Anyone else with kids who make "hate posters"??

[Anonymous]

My kid does it. It’s a way to get his feelings out. I shrug and then laugh in private.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. I already know the majority of parents would say, yeah that's disturbing, my kid would never do something like this, this kid needs therapy. I'm already aware my kid is different.

I want to talk to the parents who have kids like this and if they cope in this manner, or if not, maybe share some other better ways of coping. I am talking about the kids who are intense, ultra sensitive, emotionally dysregulated, with the inappropriate anger responses to run of the mill events.

You are aware your kid is different, and that’s good. But are you aware that she really does need actual therapy? I work with elementary school students, many of whom have issues with dysregulation. This is next level from that.

[Anonymous]

Assuming this isn't a troll... I view the posters as a crutch to help express negative emotions, but you still need to address the underlying issue, which is uncontrollable anger.

Blowing you up with TNT while laughing? WTF... I hope this is a troll after all...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here to clarify - I'm not at particular odds with my child. The majority of the time, we get along. If I were to bring this poster up the next day - my child would probably be embarassed and laugh and not want to talk about it. It's forgotten the day after. She'd say she doesn't know why she draws those things. I'm posting about this particular instance because it's definitely in that questionable area....especially with the drawing of the exploding mommies and the child sitting, watching and laughing. Also, she saves her worst for me and my husband. When we ask her why she says such awful disrespectful things to us and never to anyone else, she says "because i know you guys love me no matter what, isn't that obvious?"

I think this is a really important topic to explore with her. Family should not be defined as the people who you can take out your negative feelings on because they have to love you. There are a LOT of abusive adult children and spouses who think that way. We should not hurt family just because we can. Love doesn’t erase the hurt. Often it just makes it cut more deeply. She is old enough to understand you are not just a trampoline for her to bounce feelings off.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is over the top.

I wouldn’t stop my kid from writing this stuff down and drawing in a notebook or paper that she keeps put away in her desk, but making a poster to display in the house crosses a line. There’s a difference between expressing your feelings and being very disrespectful.

In short, this would not be allowed in my house.

Also, age 3 is really young to cone up with this plan and execute it. Is this something you started with your preschoolers and it spiraled out of control now that you have elementary aged kids?

+1
Have the same feelings and questions. Your 3 year old could write? And wrote screeds?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here to clarify - I'm not at particular odds with my child. The majority of the time, we get along. If I were to bring this poster up the next day - my child would probably be embarassed and laugh and not want to talk about it. It's forgotten the day after. She'd say she doesn't know why she draws those things. I'm posting about this particular instance because it's definitely in that questionable area....especially with the drawing of the exploding mommies and the child sitting, watching and laughing. Also, she saves her worst for me and my husband. When we ask her why she says such awful disrespectful things to us and never to anyone else, she says "because i know you guys love me no matter what, isn't that obvious?"

One day she'll have a spouse. You're teaching her a coping mechanism that will destroy her close relationships.

[Anonymous]

I have a friend with a kid like yours. Their kid is in intense therapy (which it sounds like your kid really needs). Please get a really good therapist to help your daughter work out feelings.

As a teen i went to weekly v therapy and we spent a ton of time talking about my fights with my parents. Kept me from expressing that frustration in more negative ways and we have a great relationship today. My parents and therapist never ever encouraged this kind of negative focus!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is over the top.

I wouldn’t stop my kid from writing this stuff down and drawing in a notebook or paper that she keeps put away in her desk, but making a poster to display in the house crosses a line. There’s a difference between expressing your feelings and being very disrespectful.

In short, this would not be allowed in my house.

Also, age 3 is really young to cone up with this plan and execute it. Is this something you started with your preschoolers and it spiraled out of control now that you have elementary aged kids?

+100000
You probably taught them to do this. It's extremely disrespectful. Now in- teach it.

Maybe I did? So at age 3, she harbored a lot of anger and resentment to the new sibling. I redirected her physical violence to drawing, which she didn't even know how to draw at first. But then she started drawing like crazy - some dark sh*t. Honestly, yes, it was a bit disturbing. But I had to give her some way to express her anger and resentment. And it was a whole year of dark drawings. And so weird, because we were also pretty strict with screens, movies, and shows - but the stuff she drew, it was stuff she was never exposed to, it was literally out of her creative mind. And eventually it all just changed. She can just be a really intense kid, with intense feelings, and intense persistence.

FWIW she (mostly) draws happy drawings now.

Yeah, you need to see a psychiatrist...should have done it five years ago when your three year old was being physically violent and drawing dark shit. Why do you think psychiatrists exist? This is a no brainer. Wake up mom.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. I already know the majority of parents would say, yeah that's disturbing, my kid would never do something like this, this kid needs therapy. I'm already aware my kid is different.

I want to talk to the parents who have kids like this and if they cope in this manner, or if not, maybe share some other better ways of coping. I am talking about the kids who are intense, ultra sensitive, emotionally dysregulated, with the inappropriate anger responses to run of the mill events.

God, I hope you’re a troll.

[Anonymous]

Mine doesn't but I think its normal. I really disliked my parents. I am close to my kids and would just tell me when they are mad.

[Anonymous]

I think the drawings and what she’s writing is extreme but my kids will write things about their siblings and tape them to their door after a fight. Things like “X is bad!” and “ X is the worst sister!”. I would be a little worried if they were drawing things like people eating TNT, though.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. I already know the majority of parents would say, yeah that's disturbing, my kid would never do something like this, this kid needs therapy. I'm already aware my kid is different.

I want to talk to the parents who have kids like this and if they cope in this manner, or if not, maybe share some other better ways of coping. I am talking about the kids who are intense, ultra sensitive, emotionally dysregulated, with the inappropriate anger responses to run of the mill events.

You are aware your kid is different, and that’s good. But are you aware that she really does need actual therapy? I work with elementary school students, many of whom have issues with dysregulation. This is next level from that.

You should post in the special needs forum. My child doesn't do this because he's dyslexic in addition to the difficulty regulating emotion. He made up a song once and wrote down over and over the chorus about how dumb I am. Therapy would be helpful to start if you guys aren't doing it yet. It sounds like the posters are a way for her to process her negative feelings, so I wouldn't over-react.

[Anonymous]

My older two went through brief phase around age 4-6 where, after having been punished, they would slide a paper under my door with something along the lines of "NO NO NO BAD <parent> SAD <child name> NO NO NO"

I hope I still have some of these notes somewhere.

[Anonymous]

Im sorry OP, this sounds really hard. MAYbe contact a therapist separately and see what they say? I think it sounds goodthat she's able to express these feelings and use drawings as a means of expression. That is the good news. Lots of therapists use drawing with kids to help draw out what is going on inside.

[Anonymous]

I’m sorry, but that’s funny. I’m sorry again, I know I shouldn’t laugh.