Copycat MIL

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I noticed a similar copycat issue, except it's with my older SIL. SIL is now dressing very similar to me, even down to the coloring and brands. She has adopted our silly birthday traditions. She signs her emails exactly as I do. When she finds out I've picked up a new activity, she does too. Same with signing up activities for her kids.

None of these are, individually, a big deal. But it does make me feel odd, like I'm being unduly watched.

And no, I don't think I'm a special unique snowflake. But the copycat behavior CAN be unsettling. I think that's because outright copying is outside the norm, and also because it's unacknowledged. There's no "Oh, I love that idea!" or "What a great purse! Where did you get it?" and a normal conversation. She just watches and replicates.

+1. It's annoying af. Had SIL dump my purse without permission to copy the contents, even.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is so strange. My mom, MIL and I talk about recipes we enjoy and share them. If I made something good, why wouldn’t I share my recipe or where I got a special ingredient?

It’s not like they are going to screw me out of a blue ribbon at the county fair. It’s a recipe. You probably all read the same grocery store checkout magazines and watch the same HGTV and Food channel shows.

Generally, I agree with you...except... made the mistake of sharing with MIL after turning down my BIL's wife's request for my family recipe for her "family cookbook". Stupid twat was aware that her mother's entire plan was to sell it on amazon and through her local bookstore and church. Of course nobody was given credit for their recipes or given anything, much less a part of the sales. Then she asked for more recipes for v.2. NOPE.

I only found out afterwards that apparently her mother was specifically targeting my recipes because she (and our MIL) were constantly raving about them. Everyone else I meet I just give the link to my online recipe box and couldn't care less because they aren't trying to profit off them and are just sharing joy with their friends and family.

I don't know that I would use the word "twat" in this context, but you do you. If your basic recipe for spinach dip is that unique and precious, go ahead and get that riled up about it!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote: .... None of these are, individually, a big deal. But it does make me feel odd, like I'm being unduly watched.

And no, I don't think I'm a special unique snowflake. But the copycat behavior CAN be unsettling. I think that's because outright copying is outside the norm, and also because it's unacknowledged. There's no "Oh, I love that idea!" or "What a great purse! Where did you get it?" and a normal conversation. She just watches and replicates.

Pp. The unacknowledged observations are what I was touching on in my earlier post. If you like something and then copy it you don't have to tell me, but they are personal design choices or unusual fashion styles. When it keeps happening shortly after noticing it in our home or on me it feels weird. And it can be very specific, not like copying a brand of hummus from Wegman's, or whatever the pp on this thread keeps describing.

For example, in our guest room we had a peculiar issue with the height of a side lamp, so I placed it on top of an item you wouldn't normally see there. The next time we visited DH's parents the side lamps were placed on top of the same items. They hadn't mentioned it at our home but it obviously made an impression.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote: .... None of these are, individually, a big deal. But it does make me feel odd, like I'm being unduly watched.

And no, I don't think I'm a special unique snowflake. But the copycat behavior CAN be unsettling. I think that's because outright copying is outside the norm, and also because it's unacknowledged. There's no "Oh, I love that idea!" or "What a great purse! Where did you get it?" and a normal conversation. She just watches and replicates.

Pp. The unacknowledged observations are what I was touching on in my earlier post. If you like something and then copy it you don't have to tell me, but they are personal design choices or unusual fashion styles. When it keeps happening shortly after noticing it in our home or on me it feels weird. And it can be very specific, not like copying a brand of hummus from Wegman's, or whatever the pp on this thread keeps describing.

For example, in our guest room we had a peculiar issue with the height of a side lamp, so I placed it on top of an item you wouldn't normally see there. The next time we visited DH's parents the side lamps were placed on top of the same items. They hadn't mentioned it at our home but it obviously made an impression.

Did you write to Martha Stewart to tell her you did your dining room in teal after seeing that in her magazine? Did you note in your wedding program that you went with all-white flowers because Kate Middleton did? Did you call up a colleague to tell her that you now wear sweater jackets because she wears them and they look cozy and polished? Did you tell the church friend that you brought Buffalo chicken dip to your family reunion in another state two months after she brought it to church potluck?

That's how life works. You see something, you think it looks comfy or pretty or yummy or practical, and you adopt it. Do you Tweet Jennifer Aniston to let her know you took her photo to your stylist?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote: .... None of these are, individually, a big deal. But it does make me feel odd, like I'm being unduly watched.

And no, I don't think I'm a special unique snowflake. But the copycat behavior CAN be unsettling. I think that's because outright copying is outside the norm, and also because it's unacknowledged. There's no "Oh, I love that idea!" or "What a great purse! Where did you get it?" and a normal conversation. She just watches and replicates.

Pp. The unacknowledged observations are what I was touching on in my earlier post. If you like something and then copy it you don't have to tell me, but they are personal design choices or unusual fashion styles. When it keeps happening shortly after noticing it in our home or on me it feels weird. And it can be very specific, not like copying a brand of hummus from Wegman's, or whatever the pp on this thread keeps describing.

For example, in our guest room we had a peculiar issue with the height of a side lamp, so I placed it on top of an item you wouldn't normally see there. The next time we visited DH's parents the side lamps were placed on top of the same items. They hadn't mentioned it at our home but it obviously made an impression.

Did you write to Martha Stewart to tell her you did your dining room in teal after seeing that in her magazine? Did you note in your wedding program that you went with all-white flowers because Kate Middleton did? Did you call up a colleague to tell her that you now wear sweater jackets because she wears them and they look cozy and polished? Did you tell the church friend that you brought Buffalo chicken dip to your family reunion in another state two months after she brought it to church potluck?

That's how life works. You see something, you think it looks comfy or pretty or yummy or practical, and you adopt it. Do you Tweet Jennifer Aniston to let her know you took her photo to your stylist?

Ha. You're just the one I expected to reply. If you haven't happened to you then you don't get it, which is fine. Carry on.