3rd Grade DD Has a Pot Belly

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The idea that weight is a taboo topic that can't be talked about actually contributes to disordered body image. When something is secret and taboo and not something that can be discussed it becomes a problem.

There are many ways to talk about weight and health that aren't going to create an eating disorder.

I grew up in a home where health was talked about openly - sleep, physical activity, weight, nutrition, stress management, we talked about all of it. I do the same with my kids. It is just part of the conversation. Neither or nor any of my 5 siblings nor any of my kids have eating disorders or any issues with body image.

The idea that we should be blind to weight and make it a taboo topic is really unhealthy. Obesity is a real issue and it isn't healthy.

You should be having the conversations all along whether there is a weight issue or not. Here's why we eat some foods in moderation, here's why we don't drink sodas at every meal, here's why it's important to get physical exercise. And yes, it's a broader conversation than weight. It's about your body feeling good. It's about your teeth staying healthy. It's about why does my stomach hurt when I eat too much crappy food.

These are all the time conversations, not my kid is fat now I should say something conversations.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The idea that weight is a taboo topic that can't be talked about actually contributes to disordered body image. When something is secret and taboo and not something that can be discussed it becomes a problem.

There are many ways to talk about weight and health that aren't going to create an eating disorder.

I grew up in a home where health was talked about openly - sleep, physical activity, weight, nutrition, stress management, we talked about all of it. I do the same with my kids. It is just part of the conversation. Neither or nor any of my 5 siblings nor any of my kids have eating disorders or any issues with body image.

The idea that we should be blind to weight and make it a taboo topic is really unhealthy. Obesity is a real issue and it isn't healthy.

You should be having the conversations all along whether there is a weight issue or not. Here's why we eat some foods in moderation, here's why we don't drink sodas at every meal, here's why it's important to get physical exercise. And yes, it's a broader conversation than weight. It's about your body feeling good. It's about your teeth staying healthy. It's about why does my stomach hurt when I eat too much crappy food.

These are all the time conversations, not my kid is fat now I should say something conversations.

lol

That doesn't really kick in until your 30s+. Totally irrelevant for kids or 20-somethings.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’m the person who recommended a second opinion. I have been to a doctor who made a big deal of my weight, and then I went to a different one who didn’t say anything. My BMI is 24, my bloodwork is good, I do my best to be active. The first doctor was just looking for a problem where there was none.

In terms of pediatricians they are supposed to look at a chart and see if BMI has been stable. Some don’t. Doctors aren’t perfect. A second opinion is no big deal.

You don't need a second opinion. Look at your child's weight chart trend yourself. (Ours are online. If yours aren't, ask for a copy to be sent to you.) Run the BMI numbers yourself.

For kids, you can see their BMI percentile and there are online calculators. Very easy. 85th percentile or above is considered overweight.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The idea that weight is a taboo topic that can't be talked about actually contributes to disordered body image. When something is secret and taboo and not something that can be discussed it becomes a problem.

There are many ways to talk about weight and health that aren't going to create an eating disorder.

I grew up in a home where health was talked about openly - sleep, physical activity, weight, nutrition, stress management, we talked about all of it. I do the same with my kids. It is just part of the conversation. Neither or nor any of my 5 siblings nor any of my kids have eating disorders or any issues with body image.

The idea that we should be blind to weight and make it a taboo topic is really unhealthy. Obesity is a real issue and it isn't healthy.

You should be having the conversations all along whether there is a weight issue or not. Here's why we eat some foods in moderation, here's why we don't drink sodas at every meal, here's why it's important to get physical exercise. And yes, it's a broader conversation than weight. It's about your body feeling good. It's about your teeth staying healthy. It's about why does my stomach hurt when I eat too much crappy food.

These are all the time conversations, not my kid is fat now I should say something conversations.

lol

That doesn't really kick in until your 30s+. Totally irrelevant for kids or 20-somethings.

Kids don't get cavities or get diarrhea from eating too much ice cream and candy? Or an energy crash after a sugar binge? Those things have happened to my kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I guarantee you will give her a lifelong weight complex if you bring it up. Honestly how would you feel if she got an eating disorder?

If her pediatrician isn’t worried at her annual checkups you shouldn’t be worried either.

