Not hiding normal bodily functions from your spouse

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:“Pass gas.” Puh-leeze! Can’t you just say “fart?”

We dont want to say it and we dont want to smell it. We would rather just let it... pass on by. As if it never existed. Like "passed away" instead of "dead". We get the picture, both ways. I won't ask you fart alone if you don't ask me to say it. Deal?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:To this day I have never heard my mother or father pass gas. Nor any of my siblings save when they were very young children. I can remember when my brother was going through a phase of thinking it was funny to pass gas loudly, and my mother giving him a long talk on a walk about how polite people don't pass gas in front of others. He couldn't believe anyone else passed gas, he literally thought he was the only one, because that's how discreet everyone else was! My mom told him in a nice way that everyone does, but it's impolite, and needs to be kept private the way all bodily/bathroom functions do

I seriously dont understand how this is even an issue? Unless you're incontinent, why cant you regulate your bowels? Do you openly pass gas in work and other public settings? Why are people obsessed with this topic on here?

Here’s my problem: how can you stop it? It’s not bowels; it’s gas. Can you control when you pass gas?

Yes, unless there's extraordinary circumstances and then you can excuse yourself to go to a different room or bathroom. Do you pass gas openly in front of your coworkers or in a meeting?

I do my best to conceal it, but frankly, if I got up, it would probably come out. You have exceptional control over your flatulence.

Have you ever pooped your pants?

Yes, when I was a kid.

Don't you understand the situation in which you really need to pass gas and if you get up to do it elsewhere, it'll release itself? That's really not abnormal ...

[Anonymous]

Lots of uptight people in here.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm a guy who can count on one hand the number of times I have farted anywhere near my wife. I think it's rude as hell and let's just be honest, it's gross. "But but but it's NATURAL!" Okay I guess I should just poop on the bed then. I have always found people who fart in a classroom, a meeting, etc. to be extremely inconsiderate people. It should not be hard to hold a fart for an hour at least, and if it is then you need to stop eating a 24/7 diet of fast food and/or see your nearest health practitioner.

There are lots of stuff about people that are natural - getting oily hair, morning breath smell, clogged nostrils, gas. I'm not going to wake up in the morning and sit on my wife's lap while huffing and puffing bad breath into her face, simultaneously rubbing her hand over my greasy head while I blow my nose onto her shirt and fart everywhere. Apparently for some people that's just how they live their life.

Why do you people exaggerate so much - those of us comfortable with bodily functions in front of our spouse don't purposefully do it or aim to do it - but we aren't embarrassed or ashamed if a fart does slip out, or with telling our spouse if we feel gassy. I'm not going to poop with the door open while having a conversation with my DH, but I'm not going to hide the fact that I just pooped either, which some women try to do with their spouse - THAT I think is what OP is getting at, which is just weird. What if you get a health condition later in life and need your spouse's help with bodily functions? Better to already be 100% comfortable with your life partner.

OP here. Yes, that's what I'm talking about.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm a guy who can count on one hand the number of times I have farted anywhere near my wife. I think it's rude as hell and let's just be honest, it's gross. "But but but it's NATURAL!" Okay I guess I should just poop on the bed then. I have always found people who fart in a classroom, a meeting, etc. to be extremely inconsiderate people. It should not be hard to hold a fart for an hour at least, and if it is then you need to stop eating a 24/7 diet of fast food and/or see your nearest health practitioner.

There are lots of stuff about people that are natural - getting oily hair, morning breath smell, clogged nostrils, gas. I'm not going to wake up in the morning and sit on my wife's lap while huffing and puffing bad breath into her face, simultaneously rubbing her hand over my greasy head while I blow my nose onto her shirt and fart everywhere. Apparently for some people that's just how they live their life.

Why do you people exaggerate so much - those of us comfortable with bodily functions in front of our spouse don't purposefully do it or aim to do it - but we aren't embarrassed or ashamed if a fart does slip out, or with telling our spouse if we feel gassy. I'm not going to poop with the door open while having a conversation with my DH, but I'm not going to hide the fact that I just pooped either, which some women try to do with their spouse - THAT I think is what OP is getting at, which is just weird. What if you get a health condition later in life and need your spouse's help with bodily functions? Better to already be 100% comfortable with your life partner.

What do you mean "YOU PEOPLE?" But seriously, what do you mean? Because in my opinion, after reading the nth thread on this topic, there are just as many "exaggerators" on the pro-fart side. I don't know if it was this thread or another one started with the past few days where someone was saying she and her husband were having farting competitions. Another poster said her husband comes around and farts on her on purpose and she finds it hilarious. Just, honestly, if you're going to do that you might as well just take a dump on the kitchen floor from my perspective. I'm not living in that household either way.

