Disagreement With Wife..

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:FWIW, we are in a building with a private terrace as you show in your choice on a somewhat busy street. It's really not great to hang out there as we thought. It's been amazing during the pandemic, but only because we can open the door and go out just get feel the relief of being outside, but not for hanging out. DH goes out there with headphones and listens to music and does email. But has to have the headphones. And seriously, it's not that busy of a street outside.

We also have a shared roof deck. I know people go up there and hang out, but it's really only single people.

Renting again isn't the end of the world if as a PP said, each of you resents the other's choice.

This is city living. I don’t think you can escape it. Most buildings with elevators in Chicago are on busy streets. The deck in the back should be a little quieter but it’s the city.

I hear you. I'm the poster and we are in NYC. I'm just saying that making a choice based on a private terrace and 30 something cabinets in the kitchen is really about you and not about DW. I just think that you are thinking about what feels great for/to you, and not what is really great for DW. When we first got to NYC we had an amazing walk up space. Truly magical. But man, those stairs got old. And we work out like crazy and always have. (College athletes.)

We have friends in Brooklyn in a walk-up. They leave their stroller on the first floor entry area. They are incredibly lucky no one says anything. And yes, they are madly now trying to find an elevator space they can afford.

Just give some serious thought to those stairs. If it was the only thing you could afford, that would be one thing. But both of those apartments look really nice.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No stairs with a baby. What happens when you have a second child and have to juggle both on the stairs? It’s not going to work.

The smaller kitchen is fine. You can always add storage. Either go with DW’s pick, keep looking, or find another rental.

+1. His choice has much higher taxes. I think her pick is really nice. I would choose hers.

High taxes/condo charges/maintenance can be killers for resale.

[Anonymous]

Her pick- hands down. Strollers need elevators. Think about her being by herself trying to manage a stroller and groceries. That’s tough regardless of how fit you are. And what if you have another child in the next 4 or 5 years. Pregnancy or two young children with stairs on your own is a nightmare. This is not a hard call.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. We went through dozen and really only like these two. I do love her choice too but like mine a little better. She cares more about an elevator, and I care more about a deck. I didn’t think 16 stairs is that much of an issue because we are both fit and active. Maybe an elevator building is the better choice. She will probably end up winning because I will give in.

Think it is obvious to everyone that you should give in to your wife.

[Anonymous]

Higher taxes plus, worse, the stairs mean I would go with your wife’s choice. I really like yours a lot, and I like it more than hers. However, given the age of your child, no elevator is going to be absolutely hellish. Before your kid can do the stairs in his own, he’ll need to be carried and he’ll be feeling pretty damned heavy. Even when he can technically do the stairs himself, he will want to be carried as a toddler. Elevator option. Next time you get to pick the one you like best.

[Anonymous]

You have a newborn in the middle of a pandemic. You have no idea how much crap a little person needs and it will be a pain in the ass to carry these items up and down stairs.

[Anonymous]

Not having stairs will really limit you guys when you re-sale. Look at it from that perspective- you’re truly limiting the “buyer pool“ during re-sale with your condo choice.

[Anonymous]

My parents have 5 steps at their house. Whenever we go to their house, it is so difficult with the stroller. I’m not sure what your car/garage situation is, whether you will be leaving a stroller down there. When we lived in nyc, it was so easy to push the stroller in and out of the house with the elevator. I would walk to the grocery store with the stroller. Baby would fall asleep in the stroller and we could let him continue sleeping in the stroller. I can’t imagine lifting a stroller with child up 16 steps.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. We went through dozen and really only like these two. I do love her choice too but like mine a little better. She cares more about an elevator, and I care more about a deck. I didn’t think 16 stairs is that much of an issue because we are both fit and active. Maybe an elevator building is the better choice. She will probably end up winning because I will give in.

Think it is obvious to everyone that you should give in to your wife.

If she is the one doing the shopping, its hard to carry up that many groceries. If you do it all, maybe. But, consider two kids, car seats, strollers, kid gear as well.

[Anonymous]

Keep looking until you find something you agree on.

[Anonymous]

Go with the elevator one. As everyone else said if you have young kids and bring load of groceries stairs are nightmare.
Also if you are sick, having older parents over and if you broke a leg or something stairs are nightmare.

[Anonymous]

OMG - after seeing both of them, I am totally Team DH. That private deck is amazing. And, yes, kitchen is much better. I like your pick a lot better for the same price.

-woman with kids who would put up with stairs

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. We went through dozen and really only like these two. I do love her choice too but like mine a little better. She cares more about an elevator, and I care more about a deck. I didn’t think 16 stairs is that much of an issue because we are both fit and active. Maybe an elevator building is the better choice. She will probably end up winning because I will give in.

Think it is obvious to everyone that you should give in to your wife.

It’s obvious that some things are dealbreakers when you’re a parent.

Choosing a condo with stairs when you have a baby (and will possibly have another child in the next few years) is incredibly shortsighted. Carrying that baby plus groceries or take out is going to make you hate that place with a passion. You will have to deal with it every time you leave and every time you come home. I have a friend who compromised and bought a house further way than she liked and now she says she hates going home and hates her house but they can’t afford to move.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OMG - after seeing both of them, I am totally Team DH. That private deck is amazing. And, yes, kitchen is much better. I like your pick a lot better for the same price.

-woman with kids who would put up with stairs

How old are your kids?

I ask because I would have no problem going up stairs if my kids were preschoolers on up. OP has a newborn so he’s looking at carrying a car seat up and down. After that, it’ll be a stroller up and down. They’re planning to live there for 5 years and those are the most “stuff” heavy years! Maybe if it was more of a long term thing it would make sense, but not for where they are in life. Can you imagine if they have another kid? She’s pregnant and carrying a stroller plus toddler up and down the stairs? Every day.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OMG - after seeing both of them, I am totally Team DH. That private deck is amazing. And, yes, kitchen is much better. I like your pick a lot better for the same price.

-woman with kids who would put up with stairs

I bet you have older kids and forgot the baby/toddler years.

I have 3 kids. My youngest is now 3. I remember when we were looking at homes when we had just 2 kids, any home with stairs to the main level was a no.

When is the last time you had a double stroller at the bottom of 16 stairs? Or had a sleeping 40 pound toddler in a stroller to carry up 16 stairs?

I’m sure OP thinks carrying an infant baby seat up and down stairs is no big deal.