Is it selfish to only want 1 child?
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Anonymous
| I love having one kid, and I'm an only and never wished I had brothers or sisters. My kid doesn't either. I know plenty of people who have little to no relationships with their siblings or downright can't stand them. I do not understand the whole "selfish" thing. My friends with two or more kids are always talking about how tired they are--and I am secretly like--no one made you have more than one! One kid gets all of your attention. Money. If they need people to socialize with-they exist. They are called friends. And they get to go home at night! It's also a myth that only children are selfish or not well-adjusted...I mean...not any more or less so than kids with brothers and sisters. I do not regret the decision at all. The ONLY thing that I think is a little harder is caring for parents as they age. Theoretically, if you have multiple kids, they can share this burden. But I've seen plenty of examples of this falling to one child anyway. |
Anonymous
| It’s perfectly legitimate to want one and it’s perfectly legitimate to want two. Since this isn’t something you can compromise about, the person carrying the pregnancy chooses. |
Anonymous
| Can you imagine how lonely only children are during this quarantine? |
Anonymous
My only child is perfectly happy, so please stop with your phony “worry.” |
Anonymous
| No, it is not. More people should consider it. |
Anonymous
My only is doing great. Some of my friends with multiples are doing fine. Some of them are very much in crisis. Good and bad situations exist for every family size. |
Anonymous
DH and I are committed to our daughter being an only. Why? A few reasons: - We want to continue to work. Our careers are important to us. We can’t do that in a cheaper area; we have to be in a major metro area. That leads to my second point: - We want to be able to afford college for her, retirement, vacations, and private school Having a second kid would result in sacrificing on things we’re not willing to sacrifice on. |
Anonymous
| One is perfect. |
Anonymous
We have an only child and he's doing great. I don't need to imagine it. Most siblings are not best friends and don't get along. Most people want more kids and use the sibling as a justification but they really want more kids so the kids will play together and they can ignore them. |
Anonymous
Yep. I think about my extended family, DH’s, and our own siblings. I can’t think of one sibling relationship that is exceptionally close. My sister and I talk regularly, but we don’t have a lot in common anymore. DH doesn’t talk to his brother. My dad hates his 3 sisters. My mom despises her brother. |
Anonymous
I have a sibling who always hated me as a kid and resented me being around. I have very little relationship with her so it made no impact on my life. If anything, I got so much less as the focus was always on her and her needs/wishes/wants and I was always scapegoated as the three of them always aligned against me. My child gets all our attention, money and support. They don't have to worry about sharing time, resources or getting their needs met. My child isn't selfish, isn't demanding, rarely asks for anything (so when he does we know its something he really wants) and is really thoughtful and caring. I would have liked two for me, but life didn't work out that way. My husband is not close to his brother either. When it came time for sharing the burden of aging parents, the burden fell on me which I gladly did to show my child how a good family should work. Now, my parents need help but they favored the sibling so they got POA and their exception is I do all the day to day work under her direction and control. They lied and said it was shared so when she spilled the beans it was not, I pulled out so now they are really lonely and its becoming a huge issue as my sibling will take phone calls but not help. How you treat your kids, if you have two or more is important if you expect them to care for you. |
Anonymous
Enough with this. It is NOT selfish to have kids unless you do a lousy job as a parent. Raising productive, emotionally heathy offspring who will contribute to society and are considerate of others is invaluable to the future well being of humankind and the planet. How did that obvious fact start escaping people? People too used to seeing people raising little monster narcissists that they forgot an alternative is possible? Anyway, back to OP. Having a preference of your own is NOT selfish. You’d have to be the mother of baby number 2 and if you are not up to it then better you not do it! |
Anonymous
How many hours a day is your kid sitting in front of a screen? |
Anonymous
How many hours a day is YOUR kid in front of a screen? For mine it’s an hour at most. |
Anonymous
2 is the worst number. It's very middle middle class. UMC people have 1 or 3. |