Oh sorry I didn’t see that the pediatrician said something

Honestly I would consider a different pediatrician. A pot belly sounds totally normal. If two say there is an issue, okay. But even then, be so careful about encouraging her to focus on weight in any way at all. Dieting leads to weight gain and I’m guessing that’s the last thing you want.

Better to be fat than sad, according to you.

Children's weight is something that parents can affect. When a pediatrician brings it up, then listen. Don't dump the doctor and find a different one.

Yes it’s better to be fat than sad. And it’s called getting a second opinion, people do it all the time.

Forty percent of adults are obese and an additional 30% are overweight. Twenty percent of children are obese.

Why do you assume that the doctor was wrong to notice the child's weight or weight gain? It's a very touchy subject and many doctors will ignore overweight/obesity. Few will point it out incorrectly.

The question is what is to be done about obesity? Everybody is on a diet, everybody knows that they shouldn’t be sedentary and eat junk, the fitness industry is booming, but the problem of obesity keeps growing (pun not intended). Whatever the medical community is doing isn’t working. Most of the time it just backfires and gives people anxiety about their appearance which they soothe by eating. Or they rebel against somebody telling them what to eat by...eating.

My pediatrician just asks my kids what they like to eat and what kinds of activities they’re doing. My daughter has a high BMI but she is very active and likes broccoli so we aren’t worried. No focus on weight or her pot belly.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I guarantee you will give her a lifelong weight complex if you bring it up. Honestly how would you feel if she got an eating disorder?

If her pediatrician isn’t worried at her annual checkups you shouldn’t be worried either.

Oh sorry I didn’t see that the pediatrician said something

Honestly I would consider a different pediatrician. A pot belly sounds totally normal. If two say there is an issue, okay. But even then, be so careful about encouraging her to focus on weight in any way at all. Dieting leads to weight gain and I’m guessing that’s the last thing you want.

Better to be fat than sad, according to you.

Children's weight is something that parents can affect. When a pediatrician brings it up, then listen. Don't dump the doctor and find a different one.

Yes it’s better to be fat than sad. And it’s called getting a second opinion, people do it all the time.

Forty percent of adults are obese and an additional 30% are overweight. Twenty percent of children are obese.

Why do you assume that the doctor was wrong to notice the child's weight or weight gain? It's a very touchy subject and many doctors will ignore overweight/obesity. Few will point it out incorrectly.

The question is what is to be done about obesity? Everybody is on a diet, everybody knows that they shouldn’t be sedentary and eat junk, the fitness industry is booming, but the problem of obesity keeps growing (pun not intended). Whatever the medical community is doing isn’t working. Most of the time it just backfires and gives people anxiety about their appearance which they soothe by eating. Or they rebel against somebody telling them what to eat by...eating.

My pediatrician just asks my kids what they like to eat and what kinds of activities they’re doing. My daughter has a high BMI but she is very active and likes broccoli so we aren’t worried. No focus on weight or her pot belly.

You haven't read any of the threads about children who are overweight or obese and how the parents have successfully addressed it, with the guidance of doctors?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I guarantee you will give her a lifelong weight complex if you bring it up. Honestly how would you feel if she got an eating disorder?

If her pediatrician isn’t worried at her annual checkups you shouldn’t be worried either.

Oh sorry I didn’t see that the pediatrician said something

Honestly I would consider a different pediatrician. A pot belly sounds totally normal. If two say there is an issue, okay. But even then, be so careful about encouraging her to focus on weight in any way at all. Dieting leads to weight gain and I’m guessing that’s the last thing you want.

Better to be fat than sad, according to you.

Children's weight is something that parents can affect. When a pediatrician brings it up, then listen. Don't dump the doctor and find a different one.

Yes it’s better to be fat than sad. And it’s called getting a second opinion, people do it all the time.

Forty percent of adults are obese and an additional 30% are overweight. Twenty percent of children are obese.

Why do you assume that the doctor was wrong to notice the child's weight or weight gain? It's a very touchy subject and many doctors will ignore overweight/obesity. Few will point it out incorrectly.