That does NOT mean you have to feel humiliated if you accidentally fart around the other person. That's not what I said. An accident is an accident. But if you're not at least trying to maintain some semblance of politeness and consideration, then it's just rude and gross.

[Anonymous]

NP here. Been married for a few decades. There is no reason for us to be embarrassed if one of us walks in when the other is using the toilet.

But, we do lock the bathroom door when we are using it. I mean who wants to linger and have a conversation when the other party is emptying their bowels? Seriously, how is this pleasant for anyone?

[Anonymous]

Thankfully, every one in my household eats pretty healthy and mainly vegetarian food. It is rare for us to have a noisy and stinky fart. I mean every human passes gas continuously but if you have a healthy gut and are slim built it will be mostly noiseless and odorless.

Having said that...we do use poo-pourri at home when we poop. All of us are at home and all of us are using the bathrooms through out the day. Even with the exhaust on. we don't want to smell any unpleasant smells.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm a guy who can count on one hand the number of times I have farted anywhere near my wife. I think it's rude as hell and let's just be honest, it's gross. "But but but it's NATURAL!" Okay I guess I should just poop on the bed then. I have always found people who fart in a classroom, a meeting, etc. to be extremely inconsiderate people. It should not be hard to hold a fart for an hour at least, and if it is then you need to stop eating a 24/7 diet of fast food and/or see your nearest health practitioner.

There are lots of stuff about people that are natural - getting oily hair, morning breath smell, clogged nostrils, gas. I'm not going to wake up in the morning and sit on my wife's lap while huffing and puffing bad breath into her face, simultaneously rubbing her hand over my greasy head while I blow my nose onto her shirt and fart everywhere. Apparently for some people that's just how they live their life.

Why do you people exaggerate so much - those of us comfortable with bodily functions in front of our spouse don't purposefully do it or aim to do it - but we aren't embarrassed or ashamed if a fart does slip out, or with telling our spouse if we feel gassy. I'm not going to poop with the door open while having a conversation with my DH, but I'm not going to hide the fact that I just pooped either, which some women try to do with their spouse - THAT I think is what OP is getting at, which is just weird. What if you get a health condition later in life and need your spouse's help with bodily functions? Better to already be 100% comfortable with your life partner.

OP here. Yes, that's what I'm talking about.

DP, but probably one you're talking about. When I go upstairs and the whole bedroom smells like A I think to myself, 'yuck' and that is my thought of my husband right then. About poop, about him pooping, about the smell of the poop. Am I feeling simultaneously amorous? No not really. I don't really want my husband to know about me pooping. I don't want him thinking about me and thinking poop related thoughts. I want him to think of me as soft and clean and good smelling. Because that's how I like to think of him!

He knows I poop! He will happily go out and buy me tampons and other feminine hygeine products. If I have a yeast infection I'm always up front about it. I don't hide natural things. But in the day to day I like to be thought of as physically appealing, and I don't find farts physically appealing. He thinks this is a funny little quirk of mine and makes jokes to the kids about how mommy magically has no toots.

IMO there are weird extremists on both sides (you're speaking my language guy who says this is like pooping on the bed!). People who seem to relish in grossing one another out and who have explosive bowel movements together and then women who, Mrs. Maisel style, wake up an hour before their husbands to put on a full face. Both of them are crazy. But most people are just in the middle, we know we do these things, but we're happy to just take care of it on our own.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Thankfully, every one in my household eats pretty healthy and mainly vegetarian food. It is rare for us to have a noisy and stinky fart. I mean every human passes gas continuously but if you have a healthy gut and are slim built it will be mostly noiseless and odorless.

Having said that...we do use poo-pourri at home when we poop. All of us are at home and all of us are using the bathrooms through out the day. Even with the exhaust on. we don't want to smell any unpleasant smells.

This is so damn wrong, I can't even begin to explain it.

You do know that some of the foods known to produce the most flatulence are vegetables, right?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm a guy who can count on one hand the number of times I have farted anywhere near my wife. I think it's rude as hell and let's just be honest, it's gross. "But but but it's NATURAL!" Okay I guess I should just poop on the bed then. I have always found people who fart in a classroom, a meeting, etc. to be extremely inconsiderate people. It should not be hard to hold a fart for an hour at least, and if it is then you need to stop eating a 24/7 diet of fast food and/or see your nearest health practitioner.

There are lots of stuff about people that are natural - getting oily hair, morning breath smell, clogged nostrils, gas. I'm not going to wake up in the morning and sit on my wife's lap while huffing and puffing bad breath into her face, simultaneously rubbing her hand over my greasy head while I blow my nose onto her shirt and fart everywhere. Apparently for some people that's just how they live their life.

