[Anonymous]

There’s really NO reason why dad needs to do skin-to-skin. The purpose of skin-to-skin is to to help with temp regulation and breastfeeding. Only recently has it spun into something that’s dad’s do as well. Dad will bond with baby just fine if he chooses not to do this....

[Anonymous]

Guy here and this is just plain wacky. My youngest is 15 though. Maybe birthing babies has changed in 15 years?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. Yes it's a thing. that dads do , shouldn't that be obvious due to it being something he's declinign?


Honestly, this is just another thing that he's been resistant to about the baby. He didn't want to read any pregnancy or parenting books. He did finally look at some websites. He didn't see the need to set up a nursery. I did most of the selection for the registry. The research on cribs, nursery colors, car seats, feeding, etc.

The thing is he swears he's always wanted, kids. Cried when he found we were expecting, called everyone.

She's supposed to be here in less than a week and he's all non chalant about it and now the no skin to skin thing is bugging me

I know DCUMers love to say their partners do their share of the parenting, but in my experience OP this is what happens in real life. The mom does all the planning and researching and organizing and the dad is along for the ride and celebrating the accomplishments. Welcome to motherhood!

[Anonymous]

It doesn't matter, OP.

[Anonymous]

First time Mom?

Yeah, chill out. This is a marathon not a sprint. If you sweat the small stuff hubby won't be having another kid with you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. Yes it's a thing. that dads do , shouldn't that be obvious due to it being something he's declinign?


Honestly, this is just another thing that he's been resistant to about the baby. He didn't want to read any pregnancy or parenting books. He did finally look at some websites. He didn't see the need to set up a nursery. I did most of the selection for the registry. The research on cribs, nursery colors, car seats, feeding, etc.

The thing is he swears he's always wanted, kids. Cried when he found we were expecting, called everyone.

She's supposed to be here in less than a week and he's all non chalant about it and now the no skin to skin thing is bugging me

Your expectations are unreasonable and not important. You need to chill.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Guy here and this is just plain wacky. My youngest is 15 though. Maybe birthing babies has changed in 15 years?

Why is a man with a nearly grown child trolling a pregnant mom board?

[Anonymous]

My kids are in their late 20’s and I know I sound ancient here. Skin to skin did not exist when they were born nor did I do a registry. There was one baby book (What To Expect When You Are Expecting). I read it, don’t know if my DH did. He is and was a fabulous father. Your hormones are getting the best of you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. Yes it's a thing. that dads do , shouldn't that be obvious due to it being something he's declinign?


Honestly, this is just another thing that he's been resistant to about the baby. He didn't want to read any pregnancy or parenting books. He did finally look at some websites. He didn't see the need to set up a nursery. I did most of the selection for the registry. The research on cribs, nursery colors, car seats, feeding, etc.

The thing is he swears he's always wanted, kids. Cried when he found we were expecting, called everyone.

She's supposed to be here in less than a week and he's all non chalant about it and now the no skin to skin thing is bugging me

Ah here we go- you are mad at him in general about his participation so far. Friend, don't die on the hill of skin-to-skin! (I was crunchy about birth and went natural but DH didn't do it either.)

Insist about important things- diapers, baths, swaddling, settling the babyetc. Make sure he steps up on those things and let the other stuff go.

He will likely become much more interested once the baby arrives. I wish you a safe and healthy delivery.

[Anonymous]

I had a c-section with other surgery. There was no skin to skin, and I stayed in the OR, and my son spent the first hour of his life snuggled up with his dad, who was wearing a gown. Relax, OP. Any book that tells you that dads must to skin to skin or else your child won’t go to Harvard will contain a ton of other “advice” the only purpose of which is to make you feel bad about yourself for doing parenting “wrong”. Walk away now.

[Anonymous]

If you are doing skin to skin DH doesn’t need to. Let it go.

[Anonymous]

It's fine. Because of an emergency c-section I didn't hold my first child and barely did skin-to-skin in that first week. My husband is a devoted and very attentive father, but he didn't do skin-to-skin. He and the kids are very close.

I think we fetishize these things too much. Nothing is a guarantee of closeness and nothing is going to definitely impede closeness. Each minute is another opportunity for you to engage with and get to know your child.

Don't start a fight at a stressful time. There's no reason to force him to engage in skin-to-skin. You need each other. Be a team. Be understanding of each other's limitations and flaws are work to support each other.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Not sure I’d want my newborn baby up against DH’s big hairy chest. It sounds unsanitary, but that’s just me...

Unsanitary is the point. It's really good for the babies gut health, they need to be exposed to bacteria, especially c-section babies.

[Anonymous]

This is a fairly new thing and most of our DH's did not do this at the hospital. Your hormones are poisoning you right now (and will continue to until you quit breastfeeding). I would let this go. Your husband will be able to bond with the baby without doing skin to skin. If you think your DH is annoying now, just get ready until after the baby comes.