Tutor issue - I am feeling a little "salty"

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Op,

It would be a mistake to throw the baby out with the bath water.

This tutor seems effective, but said something that bothered you b/c you took it as a criticism of your parenting. The tutor offered advice. Take it or not.

FWIW, I deleted YouTube off our apps b/c it would play inappropriate videos. They pop up amidst seemingly innocuous videos about Thomas the train.

What did the OP say to suggest that the tutor is effective? Part of effectiveness is working with the child's interests to hold attention and build rapport.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
It’s only been six weeks so they can’t have a strong connection. Find a new tutor.

+1. Sounds like she doesn't enjoy your child. Not good, child will pick it up.

[Anonymous]

This has nothing to do with the tutor, but super smart kids who want to read mature material need a lot of curatorial help from their parents in picking out what to read and watch. They may be smart and interested, but that doesn't mean they're mature enough to handle it or understand it. It can damage them to be exposed to things that are not appropriate for their emotional and psychological age. So finding appropriate material for smart kids is a challenge but shielding them is still important, even if they're smart. FYI.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This has nothing to do with the tutor, but super smart kids who want to read mature material need a lot of curatorial help from their parents in picking out what to read and watch. They may be smart and interested, but that doesn't mean they're mature enough to handle it or understand it. It can damage them to be exposed to things that are not appropriate for their emotional and psychological age. So finding appropriate material for smart kids is a challenge but shielding them is still important, even if they're smart. FYI.

So ironic that you’d post this about choosing appropriate reading material on this thread where OP has been really clear that she is choosing media appropriately for her child.

OP, I say this as an experienced dyslexia tutor. Your child deserves a tutor who enjoys and engages with him. Find someone new.

[Anonymous]

As a mom of a child with multiple learning differences, find a new tutor. We ‘ve had good and bad and like a PP I now feel much more confident in replacing the ones that aren’t a fit. The good ones can build rapport with your child, will make any learning into games ( especially with a 6 year old) and make it fun for them. They also know when enough is enough for the child and will change the approach. One recent thing I have learned, just because they have all of the needed credentials, doesn’t mean they know how to connect with your child. I agree that when you find one with both, hold on to that tutor. That person is simply invaluable. Good luck and always trust your instincts. You care more than anyone about your child’s best interests.

[Anonymous]

Just want to chime in that although the YouTube videos may be appropriate, sometime the ads that come on are not.
My 5 year old was watching some animation of Superman driving different cars and an ad for the movie Saw came on.

I have no advice about the tutor. Maybe tell her that you watch the videos alongside your child to verify the content.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This has nothing to do with the tutor, but super smart kids who want to read mature material need a lot of curatorial help from their parents in picking out what to read and watch. They may be smart and interested, but that doesn't mean they're mature enough to handle it or understand it. It can damage them to be exposed to things that are not appropriate for their emotional and psychological age. So finding appropriate material for smart kids is a challenge but shielding them is still important, even if they're smart. FYI.

So ironic that you’d post this about choosing appropriate reading material on this thread where OP has been really clear that she is choosing media appropriately for her child.

OP, I say this as an experienced dyslexia tutor. Your child deserves a tutor who enjoys and engages with him. Find someone new.

Well of course she's saying that. A tutor, who we have to assume has some insight into the issue, suggested she is not. From her post, it's clear to me that she is clueless about how the material she may be giving her child to read may affect them adversely, even though they are able to consume it. See what I'm sayin', PP?

[Anonymous]

You are paying for individual tutoring and your child is refusing to participate and instead insisting on drawing, most likely things he watched on YouTube. Of course the tutor is concerned. You need to tell your child if he doesn't participate and follow the tutor's directions he can't watch YouTube.