Why do you people exaggerate so much - those of us comfortable with bodily functions in front of our spouse don't purposefully do it or aim to do it - but we aren't embarrassed or ashamed if a fart does slip out, or with telling our spouse if we feel gassy. I'm not going to poop with the door open while having a conversation with my DH, but I'm not going to hide the fact that I just pooped either, which some women try to do with their spouse - THAT I think is what OP is getting at, which is just weird. What if you get a health condition later in life and need your spouse's help with bodily functions? Better to already be 100% comfortable with your life partner.

OP here. Yes, that's what I'm talking about.

DP, but probably one you're talking about. When I go upstairs and the whole bedroom smells like A I think to myself, 'yuck' and that is my thought of my husband right then. About poop, about him pooping, about the smell of the poop. Am I feeling simultaneously amorous? No not really. I don't really want my husband to know about me pooping. I don't want him thinking about me and thinking poop related thoughts. I want him to think of me as soft and clean and good smelling. Because that's how I like to think of him!

He knows I poop! He will happily go out and buy me tampons and other feminine hygeine products. If I have a yeast infection I'm always up front about it. I don't hide natural things. But in the day to day I like to be thought of as physically appealing, and I don't find farts physically appealing. He thinks this is a funny little quirk of mine and makes jokes to the kids about how mommy magically has no toots.

IMO there are weird extremists on both sides (you're speaking my language guy who says this is like pooping on the bed!). People who seem to relish in grossing one another out and who have explosive bowel movements together and then women who, Mrs. Maisel style, wake up an hour before their husbands to put on a full face. Both of them are crazy. But most people are just in the middle, we know we do these things, but we're happy to just take care of it on our own.

OP here. Why the hell do you think we think passing gas is appealing?! There's a difference between not freaking out if you do it in front of your spouse and thinking it's appealing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm a guy who can count on one hand the number of times I have farted anywhere near my wife. I think it's rude as hell and let's just be honest, it's gross. "But but but it's NATURAL!" Okay I guess I should just poop on the bed then. I have always found people who fart in a classroom, a meeting, etc. to be extremely inconsiderate people. It should not be hard to hold a fart for an hour at least, and if it is then you need to stop eating a 24/7 diet of fast food and/or see your nearest health practitioner.

There are lots of stuff about people that are natural - getting oily hair, morning breath smell, clogged nostrils, gas. I'm not going to wake up in the morning and sit on my wife's lap while huffing and puffing bad breath into her face, simultaneously rubbing her hand over my greasy head while I blow my nose onto her shirt and fart everywhere. Apparently for some people that's just how they live their life.

Why do you people exaggerate so much - those of us comfortable with bodily functions in front of our spouse don't purposefully do it or aim to do it - but we aren't embarrassed or ashamed if a fart does slip out, or with telling our spouse if we feel gassy. I'm not going to poop with the door open while having a conversation with my DH, but I'm not going to hide the fact that I just pooped either, which some women try to do with their spouse - THAT I think is what OP is getting at, which is just weird. What if you get a health condition later in life and need your spouse's help with bodily functions? Better to already be 100% comfortable with your life partner.

What do you mean "YOU PEOPLE?" But seriously, what do you mean? Because in my opinion, after reading the nth thread on this topic, there are just as many "exaggerators" on the pro-fart side. I don't know if it was this thread or another one started with the past few days where someone was saying she and her husband were having farting competitions. Another poster said her husband comes around and farts on her on purpose and she finds it hilarious. Just, honestly, if you're going to do that you might as well just take a dump on the kitchen floor from my perspective. I'm not living in that household either way.

That does NOT mean you have to feel humiliated if you accidentally fart around the other person. That's not what I said. An accident is an accident. But if you're not at least trying to maintain some semblance of politeness and consideration, then it's just rude and gross.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm a guy who can count on one hand the number of times I have farted anywhere near my wife. I think it's rude as hell and let's just be honest, it's gross. "But but but it's NATURAL!" Okay I guess I should just poop on the bed then. I have always found people who fart in a classroom, a meeting, etc. to be extremely inconsiderate people. It should not be hard to hold a fart for an hour at least, and if it is then you need to stop eating a 24/7 diet of fast food and/or see your nearest health practitioner.

There are lots of stuff about people that are natural - getting oily hair, morning breath smell, clogged nostrils, gas. I'm not going to wake up in the morning and sit on my wife's lap while huffing and puffing bad breath into her face, simultaneously rubbing her hand over my greasy head while I blow my nose onto her shirt and fart everywhere. Apparently for some people that's just how they live their life.

