Indoor Wedding for 150 People?! Give me a break!

[Anonymous]

I think they- and 150 of their guests who show up- are absolutely crazy. I would consider going to the outdoor reception if it didn’t involve flying to get there. Otherwise, I wouldn’t take the chance.

[Anonymous]

OP here. I appreciate the responses, and will carefully consider whether to attend at all. I thought that I would be conveying support by showing up for some of the wedding-related events. I love and miss my family -- we all live in different parts of the country -- so I was looking forward to seeing them, even if it did not include the wedding ceremony and reception.

My parents said right away that they would travel to the event, attend the ceremony, but not the reception. I admire that they made a decision that works for them and figured I would do the same.

I was incredibly judgemental in my post, but my intention was never to convey that to the bride and groom. I was just looking for a reality check from the DCUM community.

[Anonymous]

OP again. In case it's relevant, the wedding is in the Midwest. I had planned to fly (and bought tickets) for the original wedding date. I am no longer comfortable with air travel for my family, so we would drive, assuming we attend.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. I appreciate the responses, and will carefully consider whether to attend at all. I thought that I would be conveying support by showing up for some of the wedding-related events. I love and miss my family -- we all live in different parts of the country -- so I was looking forward to seeing them, even if it did not include the wedding ceremony and reception.

My parents said right away that they would travel to the event, attend the ceremony, but not the reception. I admire that they made a decision that works for them and figured I would do the same.

I was incredibly judgemental in my post, but my intention was never to convey that to the bride and groom. I was just looking for a reality check from the DCUM community.

It's okay to go only to the ceremony and skip the reception, especially if you're old. Skipping the ceremony and attending only the reception is less okay, but people don't usually notice if you aren't at the ceremony. But it's really not okay to skip the ceremony AND reception and attend only minor events like thee rehearsal dinner or brunch. That's making it about you, not supporting or celebrating with the couple.

[Anonymous]

Have some compassion for the bride and groom. I am sure this isn’t what they imagined for their wedding. Make the choice that is right for you and move on. You sound like a biotch in the way you are phrasing this.

[Anonymous]

I don't get any of your rationale, at all, for attending "smaller events" that will likely have food, vs. the church ceremony.

Wear a mask and sit in the corner, well away from others, if you must. But if you attend anything, attend the ceremony.

Or don't go, at all, which is also fine.

RSVP cards have "Decline with Regrets" boxes for a reason. Check that box, send a gift, "Like" all the pictures posted on Facebook and such. Done.

Life is not actually hard for those of us mature enough to own our choices and live our choices.

If people get mad or upset...yes, and? That's their problem. Not my problem. I'm going to keep my family as safe as I can during a pandemic, no matter what Aunt Jan thinks or says.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don't get any of your rationale, at all, for attending "smaller events" that will likely have food, vs. the church ceremony.

Wear a mask and sit in the corner, well away from others, if you must. But if you attend anything, attend the ceremony.

Or don't go, at all, which is also fine.

RSVP cards have "Decline with Regrets" boxes for a reason. Check that box, send a gift, "Like" all the pictures posted on Facebook and such. Done.

Life is not actually hard for those of us mature enough to own our choices and live our choices.

If people get mad or upset...yes, and? That's their problem. Not my problem. I'm going to keep my family as safe as I can during a pandemic, no matter what Aunt Jan thinks or says.

The wedding is the thing. If you attend wear a mask and sit in a corner 10' from everyone then duck out.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don't get any of your rationale, at all, for attending "smaller events" that will likely have food, vs. the church ceremony.

Wear a mask and sit in the corner, well away from others, if you must. But if you attend anything, attend the ceremony.

Or don't go, at all, which is also fine.

RSVP cards have "Decline with Regrets" boxes for a reason. Check that box, send a gift, "Like" all the pictures posted on Facebook and such. Done.

Life is not actually hard for those of us mature enough to own our choices and live our choices.

If people get mad or upset...yes, and? That's their problem. Not my problem. I'm going to keep my family as safe as I can during a pandemic, no matter what Aunt Jan thinks or says.

The rationale is that 1) the smaller events are outside and involve fewer people, 2) I would still get the chance to see my family and "celebrate" the couple.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't get any of your rationale, at all, for attending "smaller events" that will likely have food, vs. the church ceremony.

