Woman posts that she got home after a 9HR shift to this

[Anonymous]

Who would have 5 kids with a dude like that? No thanks, zero chance he turned this way overnight. Also, time for her kids to learn some chores.

[Anonymous]

im wondering how many of these posters have relatively small families and/or have ever taken care of more than a couple young kids at once.

1) she implies but doesn't say that the husband is home full time with the kids

2) even if he was: have you ever taken care of 5 young kids at once? i haven't; i only have 4, but that house doesn't look so different than i might think after a hard day... esp if that's clean but unfolded laundry, i'd say the parent did a decent job!

i'm not normally one of those people at all who say that if the genders were reversed the comments would be different... but let's say this were a SAH mom with a colicky baby who had prepped food for kids too young to do so themselves and hadn't had time to get to the dishes yet etc....

5 kids are a lot. you can argue it wasn't a good choice for that family or whatever, but this is what reality looks like.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote: And men wonder why they are called man/child or why their wives don't want to have sex with them.

Yet most mothers don't want their sons to learn (and do!) their own laundry. Think about it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:im wondering how many of these posters have relatively small families and/or have ever taken care of more than a couple young kids at once.

1) she implies but doesn't say that the husband is home full time with the kids

2) even if he was: have you ever taken care of 5 young kids at once? i haven't; i only have 4, but that house doesn't look so different than i might think after a hard day... esp if that's clean but unfolded laundry, i'd say the parent did a decent job!

i'm not normally one of those people at all who say that if the genders were reversed the comments would be different... but let's say this were a SAH mom with a colicky baby who had prepped food for kids too young to do so themselves and hadn't had time to get to the dishes yet etc....

5 kids are a lot. you can argue it wasn't a good choice for that family or whatever, but this is what reality looks like.

She posted the kids on TikTok. 4 girls and 1 boy with estimated ages of 6, 8, 11, and 13. Activities featured showed them all old enough to brush their own teeth and dye easter eggs without assistance.

Her spouse's laziness has nothing to do with a colicky baby.

[Anonymous]

I remember once when my mom was out of town (I was out of the house by then) and my dad told their friends she needed to come home soon because the freezer was full of dishes.

If you put them in the freezer they don't get moldy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I can't imagine this pain but she looks furious and heartbroken

+1

Please do not underestimate what a clean house and home cooked meal can do for everyone's morale.

You are doing a solid to the morale of your loved ones and for this country if you can do the work to normalize daily living and make it more bearable.

There is not very much in our control and we all are suffering. If you can do even a little bit in your own house to alleviate unhappiness and restore normalcy it will pay huge dividends in improved mental health, morale booster and a sense of control and purpose.

This is so true. I can’t believe a man would be okay with his wife coming home to this. Real men take care of their wives and families.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote: 5 kids! I weep for this planet

+1 Selfish.

[Anonymous]

Just going to restate what was said earlier ... it ain't only men who are slobs and unwilling to put in an effort at home. I put up with this for years from my soon-to-be ex-wife; the only one who did work around the house was me. Despite counseling, it became worse instead of better when a child came into the picture and I ended basically being the single parent of a child and a woman-child. Guys and girls -- if you think you can change 'em ... you can't. If they promise you they'll change, they won't. What you see is what you get.

[Anonymous]

Have any of you even looked at her account? She has 3 daughter's, the other's are his. It appears they have broken up. Good for her.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Have any of you even looked at her account? She has 3 daughter's, the other's are his. It appears they have broken up. Good for her.

Have you ever even looked up the plural versus the possessive?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What a pig.

My husband is not like this, but that’s because his father was an equal contributor in the home, and they both worked. Men behave in the way that was modeled for them. I don’t blame women who marry someone like this because how the hell are you supposed to figure out the man was raised to be a lazy pig?

My husband's dad had a live-in housekeeper and live-in nanny. I think he made coffee and that's about it. DH and I decided we did not want that sort of lifestyle - we wanted privacy in our home. But when I met DH he was in law school, and I paid attention to how clean or messy his apartment was. When I grabbed a drink from the refrigerator I noticed how organized it was and how much produce he had. When I used the bathroom I could tell it had been cleaned recently. And when I went over after he'd broken a bone and had surgery, he apologized for the mess. Which consisted of a pile of mail on the coffee table and a pile of dirty clothes on his desk chair. So I knew this was a man who would clean his home.

Cleanliness and organization are important to me. I would not have married him if he didn't keep things tidy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have to wonder if its fake. They have five kids so Dad was probably doing all the homeschooling, cooking dinner and other stuff. With 5 kid, everyone should be helping out.

Agree. That mess did not appear in just 9 hours. And a 9 hour shift? Isn't that a regular work day?

Agree, I don’t think that much laundry happened over 1 day.
Kids are old enough to do dishes.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:im wondering how many of these posters have relatively small families and/or have ever taken care of more than a couple young kids at once.

1) she implies but doesn't say that the husband is home full time with the kids

2) even if he was: have you ever taken care of 5 young kids at once? i haven't; i only have 4, but that house doesn't look so different than i might think after a hard day... esp if that's clean but unfolded laundry, i'd say the parent did a decent job!

i'm not normally one of those people at all who say that if the genders were reversed the comments would be different... but let's say this were a SAH mom with a colicky baby who had prepped food for kids too young to do so themselves and hadn't had time to get to the dishes yet etc....

5 kids are a lot. you can argue it wasn't a good choice for that family or whatever, but this is what reality looks like.

We have six kids, though two are adults and only one is staying with us through the quarantine. So four younger ones. Our house does NOT ever look like that. Dishes get cleaned or put in the dishwasher at the end of a meal/snack. Every kid has two or three jobs throughout the house throughout the week to get done. Clean laundry is folded and put away daily. Dirty laundry is in the laundry bag/hamper in bedrooms/bathrooms until it goes into the machine. All mail goes in a box on the office bookcase. All shoes go in one of three baskets by the front door. The key is that there is a place for EVERYTHING in the house, and everyone knows what they're supposed to do. If DH or I leave for the day, we can come home confident that things will be orderly and clean. (Or, in the process of getting cleaned - a lot of baking happens here.)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote: And men wonder why they are called man/child or why their wives don't want to have sex with them.

Yet most mothers don't want their sons to learn (and do!) their own laundry. Think about it.

? I don't know any mother now a days who don't want their male sons to learn to do their own laundry, including me, mom of a teen DS. He has cooked us a pasta dinner twice now -- albeit an easy one; he washes the dishes after the other sibling bakes cookies (that was their deal).

Yes, teach your sons to take care of themselves and the house. They both have house chores, laundry included.

I have 4 siblings. We grew up in a tiny house. Our house NEVER looked like that. My dad didn't cook, but I remember him helping clean the house.

We don't know if the guy was homeschooling. Maybe he was doing nothing. There have been folks posting on this forum about how the husbands can't handle WFH and dealing with the kids, so they either rely on their wives while they also wfh FT to deal with the kids or they are ignoring the kids schooling.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Have any of you even looked at her account? She has 3 daughter's, the other's are his. It appears they have broken up. Good for her.

? how can she break up during a pandemic? Where are they living?