Is it selfish to only want 1 child?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Can you imagine how lonely only children are during this quarantine?

Can you? Do you have an only child? If not, please stop projecting things onto other people to make yourself feel better about your choices.

I have an only child and this shut down has been hard for her, but honestly no harder than its been for all of my friends kids, all whom except one, have 2 kids. In fact, she's actually done better than a few families I know with 2 kids who don't particularly get along.

[Anonymous]

It's totally fine to want only one child. Not selfish at all. Enjoy your family of three and let yourself move on.

[Anonymous]

No. I was an only child. I always wanted friends as a kid but that was because I didn’t live in a kid neighborhood and didn’t have constant play dates. I have girl friends who are closer to me than siblings. I did beg for a sibling. I had a sweet dog though and that helped a lot. As an adult, it’s FAB. My parents and I are very close. I love vacationing with them. They were there for me when I had my kids. It’s hard that my parents have no other family to spend holidays with. I used to do every other, but now I host every Christmas (we have the only grandchildren and have a huge home). We split all other holidays though. My parents moved to DC to be near us.

So know that when your kids get married there will be holidays you’ll spend alone because your kid will be at in-laws. I think my parents weren’t prepared for that, especially as their parents aged and passed away. Dh and I are completely on board with knowing we will care for my parents on our own if something happens (not all spouses agree). But my parents only had one kid so they do have more retirement savings. Whereas with Dh we’ve had meetings with his siblings and know that the burden is more shared with his parents.

While I liked being and only, I did choose to have 3 kids. I love seeing my kids and their relationships with each other. Sometimes I wish I could spend all my time with just one kid though.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Ugh. 2 kids? Just ugh.

What's that supposed to mean?

2 is the worst number. It's very middle middle class. UMC people have 1 or 3.

[Anonymous]

I have felt very sad for only children and their parents during this quarantine. I’m blessed to have three children and while at times they will torture each other and me they have spent many hours playing together.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Can you imagine how lonely only children are during this quarantine?

My brother and I are 5 years apart and constantly fought during childhood. I cannot imagine what my parents would have done with us during a quarantine.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have felt very sad for only children and their parents during this quarantine. I’m blessed to have three children and while at times they will torture each other and me they have spent many hours playing together.

They don’t need your pity or your judgement. MYOB.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have felt very sad for only children and their parents during this quarantine. I’m blessed to have three children and while at times they will torture each other and me they have spent many hours playing together.

[Anonymous]

I have one because I wanted one. My own life as it was was not terribly disrupted.

[Anonymous]

A my mother always told me: 1 is fun. More than 1 is work.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Ugh. 2 kids? Just ugh.

What's that supposed to mean?

2 is the worst number. It's very middle middle class. UMC people have 1 or 3.

Np but I feel this way too. 2 just feels so safe and boring. I can’t explain it. I do feel like 2 is so middle class.

[Anonymous]

Think about after you die. I know many brother sister combos that are super close. I think the child will want family when you are gone. Not everyone marries.

[Anonymous]

One child is fine. I’m an only child. Sure, I was bored sometimes but I’m just fine.

[Anonymous]

2 is the worst number. It's very middle middle class. UMC people have 1 or 3

Middle middle class? Ugh. Everyone who’s anyone has 3 kids. Or at least 2 kids and a ferret.

[Anonymous]

Everyone has their own view on this- informed by their own childhoods, values, beliefs, etc. In my opinion it isn't selfish at all. I was (am) an only child, and had a great childhood and didn't want for anything. Part of that was because my parents only had to pay for 1- ha. Some will say money doesn't matter when you have the love of your children, etc. I'm pregnant with my first now and also feel like I'll be fine with one. My husband probably wants two, so that will be a negotiation down the road. There aren't right or wrong answers. Some people say they can't imagine their lives without their sibling/s, others aren't close. Some only children always wanted a sibling. I'm not going to say the thought never crossed my mind, but I was never really that lonely. I think being an only child pushed me to make friends and feel comfortable and assertive in new situations with new people, which has served me well personally and professionally throughout my life. Not having someone to share the care of my older parents can be hard- assuming that if I did have a sibling, they would be able/willing to do that- but it's not a cross I feel I bear heavily.