In-laws don't call on DS's birthday, and DH is annoyed

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
Some people have a wonderful life and STILL find ways to be resentful.

You know, OP, some of us have REAL problems. I have a friend who had a relapse of his cancer. I myself had a relapse of my chronic autoimmune disorder. My husband is so underemployed he's basically out of a job right now - no income. I have a child with special needs who will need intense supervision during distance learning.

And you come on here and whine about not receiving birthday calls, when your kid already has gifts and cards?!?

I'm not sure why this thread pertains to you?

[Anonymous]

For those who do not acknowledge a family member's birthday: What are you busy doing? Is it that you do not know the date, think of it and forget, think of it and decide it's not important...
I truly don't get this behavior.

[Anonymous]

DH's parents did acknowledge your son's birthday.


As for his siblings, if it's such a problem for him he should address it with them, but before he does i hope he has acknowledged each and every one of his nieces/nephews birthdays without being late.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:DH's parents did acknowledge your son's birthday.


As for his siblings, if it's such a problem for him he should address it with them, but before he does i hope he has acknowledged each and every one of his nieces/nephews birthdays without being late.

OP here, he does - with video calls, cards, and gifts. So, it hurts.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:DH's parents did acknowledge your son's birthday.


As for his siblings, if it's such a problem for him he should address it with them, but before he does i hope he has acknowledged each and every one of his nieces/nephews birthdays without being late.

As a grandparent, I would relish an excuse like a birthday to call a grandson!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
Some people have a wonderful life and STILL find ways to be resentful.

You know, OP, some of us have REAL problems. I have a friend who had a relapse of his cancer. I myself had a relapse of my chronic autoimmune disorder. My husband is so underemployed he's basically out of a job right now - no income. I have a child with special needs who will need intense supervision during distance learning.

And you come on here and whine about not receiving birthday calls, when your kid already has gifts and cards?!?

I'm not sure why this thread pertains to you?

Because anyone is free to opine on a thread, PP. And because OP is in dire need of perspective.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DH's parents did acknowledge your son's birthday.


As for his siblings, if it's such a problem for him he should address it with them, but before he does i hope he has acknowledged each and every one of his nieces/nephews birthdays without being late.

OP here, he does - with video calls, cards, and gifts. So, it hurts.[/quote

Virtue is its own reward.

I've got the feeling OP and husband are very immature people.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:DS just turned 13! Big deal birthday! My parents FaceTimed him, both of my brothers also Zoomed with him, sent cards and gifts, etc. He felt acknowledged on his bday. He is the oldest grandkid on this side of the family which may make some difference. They asked about his day, etc., just normal family stuff.

DH's family made not a peep on his birthday. Grandparents sent a gift last week and did text. His siblings completely forgot/didn't acknowledge it at all, despite being on a family text chain where they share tons of random photos etc. I'm used to this because it happens every year and didn't expect this one to be much different, but for some reason this year DH is really annoyed (he said this to me privately, did not voice in front of DS), and DS commented, "Hey, how come XX and XX" never called? He noticed it too! That makes me feel sad for him.

I think DS doesn't much care but DH is sad. He has always felt his family is out of the loop and not interested and for some reason this is hitting him hard. WWYD? I have said to his parents before that it'd be great to hear from or see them more, but...never happens.

Okay so if they have never sent a gift or called why would the expectation be different this year? Now if they acknowledge other nieces and nephews birthday , but ignore your son's, or ignore him in other ways you have a problem. But one DH should address.

If you want more contact with them, then you and DH have to initiate it. you can't say I want to see you more, but then expect them to do all the planning.

As for family text xhains, I largely ignore them, and maybe check in once a week, it's usually just rambling nonsense.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
Some people have a wonderful life and STILL find ways to be resentful.

You know, OP, some of us have REAL problems. I have a friend who had a relapse of his cancer. I myself had a relapse of my chronic autoimmune disorder. My husband is so underemployed he's basically out of a job right now - no income. I have a child with special needs who will need intense supervision during distance learning.

And you come on here and whine about not receiving birthday calls, when your kid already has gifts and cards?!?

I'm not sure why this thread pertains to you?

Because anyone is free to opine on a thread, PP. And because OP is in dire need of perspective.

Not really? I don't see where the OP said their issues were worse than cancer or special needs? Context thanks.

[Anonymous]

Honestly the bottom line is that some people do the right thing. Some don't (and then maybe defend it online).

[Anonymous]

This is peak DCUM! Defending not celebrating a kid's bday.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Honestly the bottom line is that some people do the right thing. Some don't (and then maybe defend it online).

No. Some people celebrate birthday's differently. I have always called my nieces and nephews on their birthdays, most of the time it didn't seem like they cared. I have a sibling that never calls the kids or sends gifts etc. the kids still like him a lot. As a child I had one Aunt that always called, my other aunts and uncles never did. One set of grandparents sent cards until I was maybe 10 or so, the other never did. I love them all and have no long lasting issues.

If it bother's OP's husband so much he should discuss it with his siblings.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DH's parents did acknowledge your son's birthday.


As for his siblings, if it's such a problem for him he should address it with them, but before he does i hope he has acknowledged each and every one of his nieces/nephews birthdays without being late.

As a grandparent, I would relish an excuse like a birthday to call a grandson!

That's you.

[Anonymous]

I feel like something is missing from the story.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is peak DCUM! Defending not celebrating a kid's bday.

No, the 'peak DCUM' is getting pissed because someone didn't 'celebrate' according to your standard.