Golf Widows

[Anonymous]

Op, this is the PP whose dad was also big time golfer. My dad would golf 9 am til whenever and then hang in the men’s lounge or head to the racetrack go watch the horses. On Sunday’s we’d go to church and after he’d be on the course and in the men’s lounge the remainder of the day. But it was ok because we’d be at the pool, tennis, golf (country club) all day, too. Most of my friends had similar dads. No one got divorced. It was understood that the men enjoyed golfing and horses and that’s how much of their business was conducted, tbh.

COVID 19 has made what used to be bearable not so anymore. Take your kids and yourself on a hike - plenty of Fairfax County parks and nature centers. I’m not really outdoorsy, per se, but walking around the trail at Burke Lake Park or Occoquan Regional or Mason District Park or Huntley Meadows is great. Yep, I drive my kids all around to experience the different parks.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Op, this is the PP whose dad was also big time golfer. My dad would golf 9 am til whenever and then hang in the men’s lounge or head to the racetrack go watch the horses. On Sunday’s we’d go to church and after he’d be on the course and in the men’s lounge the remainder of the day. But it was ok because we’d be at the pool, tennis, golf (country club) all day, too. Most of my friends had similar dads. No one got divorced. It was understood that the men enjoyed golfing and horses and that’s how much of their business was conducted, tbh.

COVID 19 has made what used to be bearable not so anymore. Take your kids and yourself on a hike - plenty of Fairfax County parks and nature centers. I’m not really outdoorsy, per se, but walking around the trail at Burke Lake Park or Occoquan Regional or Mason District Park or Huntley Meadows is great. Yep, I drive my kids all around to experience the different parks.

I know maybe I should just look the other way and be thankful. I’ve done this for years, playgrounds and parks alone on weekends. My kids talking to other kids’ dads.

[Anonymous]

OP, he's a high earner and you were his trophy wife. What did you expect? I'm sure he was like this before you married him. His golf trophies are just as important to him as his human trophies. You knew this going in.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I see this quite often at our club among the younger fathers those 35-45. Many end up divorced. I’m so lucky that my husband only played tennis and he would play very early and be home by 10am. He took up golf when he was 50 and our youngest was 15. I worked full time so there was no way he was going to abandon me on weekends. If he had been a golfer in the early years I would have been OK with one round early in the morning and be home at noon. Also, I would have been happy if he played 9 holes with one of the children.

Did he plan things for the family to do together? Did you have other couple/family friends?

Yes, but most of our regular weekends were taken up with kids activities, sports etc. We had plenty of friends in the same boat. He did plan many of our family trips. He was and still is very good dad and now grandad.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I can’t believe you PPs are taking this “society troll’s” post seriously.

I dunno, I feel like the houses in this area are an indication of how wealthy and spoiled people around here are.

She starts drinking rose wine at 3:30?

Lol.

My one glass I sip from 3:30-5:30 while cooking and having dinner w kids! I am not a big drinker.

OK, Susie.

I'm sure our HHI/net worth is not even an eighth of OP's, but I've definitely opened up a bottle of rose on the weekday at 3. And I'm not even SAH!

[Anonymous]

Buy a boat and take your kids on it. Make sure to bring along a young male nanny.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op, this is the PP whose dad was also big time golfer. My dad would golf 9 am til whenever and then hang in the men’s lounge or head to the racetrack go watch the horses. On Sunday’s we’d go to church and after he’d be on the course and in the men’s lounge the remainder of the day. But it was ok because we’d be at the pool, tennis, golf (country club) all day, too. Most of my friends had similar dads. No one got divorced. It was understood that the men enjoyed golfing and horses and that’s how much of their business was conducted, tbh.

COVID 19 has made what used to be bearable not so anymore. Take your kids and yourself on a hike - plenty of Fairfax County parks and nature centers. I’m not really outdoorsy, per se, but walking around the trail at Burke Lake Park or Occoquan Regional or Mason District Park or Huntley Meadows is great. Yep, I drive my kids all around to experience the different parks.

I know maybe I should just look the other way and be thankful. I’ve done this for years, playgrounds and parks alone on weekends. My kids talking to other kids’ dads.

Me, again. Please do. It’s not worth the fight. My dad is my hero. I love him for who he is-a great dad who had his hobbies. He’s an amazing grandpa. Stay the course. Many of us are living it. My DH is into another sport that takes him out of town a few weekends a year.
Ignore the haters, too.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Hi! Can't resurrect the old thread on this so starting a new one....

UGH! My husband is married to his handicap. All our holiday weekends, including this past 4th, revolve around golf. Early close on Thursday, straight to the driving range then "socially distant beers" at his best friends house. Friday 36 holes, then beers with his golf buddies. Saturday sat around and grilled what I bought for dinner, no holiday memory making or planning. Sunday morning early round of golf then took our DS to play 9 in the afternoon. This is psycho right?!
I am a SAHM and he says I have fun every day doing what I love, spending time with our children, and shop and drink rose starting at 3:30 (all true!) but that's not an excuse for him to basically just show up for me and the kids when it's convenient for him? He can't figure out how to plan us a family vacation or activity, but can plan a golf trip with friends months in advance, scheduled perfectly, and weekends at his parents. I am SO OVER IT! Gave him hell all night last night. He makes a lot of money and I'm living a dream life, but feel very jealous that he is having so much fun, and has got "it all figured out!". I kind of feel chumped.
I need to figure out a way to make this work. Any advice?

Np. Another perspective. I'm the wife and I love sports. My dh does not. I havent been golfing in a few years because I have no one to golf with. Please let your dh enjoy it without nagging. My dh loves to sing and when my kids were younger would sing at church and in a choir. So potentially twice a week practice and he traveled a lot. But, singing is his passion and I would never tell him not to do what he loves.

Why cant you learn? It is a lot of fun and it is something you can do together. How old are your kids? Perhaps they can learn too!

[Anonymous]

I wish my husband and son would golf more - our club membership has barely been used this year...

[Anonymous]

Go ahead OP, screw up your life of privilege. If you were working away from home you would have a right to complain but not when you are sipping rose at 3:30.

[Anonymous]

It takes you two hours to sip one glass of rose?!

Seriously, he is being selfish. Not cool.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It takes you two hours to sip one glass of rose?!

Seriously, he is being selfish. Not cool.

Op here- two half glasses so it stays cool. Thanks! He is and heard that from me and more! Lots of apologies today. I mean there’s understanding and there’s honey, wtf that’s way too much golf for a holiday weekend.

[Anonymous]

Yikes. You sound pretty insufferable. If you take away his golf he will find other ways to avoid you.

[Anonymous]

This is what you get for marrying the cool guy and not your best friend.

[Anonymous]

You need to find something to do!