In-laws don't call on DS's birthday, and DH is annoyed

[Anonymous]

Oh for gods sakes. They texted and sent a gift. Get over yourself and your son. The world does not need to revolve around a teenager's brithday and the sooner he learns that the better.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Entitled attitude.

A lot of people acknowledged your son's birthday, and the grandparents sent a gift. Some people forgot, which is totally fine. It doesn't mean they don't love him.

My BILs don't remember my kids' birthdays and I don't remember theirs, even though we're fond of each other.

Well, I don't think it's "entitled" to remember a child on his birthday; I think it's just thoughtful and nice. More to the point, if someone is sad about it, is it worth bringing up to the family? I think what makes it worse is that DH always remembers theirs but feels he doesn't get the same back.

They DID remember. They sent a gift!!! Have you had your child send a thank you card? That is the appropriate reaction to sending a birthday gift. Not, "Oh, they didnt also call? Poor son."

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The world does not revolve around DS. His parents already acknowledged bday. I never expected (or hardly heard of) all aunts and uncles must acknowledge bdays. You are raising a snowflake.

That's so sad! I think it's the norm.

I agree. There are a lot of snowflakes running around.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Oh for gods sakes. They texted and sent a gift. Get over yourself and your son. The world does not need to revolve around a teenager's brithday and the sooner he learns that the better.

Yikes. Sounds like someone needs a slice of bday cake Seriously, nobody is saying the day needs to revolve around them, but the fact that acknowledging a kid's bday is even up for debate is weird. Although maybe an anonymous internet board is a small sample size...

[Anonymous]

Why are you trying to fix this for your DH? It's his family and he's the one who's upset. Let him manage those relationships. If he isn't willing to say anything to them, then there's nothing more to do.

Families handle birthdays and holidays differently. Just because your side does one thing doesn't mean DH's side should do the same. Sounds like DH's family doesn't make a big deal out of birthdays. Time to teach your kid it has nothing to do with him and is not a reflection of how they feel about him - different families do things differently.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:In my family aunts/uncles/grandparents do not call or text on birthdays. Most do not send cards and we do not send their cards either.

Same here! Thank god. Don’t know if I could deal with such needy pettiness.

Why don't you send them cards? I bet it would make their day, so thoughtful. Why not do it next year?

Because no one wants a card. I know I don’t. Why don’t you send no cards next year? I bet it would make their day!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Entitled attitude.

A lot of people acknowledged your son's birthday, and the grandparents sent a gift. Some people forgot, which is totally fine. It doesn't mean they don't love him.

My BILs don't remember my kids' birthdays and I don't remember theirs, even though we're fond of each other.

Well, I don't think it's "entitled" to remember a child on his birthday; I think it's just thoughtful and nice. More to the point, if someone is sad about it, is it worth bringing up to the family? I think what makes it worse is that DH always remembers theirs but feels he doesn't get the same back.

They DID remember. They sent a gift!!! Have you had your child send a thank you card? That is the appropriate reaction to sending a birthday gift. Not, "Oh, they didnt also call? Poor son."

Personally I can't imagine not wanting to know the details of my grandchild's birthday and to hear their voice on their day, but, everyone is different. It sounds like the issue is more the sibs who forgot.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:So, they did send a gift and text last week for his birthday? Your DH needs to stop being dramatic and acting like they clmpletely ignored/forgot your DS. Your kid won't care either way because like you said he felt loved on his birthday. That's all that matters. I think it's incredibly odd to expect people outside immediate family to acknowledge birthday's.

+1 Did DS call, text or send a card to say thank you for the gift? Grandparents did their part and the ball is in your court. About this family text chain - did your DH send a text asking for time to set up a birthday call/facetime for DS? Or should they remember because a text chain exists but you shouldn't have to do anything to try to get the desired birthday experience for your son?

Agree that this is pretty entitled behavior. Birthdays are fun and special for the immediate family but I don't call every extended family member on their birthdays, nor do they call me. DS got many calls, texts, and presents and instead of being grateful for all of that attention, he pointed out the few people who didn't call. Be careful that you're not raising a Dursley.

[Anonymous]

13 is a big deal birthday? Who knew?

[Anonymous]

Did your son acknowledge receiving the gift? This is a perfect opportunity to teach your son that people celebrate in different ways.

And...it seems awfully petty to call someone out for not calling you when they sent you a text message AND sent you a gift. Just saying.

[Anonymous]

We all love each other, and don't send card.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why are you trying to fix this for your DH? It's his family and he's the one who's upset. Let him manage those relationships. If he isn't willing to say anything to them, then there's nothing more to do.

Families handle birthdays and holidays differently. Just because your side does one thing doesn't mean DH's side should do the same. Sounds like DH's family doesn't make a big deal out of birthdays. Time to teach your kid it has nothing to do with him and is not a reflection of how they feel about him - different families do things differently.

+1 to all of this. And who knew 13 was such a milestone birthday.

[Anonymous]

Different families do different things

[Anonymous]

I mean, they sent a gift, and they sent a text. They acknowledged it.

[Anonymous]

Some people have a wonderful life and STILL find ways to be resentful.

You know, OP, some of us have REAL problems. I have a friend who had a relapse of his cancer. I myself had a relapse of my chronic autoimmune disorder. My husband is so underemployed he's basically out of a job right now - no income. I have a child with special needs who will need intense supervision during distance learning.

And you come on here and whine about not receiving birthday calls, when your kid already has gifts and cards?!?