Golf Widows

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, he's a high earner and you were his trophy wife. What did you expect? I'm sure he was like this before you married him. His golf trophies are just as important to him as his human trophies. You knew this going in.

That's not really fair - I think very few golfers are in it for trophies. It's good exercise if you walk, it's in the fresh air, and it's fun times with his buddies. People need hobbies and friends away from their spouses. The problem here is that the spouse doesn't have her own stuff to do.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You need to find something to do!

She has found something else to do - making up stuff on the Internet.

[Anonymous]

Learn to play golf.

[Anonymous]

um ... i didn't;\'t see how old your kids are but you can take them to the pool, and take tennis or golf lessons with them?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Learn to play golf.

My husband took up golf late in life and he too would disappear on weekends but our kids were old enough where it wasn’t a problem. I took it up a few years ago and now we play together on Sundays and he swears he really enjoys it.

[Anonymous]

1. It is highly offensive to actual widows when people call themselves golf/ffotballl/bowling widows.

2. My brother is like this, except he plays nearly every day. He is a narcissist and divorced.

Have you ever tried playing with him? What does he do in the winter?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:1. It is highly offensive to actual widows when people call themselves golf/ffotballl/bowling widows.

2. My brother is like this, except he plays nearly every day. He is a narcissist and divorced.

Have you ever tried playing with him? What does he do in the winter?

Are you a widow? I am and it’s not offensive to me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:1. It is highly offensive to actual widows when people call themselves golf/ffotballl/bowling widows.

2. My brother is like this, except he plays nearly every day. He is a narcissist and divorced.

Have you ever tried playing with him? What does he do in the winter?

Are you a widow? I am and it’s not offensive to me.

Yes, I am.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:1. It is highly offensive to actual widows when people call themselves golf/ffotballl/bowling widows.

2. My brother is like this, except he plays nearly every day. He is a narcissist and divorced.

Have you ever tried playing with him? What does he do in the winter?

Shhhh... Next thing you know, our Princess OP will be calling herself a “weekend single mom.”

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Hi! Can't resurrect the old thread on this so starting a new one....

UGH! My husband is married to his handicap. All our holiday weekends, including this past 4th, revolve around golf. Early close on Thursday, straight to the driving range then "socially distant beers" at his best friends house. Friday 36 holes, then beers with his golf buddies. Saturday sat around and grilled what I bought for dinner, no holiday memory making or planning. Sunday morning early round of golf then took our DS to play 9 in the afternoon. This is psycho right?!
I am a SAHM and he says I have fun every day doing what I love, spending time with our children, and shop and drink rose starting at 3:30 (all true!) but that's not an excuse for him to basically just show up for me and the kids when it's convenient for him? He can't figure out how to plan us a family vacation or activity, but can plan a golf trip with friends months in advance, scheduled perfectly, and weekends at his parents. I am SO OVER IT! Gave him hell all night last night. He makes a lot of money and I'm living a dream life, but feel very jealous that he is having so much fun, and has got "it all figured out!". I kind of feel chumped.
I need to figure out a way to make this work. Any advice?

You chose to hitch on to someone with a plan. Part of this is gender-specific (in that men are more able to have kids ANd a fulfilling career. Women struggle to do both.)

BUT, if you just put your life on auto-pilot, following the well worn path of least resistance, don't blame him. He had a dream and achieved it.

I would not be happy with the small portion of his life he gives you, but then again I would not trade my professional aspirations to clean a house and raise children.

Marriage counselling (or mediation) might be in order to hash out what you both want/expect/need from each other. His preferences are clear. YOu need to figure yours out and trade off some of your comfort/dependency perhaps...because you can't necessarily say "take me seriously" but I want you to take on all of the adult responsibilities when it comes to keeping us fed/clothed/housed, etc. You have made him king, and he is acting like it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Learn to play golf.

My husband took up golf late in life and he too would disappear on weekends but our kids were old enough where it wasn’t a problem. I took it up a few years ago and now we play together on Sundays and he swears he really enjoys it.

There's no way he enjoys playing golf with you if it has cut into his golf time with his friends.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Learn to play golf.

My husband took up golf late in life and he too would disappear on weekends but our kids were old enough where it wasn’t a problem. I took it up a few years ago and now we play together on Sundays and he swears he really enjoys it.

I assume he still gets to play on Saturdays with his friends?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Learn to play golf.

My husband took up golf late in life and he too would disappear on weekends but our kids were old enough where it wasn’t a problem. I took it up a few years ago and now we play together on Sundays and he swears he really enjoys it.

I assume he still gets to play on Saturdays with his friends?

He’s retired so he plays 2-3 times a week with his friends. I’m his bonus round and I make it worth his while!

[Anonymous]

I’m sorry, OP.
Married men with young families should not spend hours every weekend playing golf, hanging out with friends, etc. They should be with their wives raising their children.
The fact that many posters think that it’s ok to opt out of parenting because he makes a lot of money makes me kind of sick.

[Anonymous]

Be glad it’s golf he’s addicted to and not something dangerous like mountain-climbing.