Have you met your ex's new SO?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:When I was a kid, anytime my stepdad and dad met, it was really uncomfortable for me. There was a lot of tension and awkwardness.

I felt the same as a kid. But it was my mom and step-mom and they hated each other (still do). Perhaps if everyone got along it wouldn't have been strange.

This is all a reminder that as much as I am sick of my spouse right now, divorce carries it's own headaches.

True dat

[Anonymous]

I agree with your wife. Your ex has moved on and it's her call who she allows around the children on her time. Same with you. If you happen to meet great, otherwise no need for exes to be involved in new relationships.

Focus on your wife and kids and your own home OP.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What exactly did you say?

I'd like to meet so and so.

WHY? THAT's STUPID

Well, he spends a lot of time with the kids, and I would like to meet him and just have a brief talk.

YOUR KIDS HAVE NOTHING TO DO WITH HIM, YOU'RE JUST EMPOWERING YOUR EX, ETC ETC

[unstated: I wanted to tell him that he seems like a good guy, I appreciate his looking after the kids, and that if anything ever happens to me I would appreciate, as one father to another, his watchful eye over children]

Your new wife sounds like a real peach. Keep your kids away from her,

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm curious what the backstory is here. You don't spend much time with your kids, and your current wife is jealous of your ex and kids.

And honestly, I don't even see why you'd want to meet him. If you can't be bothered to raise your own kids, why would you care about meeting their stepdad?

Backstory is kids were unhappy at my house and moved in FT with mom. It was my fault, I let stepmom run the show.

Then ex got together with this new guy and eventually married him. Kids and I have had a damaged relationship for a while that we are sure of mutually agreeing to repair.

Dude, meeting ex's SO is the least of your worries. At least your kids are OK being with your ex and her SO as opposed to your house. How are you fixing this relationship if you're still married to the stepmom?

This. OP, you married a woman who treats your kids like dirt and alienated them to the point they felt they couldn't stay in their own home, and your solution is for your awful wife to stay and your kids to move out. You're still with this woman. This speaks volumes about your issues and lack of fitness to be a parent. I hope your kids are happy with their mom and stepdad.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm curious what the backstory is here. You don't spend much time with your kids, and your current wife is jealous of your ex and kids.

And honestly, I don't even see why you'd want to meet him. If you can't be bothered to raise your own kids, why would you care about meeting their stepdad?

Backstory is kids were unhappy at my house and moved in FT with mom. It was my fault, I let stepmom run the show.

Then ex got together with this new guy and eventually married him. Kids and I have had a damaged relationship for a while that we are sure of mutually agreeing to repair.

Sounds like your new wife is still running the show. Your biggest issue isn't meeting their new dad. Its reparining your relatiionship with your kids and asking yourself why you are letting your bitch of a new wife tear your family further apart. Your kids see this. hopefully the new dad will be a good influence.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm curious what the backstory is here. You don't spend much time with your kids, and your current wife is jealous of your ex and kids.

And honestly, I don't even see why you'd want to meet him. If you can't be bothered to raise your own kids, why would you care about meeting their stepdad?

Backstory is kids were unhappy at my house and moved in FT with mom. It was my fault, I let stepmom run the show.

Then ex got together with this new guy and eventually married him. Kids and I have had a damaged relationship for a while that we are sure of mutually agreeing to repair.

Sounds like your new wife is still running the show. Your biggest issue isn't meeting their new dad. Its reparining your relatiionship with your kids and asking yourself why you are letting your bitch of a new wife tear your family further apart. Your kids see this. hopefully the new dad will be a good influence.

Oh please his relationship with his kids is on him. It's not anything to do with his wife unless she treated them bad. Often the kids are simply angry about the divorce and take it out on the new partners. This is probably what has happened. Now if there was cheating involved - well that was a foreseeable reaction.

He and his wife have a home together and the kids need to be respectful of their rules. I suspect they didn't like that. Same with his ex wife in her home. Siding with your kids against your spouse, or vice versa is really a bad idea.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Never met him, but have seen a picture. Let’s say gym isn’t in his vocabulary.

Holy crap. That's where you are on this? The man is literally raising your child and yet you have never met him? And your one comment is on his physique? Your XW definitely traded up.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Never met him, but have seen a picture. Let’s say gym isn’t in his vocabulary.

Holy crap. That's where you are on this? The man is literally raising your child and yet you have never met him? And your one comment is on his physique? Your XW definitely traded up.

I am OP and this is not my comment.

To the other commentors who recognize me, I have re-established communication with my kids but it has triggered a massive bought depression in me.

[Anonymous]

Communicating with your kids makes you depressed? And why did you let your wife "run the show" to the point that your kids don't want to live with you. I am guessing, your new wife was the other woman?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What does it really accomplish. If you don't like him so what, you have no say over who your ex dates, who she has spend time with your kids.

If there are any real issues your kids would tell you.

Would you listen to your ex's opinion of your DW? If she said she didn't like her and didn't want her spending time with your kids would you even listen?

The kids live with your ex, if it matters then go for custody.

Did you even read the post?

Op, I think it can be weird. OTOH this person spends a lot of time around your kids, and I think your reason for wanting to meet him is good.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Never met him, but have seen a picture. Let’s say gym isn’t in his vocabulary.

Holy crap. That's where you are on this? The man is literally raising your child and yet you have never met him? And your one comment is on his physique? Your XW definitely traded up.

I am OP and this is not my comment.

To the other commentors who recognize me, I have re-established communication with my kids but it has triggered a massive bought depression in me.

Can you give more of your backstory or point out to your previous post if you don’t want to repeat yourself? I think your instincts to meet step dad are right and you should follow them. How old are your kids?

Also: you cannot be a flipfloper this is your last chance with your kids, don’t blow it. My DH could have forgiven his dad when he came back with amends the first time around, then he drifted off again, the second time he was so guarded but his Popps really seemed to show remorse and after a year of pleading he let him in his life/heart again. Well..repeat rinse a few times and now that grandkids are in pictures we are completely done. The grandfather is not mean he is just not emotionally reliable and drifts in and out of our life. It was fine for us but not our kids. So now he is out for good