Casual relationships and STDs

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Don’t go to someone’s house to borrow their pencil sharpener and start giving them a hand job.

That is not a date. This is not considered romance and getting to know someone before embarking on a relationship.

This person will laugh at you and talk shit about you behind your back because they are an asshole and a shitty person even if you believe they are your friend. They are not.

With friends like that, you do not need enemies.

Yes your shit does stink so stop pretending it does not.

Cabinets? Eagle snafu?

[Anonymous]

I had lots of sex with different people in college and the first couple of years out of college

Use condoms and get tested regularly. I have never had an STD.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I had lots of sex with different people in college and the first couple of years out of college

Use condoms and get tested regularly. I have never had an STD.

Oh sorry will add never used condoms for oral.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I had lots of sex with different people in college and the first couple of years out of college

Use condoms and get tested regularly. I have never had an STD.

Oh sorry will add never used condoms for oral.

You don’t necessarily know yet that you didn’t get anything from unprotected oral. Throat cancer or polyps could show up years later.

[Anonymous]

Your risk for STDs increases with casual sex.

You are well within your right not to use protection and not to get tested.

But the risk doesn't go away because you perceive it to be more fun.

Unfortunately STDs, don't take that into consideration.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, I'm soon to be divorced, and I wonder about all this too. I dont know anyone who uses protection for oral! And yet it's the only way to be safe. But it also takes all the fun and sensation out of it, so then what's the point. I'm so confused. I feel like the "get tested every week! wear condoms!" people have never actually had casual sex?

how old are you and for how long were you married?

I use condoms for oral. Flavored. Why wouldnt I? I do it to help protect against STDs.

I'm 39, been with my soon to be ex since we were teens, only been with one other guy, so never had to deal with this...AND I'M TERRIFIED.

But as the PPs have expressed, what is even the fun of having sex if you can't feel it and you have to pause to set up your vaginal saran wrap tent? part of the experience is the taste and smell.

I'm not arguing that there's any other way to be safe! Don't get me wrong. I just don't think any of the people I know who date tons and have sex on date 3-5 are using condoms for oral or getting STD tests. Hence my confusion and apprehension.

First of all, you should get the HPV vaccine. You’re a good candidate for it since you haven’t had sex with someone different in decades. Or may be only one other person I can’t tell from your post.

Second, well, if you wanna put yourself at risk for STDs, then don’t use protection and don’t get STD testing first. How do you know what other people do? Do you have tons of single girlfriends have been navigating the dating world for two decades? Or are all your friends married people? It’s really normal to get std before having sex with a new partner and then still use condoms. Not getting STD testing and then also not using condoms is a really stupid thing to do. Also, plenty of people Date for longer than 3 to 5 dates before they have sex. If you wanna keep having unprotected sex without getting STD testing, stay married.

Ironically, I'm divorcing DH because he gave me an STI.

I think the disconnect here is quick casual hookups versus longer-term relationships. I've only had the latter. And hopefully I'll have another someday. But I might just want some fun NSA sex in the meantime...but dental dams and condoms in my mouth don't sound fun.

So, OP, my takeaway is you can have safe unsatisfying hookups or you can have unsafe fun hookups. :/

[Anonymous]

I've been divorced 4 years (separated 6), have had multiple short and medium term relationships...have always used comdoms for penetration, but never for oral. Yes I get tested regularly and before any unprotected sex with a new partner. Is there some risk with oral? Sure. But I've never had any requests for saran wrap or rubber for it.

[Anonymous]

Honestly it’s not that hard to find a monogamous FWB. Lots of guys out there are looking for something similar. No strings attached, regular sex. I never had issues finding that after my divorce. Communication is key and you have to be able to trust the person but I think there are a lot of people who don’t have the time or energy to devote to an actual relationship.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I had lots of sex with different people in college and the first couple of years out of college

Use condoms and get tested regularly. I have never had an STD.

You is lucky.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Honestly it’s not that hard to find a monogamous FWB. Lots of guys out there are looking for something similar. No strings attached, regular sex. I never had issues finding that after my divorce. Communication is key and you have to be able to trust the person but I think there are a lot of people who don’t have the time or energy to devote to an actual relationship.

I’m in that kind of relationship right now. Neither of us has the time for a full on relationship so we get together every two weeks. We both got tested and we agreed to be monogamous and we trust each other. We do use condoms for PIV but not for oral as the sensation would not be the same. Right now this is perfect for me because I’m having the best sex of my life with NSA.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:NP do people really use condoms and dental dams for oral?

No, they just profess it on here.

[Anonymous]

There are risks associated with sex. Test so you can catch anything before it develops into something seriously or pass something on unknowingly. In my experience most people don't use protection for oral. But you should make decisions based on your risk tolerance and make sure to communicate clearly to your partners what your tolerances are.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I had lots of sex with different people in college and the first couple of years out of college

Use condoms and get tested regularly. I have never had an STD.

This. Life is about evaluating risks and benefits. The vast majority of young people are just using condoms and that's it. That's what they were taught in sex ed class -- condoms, condoms, condoms.

I'm male and I had a very wild twenties.. over 100 partners, multiple countries, and I'd say 10% of the time we didn't use any protection at all (blame alcohol). I got chlamydia 3 times (easily treated with antibiotics) and that's it. Despite leading an extremely risky lifestyle.

Looking back on it, I'd do it again, but with condoms always.

No one is using dental dams and condoms for oral, except sex workers.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:There are risks associated with sex. Test so you can catch anything before it develops into something seriously or pass something on unknowingly. In my experience most people don't use protection for oral. But you should make decisions based on your risk tolerance and make sure to communicate clearly to your partners what your tolerances are.

There are? Who knew

[Anonymous]

After reading this it is so nice to be happily married with a very active sex life. No tests, no condoms, no dental dams just care free sex a few times a week.