Helping to teach portion control

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP - have you allowed her these things in the past? Or are you just now starting to notice/care since her weight is creeping up?

If you have allowed this overindulgence in the past (I can see asking for a second piece of cake, but a third???), why? Your problem is going to be reigning her in without causing issues.

My advice to you is to start serving what you want her to eat, and allow her free reign of fruits and veggies. So if you want her to eat 2 pancakes, you make six. When she asks for seconds, there are no more, and you let her know she can have another boiled egg or more fruit. Freeze the bread you don't want her to eat. So she gets the bowl of lentils, a salad/veggie, a piece of fruit, and one serving of bread. If she asks for more bread, there is no more, but there is more fruit or salad.

IF she isn't going to a ton of parties, I would lay off on the what she eats at parties (for now). Do you talk about serving sizes to her? My kids know (or think they know) what a serving size is. They would never ask for another slice of cake - but this is something we have instilled in them for years. A cake serving is a cupcake, or whatever size the host gives you (and you don't have to eat it all if it is too much).

Do not follow this advice.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:1,000 calories per day no more no matter what is what my mom taught me. If you eat it all at breakfast you will regret it at 5 pm. I’m 37 never gone over . Guilt of upsetting my mother and letting her down is enough to make me not eat even when starving.

Okay so this is kind of what I’m trying to avoid (not OP)

This doesn't mean you need to allow your child to snarf 5 slices of pizza or 3 slices of cake at a time, either.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:1,000 calories per day no more no matter what is what my mom taught me. If you eat it all at breakfast you will regret it at 5 pm. I’m 37 never gone over . Guilt of upsetting my mother and letting her down is enough to make me not eat even when starving.

OMG

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Read Your child's weight - helping without harming by Ellyn Satter. It will help you with tools to help your daughter learn how to listen to her body's cues without you controlling her diet (which as you said, will truly only cause harm in the end). h

ttps://www.amazon.com/Your-Childs-Weight-Helping-Without/dp/0967118913/ref=sr_1_3?crid=3QD0LQQ53JJLZ&keywords=your+childs+weight+helping+without+harming&qid=1582656605&sprefix=your+childs+weight+hel%2Caps%2C208&sr=8-3

But I always caution people to be very careful about a child seeing the book because the title makes it something that could make a child feel a lot of shame if they found their parent reading. I would just get it on kindle to make sure it's not lying around the house. The book actually ISN'T about weight, but the title would make a child think that.

I'm annoyingly flagging my own comment again here - please read this op. Those posting here are not RDs, they are not trained in nutrition or how to actually develop a healthy relationship with food and be able to listen to your body.

I’ll flag this also!! What people are describing is the opposite of intuitive eating. By putting out limited portions of food and telling her there isn’t more, she isn’t learning how to listen to her own hunger cues. You don’t want to have a quick fix here, you want her to learn healthy eating habits that will last her a lifetime.

She doesn't have hunger cues! OP is describing a child who wants to eat 2-3 slices of cake or a fifth slice of pizza. I have hosted 15 parties and have NEVER had a child ask me for a THIRD slice of cake/cupcake. That isn't hunger at 10 years old - it's gluttony.

There is nothing wrong with telling your children there is no more of whatever after everyone has had a serving, and if they are still hungry they can have more fruit or veggies. I hate it when people say this on this site...but...this is why Americans are fat.

That is not the way your child gets her hunger cues back.

Again - this is why your kids are fat. It is FINE to tell your child they cannot have a third slice or cake or fifth slice of pizza. And that there are plenty of items on the fruit or veggie tray the host provided. If they turn those down...they aren't really hungry, just being greedy (which is fine on occasion).

If my daughter wanted five pieces of pizza I would wonder what was going on but I wouldn’t tell her to stop eating. Of course when people overeat they aren’t overeating because they’re hungry, I don’t always eat just because I’m hungry, but trying to control her like this isn’t going to help anything.

And my daughter is not fat, she is actually quite thin, but even if she was fat I wouldn’t use your messed-up approach to controlling eating.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:1,000 calories per day no more no matter what is what my mom taught me. If you eat it all at breakfast you will regret it at 5 pm. I’m 37 never gone over . Guilt of upsetting my mother and letting her down is enough to make me not eat even when starving.

