Have you met your ex's new SO?

[Anonymous]

When I was a kid, anytime my stepdad and dad met, it was really uncomfortable for me. There was a lot of tension and awkwardness.

[Anonymous]

The way she responded to you is a good reminder of why she’s your ex.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:When I was a kid, anytime my stepdad and dad met, it was really uncomfortable for me. There was a lot of tension and awkwardness.

I felt the same as a kid. But it was my mom and step-mom and they hated each other (still do). Perhaps if everyone got along it wouldn't have been strange.

This is all a reminder that as much as I am sick of my spouse right now, divorce carries it's own headaches.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don't think it's weird. I feel it's more odd that you haven't met him after 2 years of being an influence on your children.

This. Ya'll are on the same team raising the children.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think it's very strange that you haven't met the man who's spending so much time with your kids. If he lives with your ex and kids or stays the night then meeting and vetting him is way past due.

Honestly, your current wife sounds like she has some issues with your ex and kids. She must have known you had an ex and kids when you married her. It sounds like she's competing with them.

This whole dynamic seems really off. You're so far removed form your kids' lives that you don't even know the man who's spending so much time with them, and your current wife begrudges you doing the bare minimum of your parental duty to try to get to know him.

Stick to your instincts and meet this guy. If your relationship with your ex needs any repairing for you to get more involved in your kids' day to day lives, then do that. You don't want to wake up one day and wonder why your relationship with your grown kids is so distant and you barely know your grandkids. This is how it happens, by not being involved enough when they're growing up. You're setting the foundation for your relationships with them for the rest of your lives.

This is a good post. Your children may be spending more time with this guy than you. Meet the guy. Your wife sounds very immature and threatened by the thought of you meeting this guy. Meet the guy. He is key in your childrens' life.

[Anonymous]

Your wife sounds immature and threatened by your children and your time/investment with your children and your ex's SO.

At some point you will have graduations and weddings to attend together. If nothing else things are much more smooth if you meet him now.

[Anonymous]

Speak to your family lawyer

[Anonymous]

I'm curious what the backstory is here. You don't spend much time with your kids, and your current wife is jealous of your ex and kids.

And honestly, I don't even see why you'd want to meet him. If you can't be bothered to raise your own kids, why would you care about meeting their stepdad?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm curious what the backstory is here. You don't spend much time with your kids, and your current wife is jealous of your ex and kids.

And honestly, I don't even see why you'd want to meet him. If you can't be bothered to raise your own kids, why would you care about meeting their stepdad?

Backstory is kids were unhappy at my house and moved in FT with mom. It was my fault, I let stepmom run the show.

Then ex got together with this new guy and eventually married him. Kids and I have had a damaged relationship for a while that we are sure of mutually agreeing to repair.

[Anonymous]

The first time I met him was when I came back early from a trip and they were on the couch making out.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm curious what the backstory is here. You don't spend much time with your kids, and your current wife is jealous of your ex and kids.

And honestly, I don't even see why you'd want to meet him. If you can't be bothered to raise your own kids, why would you care about meeting their stepdad?

Backstory is kids were unhappy at my house and moved in FT with mom. It was my fault, I let stepmom run the show.

Then ex got together with this new guy and eventually married him. Kids and I have had a damaged relationship for a while that we are sure of mutually agreeing to repair.

Holy crap, OP. PP you're responding to is right. You don't know your kids' stepdad??? And you allowed your current wife to alienate you from your kids to the point where they didn't feel comfortable in your/their home? And you didn't think these were crucial details to share in your first post, but commenting on the guy's lack of gym time was your focus?

You reap what you sow . . .

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm curious what the backstory is here. You don't spend much time with your kids, and your current wife is jealous of your ex and kids.

And honestly, I don't even see why you'd want to meet him. If you can't be bothered to raise your own kids, why would you care about meeting their stepdad?

Backstory is kids were unhappy at my house and moved in FT with mom. It was my fault, I let stepmom run the show.

Then ex got together with this new guy and eventually married him. Kids and I have had a damaged relationship for a while that we are sure of mutually agreeing to repair.

Are you the guy with the psycho wife, hasn’t seen his kids in years, and keeps posting about it?

Either way, stepdad is the least of your worries. I wouldn’t even think of trying to meet him until you fix your relationship with your kids and ditch the crazy wife.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm curious what the backstory is here. You don't spend much time with your kids, and your current wife is jealous of your ex and kids.

And honestly, I don't even see why you'd want to meet him. If you can't be bothered to raise your own kids, why would you care about meeting their stepdad?

Backstory is kids were unhappy at my house and moved in FT with mom. It was my fault, I let stepmom run the show.

Then ex got together with this new guy and eventually married him. Kids and I have had a damaged relationship for a while that we are sure of mutually agreeing to repair.

Dude, meeting ex's SO is the least of your worries. At least your kids are OK being with your ex and her SO as opposed to your house. How are you fixing this relationship if you're still married to the stepmom?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The way she responded to you is a good reminder of why she’s your ex.

It wasn’t his ex who responded this way, it’s his current wife.

OP, there’s a big problem here and it isn’t with you or your ex. Why did you pick such an insecure and nasty person to marry? Why did you let her get sideways with your kids so they wanted to move out.

She is not a nice person; please don’t have kids with her and keep your money separated.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:As a woman I could care less about meeting my ex’s new wife. She’s nice to my son and that’s all that matters to me.

But she’s around your son all the time. Don’t you feel the need to check her out some? I would.