[Anonymous]

If child is drawing, perfect way to engage the child, can learn through drawing just as well as listening or writing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This has nothing to do with the tutor, but super smart kids who want to read mature material need a lot of curatorial help from their parents in picking out what to read and watch. They may be smart and interested, but that doesn't mean they're mature enough to handle it or understand it. It can damage them to be exposed to things that are not appropriate for their emotional and psychological age. So finding appropriate material for smart kids is a challenge but shielding them is still important, even if they're smart. FYI.

So ironic that you’d post this about choosing appropriate reading material on this thread where OP has been really clear that she is choosing media appropriately for her child.

OP, I say this as an experienced dyslexia tutor. Your child deserves a tutor who enjoys and engages with him. Find someone new.

Where are you located pp?

[Anonymous]

Roblox and minecraft are causing the issue and the tutor is right. They are not appropriate for a 6 year old especially unsupervised. If they are playing with other kids the language and behavior can get pretty bad too.

However, you need a new tutor as this doesn't sound like a good fit. And, you need to sit with your child during the tutoring session and make sure they are paying attention.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think you need another tutor. It sounds like your 6 year old has a particular learning challenge and that part of that challenge relates to attention (plus, 6 year olds all have trouble focusing). A tutor experienced in learning disabilities and in that age group would know how to teach through play and teach in small chunks. For example, when my 8 year old was getting reading tutoring, they would play a game and before each turn had to identify the sound of a letter or blend or whatever they were working on.

If your tutor is complaining about your 6 year old's focus, she doesn't have the necessary skills to deal with it. And that's leaving aside her views on your child's video watching, which is none of your business.

My child is now 13, and we've gone through many tutors and therapists. I've gotten better and replacing the ones who don't work for us. It's a skill.

This. I cannot imagine an experienced tutor complaining about a 6 y/o behavior to the parent. That is part of the job, figuring out their attention span and how to get them to engage. The criticism of the video watching is just an extension of that: she is not competent to work with this age group and is looking for places to place blame.

Source: my kid has gotten lots of group and individual therapy and tutoring from different kinds of therapists (OT, PT, social skills, reading, writing, and speech language). None of them expect the kids to sit there quietly, ready to absorb their adult wisdom; the therapist is constantly engaging, redirecting, rewarding, etc. It's exhausting to watch, but also amazing. If a kid really can't get anything out of a type of session, they don't blame the kid or the parents. They have an adult conversation with the parent about what other kind of service might be better for the child.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You are paying for individual tutoring and your child is refusing to participate and instead insisting on drawing, most likely things he watched on YouTube. Of course the tutor is concerned. You need to tell your child if he doesn't participate and follow the tutor's directions he can't watch YouTube.

OP needs to sit in on the sessions to help her child get through them and to learn to work with her child to supplement with what the tutor is doing.

[Anonymous]

Another experienced tutor here. Like 95% of my job is figuring out how to connect to a kid, use their interests to help drive the session, use engaging games to keep a kid’s attention, have a TON of back up plans in case something isn’t working or the kid is having a bad day. 6 year olds are tough, but that’s what I’m being paid to do. It’s not all about the subject matter.
Please, please do not take away things if a kid behaves badly in a session. It just makes them more resentful of tutoring, and makes it harder for anyone to work with them in the future. If the kid is acting out, some of that is on the tutor because she or he is not managing the session well.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This has nothing to do with the tutor, but super smart kids who want to read mature material need a lot of curatorial help from their parents in picking out what to read and watch. They may be smart and interested, but that doesn't mean they're mature enough to handle it or understand it. It can damage them to be exposed to things that are not appropriate for their emotional and psychological age. So finding appropriate material for smart kids is a challenge but shielding them is still important, even if they're smart. FYI.

So ironic that you’d post this about choosing appropriate reading material on this thread where OP has been really clear that she is choosing media appropriately for her child.

OP, I say this as an experienced dyslexia tutor. Your child deserves a tutor who enjoys and engages with him. Find someone new.

Where are you located pp?

I am in Montgomery County, but if you’re asking if I’m taking new clients, I am not. I will be teaching online full time this fall and helping my DH homeschool my own three kids, so I am not currently tutoring.