Tutor issue - I am feeling a little "salty"

[Anonymous]

Is the tutor religious? They might think that something your child is watching is demonic. I wouldn’t be upset about it. Just nod, say thanks for letting me know! And move on. It’s probably not personal.
- source, child of religious parents who wouldn’t let me eat Lucky Charms because they are “evil”

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Is the tutor religious? They might think that something your child is watching is demonic. I wouldn’t be upset about it. Just nod, say thanks for letting me know! And move on. It’s probably not personal.
- source, child of religious parents who wouldn’t let me eat Lucky Charms because they are “evil”

LOL That is a new one to me.

I wouldn’t want someone spending time alone with my child who believed that some of my family’s choices are actually evil. Who knows what else they would object to?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Is the tutor religious? They might think that something your child is watching is demonic. I wouldn’t be upset about it. Just nod, say thanks for letting me know! And move on. It’s probably not personal.
- source, child of religious parents who wouldn’t let me eat Lucky Charms because they are “evil”

I thought religious too. - parents who thought smurfs were demonic.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Another experienced tutor here. Like 95% of my job is figuring out how to connect to a kid, use their interests to help drive the session, use engaging games to keep a kid’s attention, have a TON of back up plans in case something isn’t working or the kid is having a bad day. 6 year olds are tough, but that’s what I’m being paid to do. It’s not all about the subject matter.
Please, please do not take away things if a kid behaves badly in a session. It just makes them more resentful of tutoring, and makes it harder for anyone to work with them in the future. If the kid is acting out, some of that is on the tutor because she or he is not managing the session well.

The bad behavior is something the parent needs to address, especially online. A tutor is to teach, not deal with behavior. It sounds like mom/dad are not participating and that is a big part of the issue.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Is the tutor religious? They might think that something your child is watching is demonic. I wouldn’t be upset about it. Just nod, say thanks for letting me know! And move on. It’s probably not personal.
- source, child of religious parents who wouldn’t let me eat Lucky Charms because they are “evil”

There enough nutty people and bad tutors that I would pay attention to the red flag that has been presented. This tutor has left their lane and doesn't understand the disability your child has. I say this as a parent of a kid with disabilities who is in college.

My child has had years of private ot, speech therapy, reading support. Through the years, I've hired many tutors. One made my kid with disabilities pray before the tutoring session. He told me he could "cure" my kid of dysgraphia after they'd been with him for a month. He lied about his experience when I interviewed him - he didn't know what dysgraphia was. School staff gave him glowing reviews. In the short time he tutored my kid, he made him feel terrible. I had no idea until his sibling told me what was happening.

I had a tutor who approached me with a similar conversation about my kid with disabilities. He supposedly had lots of experience with this population and had great reviews from teachers I knew. Tutor was bothered that my kid would scribble or look elsewhere when he gave him instruction. Clearly tutor knows nothing about adhd. That tutor spent several sessions making kid write and erase again and again.

One of the teachers at a private school my kids attended works on the side as a tutor and college consultant. She has a masters in spec ed and has worked at this private school forever so she looks good on paper. She also believes disabilities are caused by the devil and sin. She is a terrible teacher and there is no way she is an effective tutor. The parents at the private school would leave the school if their kid was in her class.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This has nothing to do with the tutor, but super smart kids who want to read mature material need a lot of curatorial help from their parents in picking out what to read and watch. They may be smart and interested, but that doesn't mean they're mature enough to handle it or understand it. It can damage them to be exposed to things that are not appropriate for their emotional and psychological age. So finding appropriate material for smart kids is a challenge but shielding them is still important, even if they're smart. FYI.

So ironic that you’d post this about choosing appropriate reading material on this thread where OP has been really clear that she is choosing media appropriately for her child.

OP, I say this as an experienced dyslexia tutor. Your child deserves a tutor who enjoys and engages with him. Find someone new.

Where are you located pp?

I am in Montgomery County, but if you’re asking if I’m taking new clients, I am not. I will be teaching online full time this fall and helping my DH homeschool my own three kids, so I am not currently tutoring.

That was exactly the reason But maybe you know someone in NoVa you can recommend?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Is the tutor religious? They might think that something your child is watching is demonic. I wouldn’t be upset about it. Just nod, say thanks for letting me know! And move on. It’s probably not personal.
- source, child of religious parents who wouldn’t let me eat Lucky Charms because they are “evil”

I am not sure how deep religiously she is, but let's just say she is part of a Christian religious and has many children - all homeschooled. I have nothing against that to tell the truth (her private life, I don't care about), my issue was only pertaining a criticism on my parenting. Well, more than a criticism as it also plain out recommend what I should and should not be doing/allowing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Is the tutor religious? They might think that something your child is watching is demonic. I wouldn’t be upset about it. Just nod, say thanks for letting me know! And move on. It’s probably not personal.
- source, child of religious parents who wouldn’t let me eat Lucky Charms because they are “evil”

I am not sure how deep religiously she is, but let's just say she is part of a Christian religious and has many children - all homeschooled. I have nothing against that to tell the truth (her private life, I don't care about), my issue was only pertaining a criticism on my parenting. Well, more than a criticism as it also plain out recommend what I should and should not be doing/allowing.