Why do you people exaggerate so much - those of us comfortable with bodily functions in front of our spouse don't purposefully do it or aim to do it - but we aren't embarrassed or ashamed if a fart does slip out, or with telling our spouse if we feel gassy. I'm not going to poop with the door open while having a conversation with my DH, but I'm not going to hide the fact that I just pooped either, which some women try to do with their spouse - THAT I think is what OP is getting at, which is just weird. What if you get a health condition later in life and need your spouse's help with bodily functions? Better to already be 100% comfortable with your life partner.

OP here. Yes, that's what I'm talking about.

DP, but probably one you're talking about. When I go upstairs and the whole bedroom smells like A I think to myself, 'yuck' and that is my thought of my husband right then. About poop, about him pooping, about the smell of the poop. Am I feeling simultaneously amorous? No not really. I don't really want my husband to know about me pooping. I don't want him thinking about me and thinking poop related thoughts. I want him to think of me as soft and clean and good smelling. Because that's how I like to think of him!

He knows I poop! He will happily go out and buy me tampons and other feminine hygeine products. If I have a yeast infection I'm always up front about it. I don't hide natural things. But in the day to day I like to be thought of as physically appealing, and I don't find farts physically appealing. He thinks this is a funny little quirk of mine and makes jokes to the kids about how mommy magically has no toots.

IMO there are weird extremists on both sides (you're speaking my language guy who says this is like pooping on the bed!). People who seem to relish in grossing one another out and who have explosive bowel movements together and then women who, Mrs. Maisel style, wake up an hour before their husbands to put on a full face. Both of them are crazy. But most people are just in the middle, we know we do these things, but we're happy to just take care of it on our own.

OP here. Why the hell do you think we think passing gas is appealing?! There's a difference between not freaking out if you do it in front of your spouse and thinking it's appealing.

I think the number of people who 'freak out' if their spouse passes gas in front of them occasionally is exceptionally low. You keep changing the definition of who you're talking about though.

There is a big difference between the person who never wants their husband to know they pooped, ever, and the person who screams at their husband for farting.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Thankfully, every one in my household eats pretty healthy and mainly vegetarian food. It is rare for us to have a noisy and stinky fart. I mean every human passes gas continuously but if you have a healthy gut and are slim built it will be mostly noiseless and odorless.

Having said that...we do use poo-pourri at home when we poop. All of us are at home and all of us are using the bathrooms through out the day. Even with the exhaust on. we don't want to smell any unpleasant smells.

This is so damn wrong, I can't even begin to explain it.

You do know that some of the foods known to produce the most flatulence are vegetables, right?

NP ... the PP said "rare for us to have noisy and stinky farts" not no farts. It's meat products that make fart stinky, vegetarians fart a LOT but they tend to not really smell

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:To this day I have never heard my mother or father pass gas. Nor any of my siblings save when they were very young children. I can remember when my brother was going through a phase of thinking it was funny to pass gas loudly, and my mother giving him a long talk on a walk about how polite people don't pass gas in front of others. He couldn't believe anyone else passed gas, he literally thought he was the only one, because that's how discreet everyone else was! My mom told him in a nice way that everyone does, but it's impolite, and needs to be kept private the way all bodily/bathroom functions do

I seriously dont understand how this is even an issue? Unless you're incontinent, why cant you regulate your bowels? Do you openly pass gas in work and other public settings? Why are people obsessed with this topic on here?

Here’s my problem: how can you stop it? It’s not bowels; it’s gas. Can you control when you pass gas?

Yes, unless there's extraordinary circumstances and then you can excuse yourself to go to a different room or bathroom. Do you pass gas openly in front of your coworkers or in a meeting?

I do my best to conceal it, but frankly, if I got up, it would probably come out. You have exceptional control over your flatulence.

Have you ever pooped your pants?

Yes, when I was a kid.

Don't you understand the situation in which you really need to pass gas and if you get up to do it elsewhere, it'll release itself? That's really not abnormal ...

NP that's super abnormal. I don't think I've ever had a fart come out that I didn't push on purpose.

My aunt used to be like you. She farted EVERYWHERE. It drove us crazy and she farted in dinners, in cars etc for decades. Turns out she had a colony of weird bacteria living in her stomach and they fixed it somehow.

[Anonymous]

I think you have to know your audience. I have toddler boys. In the bounce house the other day I held them down and farted on their faces. They definitely thought I was the best mom ever and oh so hilarious.

I have hot boxed dh in bed before and that was super funny too. But I don't do it often. He still thinks I'm super hot. I close the door when I poop, but not pee.

If you can't hold in a fart though, there's something medically wrong with you. It's not an involuntary function.