Anyone else with kids who make "hate posters"??

[Anonymous]

So, just wondering.....have any of your kids made "hate posters" when they are mad?

The most recent one: My child has some focusing/distraction issues, and I must have said something to her about it, I honestly don't remember. Found a full size illustrated poster filled with hate messages like "Mom you really are the worst" "I hate you so much!" "You say it's harder for me to focus but it's just that you're too idiotic to think the only part of yoru body that works is your mouth" "You say I'm easily distracted but really you're just an idiot!" And also filled with a bunch of detailed illustrations of me eating TNT and exploding, and also of them watching the exploding mommies and laughing. Hung it up on the bedroom door. Lovely!!!

I have been allowing it, because it seems to be a way to vent without actually getting violent. This has been going on from age 3-8.

Just curious if anyone else has a child who does this.

[Anonymous]

I wouldn't allow it. Or they would have to make a love poster for each hate one. You're teaching them to focus on bad feelings.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I wouldn't allow it. Or they would have to make a love poster for each hate one. You're teaching them to focus on bad feelings.

But if they are not putting it in a poster, they are actually saying it to my face, which is much worse. With the poster, I can just let it hang for a day and then throw it out.

[Anonymous]

What.

[Anonymous]

This is over the top.

I wouldn’t stop my kid from writing this stuff down and drawing in a notebook or paper that she keeps put away in her desk, but making a poster to display in the house crosses a line. There’s a difference between expressing your feelings and being very disrespectful.

In short, this would not be allowed in my house.

Also, age 3 is really young to cone up with this plan and execute it. Is this something you started with your preschoolers and it spiraled out of control now that you have elementary aged kids?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I wouldn't allow it. Or they would have to make a love poster for each hate one. You're teaching them to focus on bad feelings.

But if they are not putting it in a poster, they are actually saying it to my face, which is much worse. With the poster, I can just let it hang for a day and then throw it out.

It’s not either or! WTF?!?

This is like the people who say they let their kids get drunk in their house because otherwise they’d be getting drunk somewhere else! Take a parenting class, read a book and man up!

[Anonymous]

If my kid did this, I'd allow a cool down period and then bring it back out and ask her to tell me about it.

Hear her feelings about what you said. Apologize if you said something that hurt her feelings.

And then explain why seeing this hurts YOUR feelings. I'd tell her that if it helps her to draw out her negative feelings, here's a notebook. But she is not to give it to you or tape it to your door. It's her private notebook where she could put all that down.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is over the top.

I wouldn’t stop my kid from writing this stuff down and drawing in a notebook or paper that she keeps put away in her desk, but making a poster to display in the house crosses a line. There’s a difference between expressing your feelings and being very disrespectful.

In short, this would not be allowed in my house.

Also, age 3 is really young to cone up with this plan and execute it. Is this something you started with your preschoolers and it spiraled out of control now that you have elementary aged kids?

+100000
You probably taught them to do this. It's extremely disrespectful. Now in- teach it.

[Anonymous]

Should place this in a journal, not a poster for everyone to see.

[Anonymous]

This is really disturbing to me.

It's fine to have bad thoughts--we all have them--but we need to learn how sharing those thoughts affects others.

Writing down the negative thoughts and then ripping them up seems like a better way to deal with them.

[Anonymous]

My kid has been writing in what I call a burn books since he learned how to write. Mostly, he writes down who was mean to him. Sometimes he keeps it to himself, sometimes he shoes us the notes about us so we know he's mad and thinks we were mean. In general, I think its funny and an appropriate way to vent.

[Anonymous]

I would not allow them to hang it up. It's fine to have those feelings, and it's fine to write them down, and it's even fine to share them with you, in, say, a letter. But making a poster saying they hate you and showing you being blown up and hanging up in the house is crossing a line.

[Anonymous]

Wow. I suppose that's how your child gets all her negative energy out? It's a little disturbing, but as long as it doesn't go beyond that...

One of my children verbalizes similar things, but she says a couple of sentences, and then she's done, and ready to apologize if she really crossed a line. She would never go to the length of making a poster about how she wants to turn into a Siberian tiger and EAT me

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If my kid did this, I'd allow a cool down period and then bring it back out and ask her to tell me about it.

Hear her feelings about what you said. Apologize if you said something that hurt her feelings.

And then explain why seeing this hurts YOUR feelings. I'd tell her that if it helps her to draw out her negative feelings, here's a notebook. But she is not to give it to you or tape it to your door. It's her private notebook where she could put all that down.

This is really good advice, thanks. I can't address it when she's still mad - she's completely unreasonable when she's mad and it's like stoking the fire.
-OP

[Anonymous]

Sorry, this is quite disturbing. Therapy for the child?