*part of Christian religion/denomination

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Is the tutor religious? They might think that something your child is watching is demonic. I wouldn’t be upset about it. Just nod, say thanks for letting me know! And move on. It’s probably not personal.
- source, child of religious parents who wouldn’t let me eat Lucky Charms because they are “evil”

There enough nutty people and bad tutors that I would pay attention to the red flag that has been presented. This tutor has left their lane and doesn't understand the disability your child has. I say this as a parent of a kid with disabilities who is in college.

My child has had years of private ot, speech therapy, reading support. Through the years, I've hired many tutors. One made my kid with disabilities pray before the tutoring session. He told me he could "cure" my kid of dysgraphia after they'd been with him for a month. He lied about his experience when I interviewed him - he didn't know what dysgraphia was. School staff gave him glowing reviews. In the short time he tutored my kid, he made him feel terrible. I had no idea until his sibling told me what was happening.

I had a tutor who approached me with a similar conversation about my kid with disabilities. He supposedly had lots of experience with this population and had great reviews from teachers I knew. Tutor was bothered that my kid would scribble or look elsewhere when he gave him instruction. Clearly tutor knows nothing about adhd. That tutor spent several sessions making kid write and erase again and again.

One of the teachers at a private school my kids attended works on the side as a tutor and college consultant. She has a masters in spec ed and has worked at this private school forever so she looks good on paper. She also believes disabilities are caused by the devil and sin. She is a terrible teacher and there is no way she is an effective tutor. The parents at the private school would leave the school if their kid was in her class.

If you were monitoring the therapies early on you would have known and stopped it. I don't get how parents aren't paying attention when these sessions happen.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Another experienced tutor here. Like 95% of my job is figuring out how to connect to a kid, use their interests to help drive the session, use engaging games to keep a kid’s attention, have a TON of back up plans in case something isn’t working or the kid is having a bad day. 6 year olds are tough, but that’s what I’m being paid to do. It’s not all about the subject matter.
Please, please do not take away things if a kid behaves badly in a session. It just makes them more resentful of tutoring, and makes it harder for anyone to work with them in the future. If the kid is acting out, some of that is on the tutor because she or he is not managing the session well.

The bad behavior is something the parent needs to address, especially online. A tutor is to teach, not deal with behavior. It sounds like mom/dad are not participating and that is a big part of the issue.

It is in person pp. And as I said previously, I do support her by admonishing my child when there is a complain (sometimes downright punishing by taking away stuff); by reminding my child to listen/focus and cooperate and by doing the extra activities she deems essential - like reading rhymes.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Is the tutor religious? They might think that something your child is watching is demonic. I wouldn’t be upset about it. Just nod, say thanks for letting me know! And move on. It’s probably not personal.
- source, child of religious parents who wouldn’t let me eat Lucky Charms because they are “evil”

There enough nutty people and bad tutors that I would pay attention to the red flag that has been presented. This tutor has left their lane and doesn't understand the disability your child has. I say this as a parent of a kid with disabilities who is in college.

My child has had years of private ot, speech therapy, reading support. Through the years, I've hired many tutors. One made my kid with disabilities pray before the tutoring session. He told me he could "cure" my kid of dysgraphia after they'd been with him for a month. He lied about his experience when I interviewed him - he didn't know what dysgraphia was. School staff gave him glowing reviews. In the short time he tutored my kid, he made him feel terrible. I had no idea until his sibling told me what was happening.

I had a tutor who approached me with a similar conversation about my kid with disabilities. He supposedly had lots of experience with this population and had great reviews from teachers I knew. Tutor was bothered that my kid would scribble or look elsewhere when he gave him instruction. Clearly tutor knows nothing about adhd. That tutor spent several sessions making kid write and erase again and again.

One of the teachers at a private school my kids attended works on the side as a tutor and college consultant. She has a masters in spec ed and has worked at this private school forever so she looks good on paper. She also believes disabilities are caused by the devil and sin. She is a terrible teacher and there is no way she is an effective tutor. The parents at the private school would leave the school if their kid was in her class.