OMG

I can’t believe somebody posted this comment as anything but an example of what not to do.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Read Your child's weight - helping without harming by Ellyn Satter. It will help you with tools to help your daughter learn how to listen to her body's cues without you controlling her diet (which as you said, will truly only cause harm in the end). h

ttps://www.amazon.com/Your-Childs-Weight-Helping-Without/dp/0967118913/ref=sr_1_3?crid=3QD0LQQ53JJLZ&keywords=your+childs+weight+helping+without+harming&qid=1582656605&sprefix=your+childs+weight+hel%2Caps%2C208&sr=8-3

But I always caution people to be very careful about a child seeing the book because the title makes it something that could make a child feel a lot of shame if they found their parent reading. I would just get it on kindle to make sure it's not lying around the house. The book actually ISN'T about weight, but the title would make a child think that.

I'm annoyingly flagging my own comment again here - please read this op. Those posting here are not RDs, they are not trained in nutrition or how to actually develop a healthy relationship with food and be able to listen to your body.

I’ll flag this also!! What people are describing is the opposite of intuitive eating. By putting out limited portions of food and telling her there isn’t more, she isn’t learning how to listen to her own hunger cues. You don’t want to have a quick fix here, you want her to learn healthy eating habits that will last her a lifetime.

She doesn't have hunger cues! OP is describing a child who wants to eat 2-3 slices of cake or a fifth slice of pizza. I have hosted 15 parties and have NEVER had a child ask me for a THIRD slice of cake/cupcake. That isn't hunger at 10 years old - it's gluttony.

There is nothing wrong with telling your children there is no more of whatever after everyone has had a serving, and if they are still hungry they can have more fruit or veggies. I hate it when people say this on this site...but...this is why Americans are fat.

That is not the way your child gets her hunger cues back.

Again - this is why your kids are fat. It is FINE to tell your child they cannot have a third slice or cake or fifth slice of pizza. And that there are plenty of items on the fruit or veggie tray the host provided. If they turn those down...they aren't really hungry, just being greedy (which is fine on occasion).

If my daughter wanted five pieces of pizza I would wonder what was going on but I wouldn’t tell her to stop eating. Of course when people overeat they aren’t overeating because they’re hungry, I don’t always eat just because I’m hungry, but trying to control her like this isn’t going to help anything.

And my daughter is not fat, she is actually quite thin, but even if she was fat I wouldn’t use your messed-up approach to controlling eating.

The advice on here is scary. Obviously you can tell your kid she can’t eat a whole cake or whatever. Big pizza? I don’t think I’d do that. That’s why we’re recommending she go to a professional RD for advice. Another great resource is Kids Eat in Color on Instagram. She’s mainly focused on younger kids, but explains everything really well. You let your kids learn to listen to their bodies and you take the thrill away from ‘junk’ food by offering it enough so that kids don’t gouge when it’s available.

But don’t listen to me. Definitely don’t listen to anyone on here telling you to restrict. Their are good resources out their. @kids.eat.in.color and Ellyn Satter are two excellent options.

[Anonymous]

OP, what do you mean by "75%" and "50%"? Are those weight percentiles? What height percentile is she in?

[Anonymous]

consider taking her to a nutritionist that focuses on nutrition for athletes. I did this w my DC. She wasn't interested at all but after a couple of weeks I noticed her making different choices. Its hard to change their eating habits, especially when they are athletes and need more fuel. The athlete piece is key to getting buy in, helping to eat for performance and don't run out of gas.
Indulgence once in a while is fine but never never talk about weight or weight gain

[Anonymous]

PP here...forgot to say not your job to restrict but with working w/ the nutritionist you can offer better choices

[Anonymous]

The people who are bringing up etiquette are for the most part being disingenuous. If there isn’t enough for everybody, don’t have seconds. Of course. That’s not what the post is about. It’s about a mom worried about how to handle her what she sees as her daughter eating too much.

And I can understand that. Let’s face it, for the most part, we don’t want our daughters to be unattractive, and thin is usually considered more attractive. Nobody wants to admit it but it’s so often the case (I won’t presume to know your feelings about it OP so this might not be you).. We are worried that if they weigh too much they will be teased, judged, etc. This is a very normal reaction because we love our kids and want what’s best for them! But we need to be careful to go about this in the right way. The right way is to take advantage of all the research that experts have offered, such as the book recommended above.