Wear a mask and sit in the corner, well away from others, if you must. But if you attend anything, attend the ceremony.

Or don't go, at all, which is also fine.

RSVP cards have "Decline with Regrets" boxes for a reason. Check that box, send a gift, "Like" all the pictures posted on Facebook and such. Done.

Life is not actually hard for those of us mature enough to own our choices and live our choices.

If people get mad or upset...yes, and? That's their problem. Not my problem. I'm going to keep my family as safe as I can during a pandemic, no matter what Aunt Jan thinks or says.

The rationale is that 1) the smaller events are outside and involve fewer people, 2) I would still get the chance to see my family and "celebrate" the couple.

If your main goal is a family reunion, wait until the next family reunion.

If your goal is to celebrate this couple getting married, attend the marriage ceremony.

[Anonymous]

They're nuts.
Don't go- it will be too stressful.
Dr. Fauci would say no way to 150 person gathering.
CDC recommends AGAINST gatherings over 50 people.

[Anonymous]

expecting everyone

OP, you say they are "expecting everyone". Not necessarily. They extended an invitation. People have free will. People can decline.

[Anonymous]

Another issue...How sure are you that these family members won't rush up and embrace you or get closer to you than six feet? It's one thing to go into an event like this planning on maintaining that physical distancing, but the fact is that these are relatives very excited to see you and may not have gotten the safety memo (or adhere to it).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't get any of your rationale, at all, for attending "smaller events" that will likely have food, vs. the church ceremony.

Wear a mask and sit in the corner, well away from others, if you must. But if you attend anything, attend the ceremony.

Or don't go, at all, which is also fine.

RSVP cards have "Decline with Regrets" boxes for a reason. Check that box, send a gift, "Like" all the pictures posted on Facebook and such. Done.

Life is not actually hard for those of us mature enough to own our choices and live our choices.

If people get mad or upset...yes, and? That's their problem. Not my problem. I'm going to keep my family as safe as I can during a pandemic, no matter what Aunt Jan thinks or says.

The rationale is that 1) the smaller events are outside and involve fewer people, 2) I would still get the chance to see my family and "celebrate" the couple.

If your main goal is a family reunion, wait until the next family reunion.

If your goal is to celebrate this couple getting married, attend the marriage ceremony.

DP and I agree with this. You aren't celebrating the new couple when you don't attend the wedding or reception but only the side events. In reality you are using their paid-for events to do everything BUT what they invited you to do. My advice - don't attend at all, or only attend the wedding itself.

Under normal circumstances attending the reception but not the wedding would be a complete manners no-no - I think people would be more relaxed given covid - but I still wouldn't attend only the side events without attending either of those at all!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. I appreciate the responses, and will carefully consider whether to attend at all. I thought that I would be conveying support by showing up for some of the wedding-related events. I love and miss my family -- we all live in different parts of the country -- so I was looking forward to seeing them, even if it did not include the wedding ceremony and reception.

My parents said right away that they would travel to the event, attend the ceremony, but not the reception. I admire that they made a decision that works for them and figured I would do the same.

I was incredibly judgemental in my post, but my intention was never to convey that to the bride and groom. I was just looking for a reality check from the DCUM community.

It's okay to go only to the ceremony and skip the reception, especially if you're old. Skipping the ceremony and attending only the reception is less okay, but people don't usually notice if you aren't at the ceremony. But it's really not okay to skip the ceremony AND reception and attend only minor events like thee rehearsal dinner or brunch. That's making it about you, not supporting or celebrating with the couple.

I agree, and also please don’t rsvp yes and make them pay for your meal and then not show up to the reception.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:They’re nuts.
I agree with the PP about skipping it altogether rather than going but skipping the main event.

In my family, weddings have been postponed. But we care about everyone’s health.

Yeah I would either go or not. What is the point of accepting risks traveling to only go to one part of the event? What if your family members want to dole out hugs?

Two of my cousins were set to get married this fall (both out of state) - the one in September rescheduled to next year, the December wedding is still on. My mother has been ranting and raving about it and I’m just like, for the love of god you don’t have to go!! Anyone who doesn’t understand why a guest would be reluctant to travel right now is just not worth losing sleep over. I’m not committing one way or another at this point and it’s in a state with rising cases, so I suspect that ultimately it will be cancelled.