If you were monitoring the therapies early on you would have known and stopped it. I don't get how parents aren't paying attention when these sessions happen.

You know, I am kind of new to this as my older child never needed a private tutoring session in her life. I though my presence would only hinder her connection and relationship with her tutor (we all know children usually behave better when away from parents). Plus, I am not even sure I am allowed to watch it - I have never asked to tell the truth. I assumed I was not, since I go to the tutor's home.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op,

It would be a mistake to throw the baby out with the bath water.

This tutor seems effective, but said something that bothered you b/c you took it as a criticism of your parenting. The tutor offered advice. Take it or not.

FWIW, I deleted YouTube off our apps b/c it would play inappropriate videos. They pop up amidst seemingly innocuous videos about Thomas the train.

What did the OP say to suggest that the tutor is effective? Part of effectiveness is working with the child's interests to hold attention and build rapport.

She’s been seeing the tutor for 6 weeks. Why would you continue that long with an ineffective tutor.

I think the op needs to develop a thicker skin. The tutor made suggestions. Follow them or not.

I also don’t think op is paying enough attention to what her kid is accessing online. Happens to the best of us.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
One of the teachers at a private school my kids attended works on the side as a tutor and college consultant. She has a masters in spec ed and has worked at this private school forever so she looks good on paper. She also believes disabilities are caused by the devil and sin. She is a terrible teacher and there is no way she is an effective tutor. The parents at the private school would leave the school if their kid was in her class.

Is this in the DC area? Please tell us which school it is. We are about to look for schools again for my dyslexic, dysgraphia 6th grader. I really don’t want to end up at another crazy place like her last school.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Is the tutor religious? They might think that something your child is watching is demonic. I wouldn’t be upset about it. Just nod, say thanks for letting me know! And move on. It’s probably not personal.
- source, child of religious parents who wouldn’t let me eat Lucky Charms because they are “evil”

There enough nutty people and bad tutors that I would pay attention to the red flag that has been presented. This tutor has left their lane and doesn't understand the disability your child has. I say this as a parent of a kid with disabilities who is in college.

My child has had years of private ot, speech therapy, reading support. Through the years, I've hired many tutors. One made my kid with disabilities pray before the tutoring session. He told me he could "cure" my kid of dysgraphia after they'd been with him for a month. He lied about his experience when I interviewed him - he didn't know what dysgraphia was. School staff gave him glowing reviews. In the short time he tutored my kid, he made him feel terrible. I had no idea until his sibling told me what was happening.

I had a tutor who approached me with a similar conversation about my kid with disabilities. He supposedly had lots of experience with this population and had great reviews from teachers I knew. Tutor was bothered that my kid would scribble or look elsewhere when he gave him instruction. Clearly tutor knows nothing about adhd. That tutor spent several sessions making kid write and erase again and again.

One of the teachers at a private school my kids attended works on the side as a tutor and college consultant. She has a masters in spec ed and has worked at this private school forever so she looks good on paper. She also believes disabilities are caused by the devil and sin. She is a terrible teacher and there is no way she is an effective tutor. The parents at the private school would leave the school if their kid was in her class.

If you were monitoring the therapies early on you would have known and stopped it. I don't get how parents aren't paying attention when these sessions happen.

You are mistaken and I wasn't clear. These weren't therapy sessions. My kids therapy sessions were fine. I'm referring to educational tutors who knew nothing about kids with disabilities but had excellent references from parents and staff at my public school. Also my kids were in middle - high school when these incidents happened. I did not stay for those tutoring sessions but the guy who made my kid rewrite and erase was fired the day of the session it happened. The guy who had my kid pray was dropped after he'd been tutoring for a few months. He didn't start with the weirdness when my kids started working with him. I'm sure all of this makes you feel better that you're a superior parent, but you're not.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This has nothing to do with the tutor, but super smart kids who want to read mature material need a lot of curatorial help from their parents in picking out what to read and watch. They may be smart and interested, but that doesn't mean they're mature enough to handle it or understand it. It can damage them to be exposed to things that are not appropriate for their emotional and psychological age. So finding appropriate material for smart kids is a challenge but shielding them is still important, even if they're smart. FYI.

So ironic that you’d post this about choosing appropriate reading material on this thread where OP has been really clear that she is choosing media appropriately for her child.

OP, I say this as an experienced dyslexia tutor. Your child deserves a tutor who enjoys and engages with him. Find someone new.

Where are you located pp?

I am in Montgomery County, but if you’re asking if I’m taking new clients, I am not. I will be teaching online full time this fall and helping my DH homeschool my own three kids, so I am not currently tutoring.

That was exactly the reason But maybe you know someone in NoVa you can recommend?

I'm afraid I don't.