Guy disappeared after death

Anonymous
Perhaps you communicate as awful as you start threat titles?
Here I was going to point out that he certainly disappeared after he died!
Anonymous
How do you know his sister really died?
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Yes you are completely and totally unreasonable. He lost his sister. If you've never lost a sibling, you cannot even imagine the pain of it. You are making this about you and placing expectations on him. You are wrong.


This!!! I divorced my husband because he a feud like you are acting when my sister died. He should dump you.


I actually divorced my first husband after my sister's death too, for similar-ish reasons. Also how his family behaved in the wake if her very sudden/unexpected death. F all of them.
Anonymous
Are you a girlfriend or an f*** buddy, op? I agree with the poster who said that you’d think he’d want the comfort of a girlfriend, if nothing else the ability to be affectionate and experience affection in a way that you don’t get to do outside of a romantic relationship.

Are you doubting the validity of what he told you, i.e. he doesn’t have a sister, or he has one and she didn’t die?

It’s odd that he wouldn’t call or text you to tell you what had happened, the bringing it up after you mentioned him ghosting (and I appologize for the wording) strikes me as strange, like he’s looking for a pass to behave however he’d like and you just have to put up with it, ask no questions, don’t expect any communication, and be ready and willing to pick up where he left you with no discussion. Add to that his not calling when he told you he would, and as sorry as I am if this is true, you don’t deserve to be kept in limbo.

I’m also not a fan of him not communicating with you for 3 days, not communicating until you reached out to him, knowing that the relationship is too new for you to do anything to comfort or help him. It’s a terrible thing to do to someone you claim to like which is why I ask about the type of relationship you two had.
The skeptic in me wonders if he’s been on a bender, or has sex with people you don’t know about… or both, or is married, grief usually makes people want to bond and it’s strange he wouldn’t look to even a short-term girlfriend.


If you are the sort of person who would “demand answers” know he isn’t telling you the “truth” are sure “something is being left out” then I can understand why he’d distance himself from you.

Nobody wants to be dealing with someone who wasn’t there about what “really happened”.

Use this experience to decide how you want to be treated. He doesn’t get to lay down the rules because he’s grieving. You are not obligated to put up with his behavior, as I said, the relationship is to new for him to be a jerk and for you to have any healthy way to deal with it.
All this being said, here’s what I’d do. If he hasn’t contacted you by now, I’d consider yourself single. If he reaches out and wants a healthy relationship, and you are still single, then you two can pick back up if that’s what you’d like to do. Remember, you aren’t obligated to wait for him or engage in any relationship you don’t want to engage in, grief or no grief. I wouldn’t wait for him, mostly because I’ve known people who will pull the death or hospital card only to discover they’ve been doing something I’m really not going to like and that they hope to hell I never find out about. Con men (and women) along with addicts really don’t like it when they are questioned about a disappearing act. grief doesn’t make it acceptable for him to disappear like that. For those that disagree with me, you are free to date this guy or anybody else who treats you poorly. Op doesn’t have to. Nobody I have an intimate relationship with especially a romantic relationship gets to put me in storage expecting I’ll be there when they decide they want me around again. This doesn’t mean I will write the person off, but I will continue with my life, and the room that person once had may look very different when they decide they want back in.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:In college I had a job at Chili’s that I hated. I told my supervisor I had to quit because my brother had leukemia. I don’t have a brother.


This isn’t funny but I definitely laughed.
Anonymous
Did she REALLY die or...? Seams an easy way out of of this relationship. Do you have his FB? Do you know his last name? Obituary is a public info . I dont want to sounds heartless but i did hear stories lile that. New ghosting per se
Anonymous
P here..how do you meet him?
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Guys, this is a troll for sure.


Agree. There have been a lot of weird relationship posts lately that all have some weird "but what should I do?!??" Undertone


People are actually this fckokmkkng selfish. My ex cheated shortly after my dog and 20 yr old cousin died with a lot of women.
Anonymous
We’ve had one phone call since his sister died and he sounded horrible like he’d been crying all day.


Shouldn't you be more concerned about how he feels than about him not sounding like he normally does?
Anonymous
Find the obituary OP
Anonymous
Egg his house and key his car
Anonymous
OP I am really interested to know how you responded when he told you his sister had passed.

I think you typify self-absorbed.
Anonymous
I clicked on this thread thinking that a guy stopped dating OP after he died, and I was curious what OP's expectation would be.

Seriously though, I think OP included the part about the guy sounding like he was crying as evidence that she believes he really had a sister who died and didn't just make up this story. OP, I can see how this situation would bother you. You've been dating the guy for 6 weeks yet he didn't even think you merited a head's up. I can see how that would hurt and make you feel unimportant. It's perfectly reasonable to expect him to at least send you a quick text letting you know what happened so you know why he'll be incommunicado for a while.

At this point, you need to think about whether you can accept the way things are and if it's worth seeing if your relationship will grow. TBH, six weeks is enough time to know if you're really into someone or not. This would have bothered me too, OP.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:Egg his house and key his car



You can also concoct a vomit like mixture from liquids and food scraps. Store it in a gallon milk container. Let it marinate for about a month. Go alone in the middle of the night. Wear black. Pour it on his car. Take the empty container with you. Never speak of it.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:OP I am really interested to know how you responded when he told you his sister had passed.

I think you typify self-absorbed.


+1
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