The question is what is to be done about obesity? Everybody is on a diet, everybody knows that they shouldn’t be sedentary and eat junk, the fitness industry is booming, but the problem of obesity keeps growing (pun not intended). Whatever the medical community is doing isn’t working. Most of the time it just backfires and gives people anxiety about their appearance which they soothe by eating. Or they rebel against somebody telling them what to eat by...eating.

My pediatrician just asks my kids what they like to eat and what kinds of activities they’re doing. My daughter has a high BMI but she is very active and likes broccoli so we aren’t worried. No focus on weight or her pot belly.

Yeah no. I've been on my kids' field trips and seen the shit people send in to feed their kids, including cans of Coke. I've seen kids snacking constantly and everywhere...at the library, at the pool, on the street, in the car, and on and on. School is filled with treats at all the major holidays, every birthday, etc. Everybody is most certainly NOT on a diet. Everybody is eating more than ever and eating more processed food than ever. This isn't some mystery why Americans are fat. Please.

[Anonymous]

Op please please for the love of everything do NOT say anything. And do NOT make comments on what she is eating, or tell her shes' eaten too much, or ask if she's SURE she needs more?? This will only give her eating issues and I PROMISE YOU it will most likely make her eat MORE not less. I know this sounds counterintuitive but shame makes us eat more.

I know you just want to help your daughter - I would recommend the first step as reading the book: Your child's weight: How to help without hurting by Ellyn Satter. But I would recommend not bringing the book into the house - and I'm serious. The title is bad, even though what ellyn satter teaches is usually good. If I was a young girl and I found that book on my parents bedside table I would feel terrible and it would take away anything you try to do to help. So find a way to read it without her catching wind.

Please read this - it will help and give you the tools you need!

https://www.amazon.com/Your-Childs-Weight-Helping-Without/dp/0967118913

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I guarantee you will give her a lifelong weight complex if you bring it up. Honestly how would you feel if she got an eating disorder?

If her pediatrician isn’t worried at her annual checkups you shouldn’t be worried either.

Oh sorry I didn’t see that the pediatrician said something

Honestly I would consider a different pediatrician. A pot belly sounds totally normal. If two say there is an issue, okay. But even then, be so careful about encouraging her to focus on weight in any way at all. Dieting leads to weight gain and I’m guessing that’s the last thing you want.

Better to be fat than sad, according to you.

Children's weight is something that parents can affect. When a pediatrician brings it up, then listen. Don't dump the doctor and find a different one.

Yes it’s better to be fat than sad. And it’s called getting a second opinion, people do it all the time.

Forty percent of adults are obese and an additional 30% are overweight. Twenty percent of children are obese.

Why do you assume that the doctor was wrong to notice the child's weight or weight gain? It's a very touchy subject and many doctors will ignore overweight/obesity. Few will point it out incorrectly.

The question is what is to be done about obesity? Everybody is on a diet, everybody knows that they shouldn’t be sedentary and eat junk, the fitness industry is booming, but the problem of obesity keeps growing (pun not intended). Whatever the medical community is doing isn’t working. Most of the time it just backfires and gives people anxiety about their appearance which they soothe by eating. Or they rebel against somebody telling them what to eat by...eating.

My pediatrician just asks my kids what they like to eat and what kinds of activities they’re doing. My daughter has a high BMI but she is very active and likes broccoli so we aren’t worried. No focus on weight or her pot belly.

Agreed pp - my nutritionist said that the solution is to focus on behaviors, instead of focusing on weight. Behaviors are usually actually a better indicator of health anyway (for example, activity level is a more accurate indicator of a lot of things we consider health indicators than weight is). Focusing on behaviors (eating nutritious food that you enjoy until you are full and most of the time not more than that, being active, drinking water etc) will usually lead to better health than focusing on weight that like you said often leads to shame and for some overeating or other restricting which just means not enough nutrition so still not great.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I guarantee you will give her a lifelong weight complex if you bring it up. Honestly how would you feel if she got an eating disorder?

If her pediatrician isn’t worried at her annual checkups you shouldn’t be worried either.

The pediatrician is worried op said .ridiculose to think saying something will cause issues. There already is an issue.

I would try and incorporate more exercise. Talk about portion control. If your still hungry after eating dinner get a second helping of fruit. Dont eat another steak and potatoes . 1/2 the plate should be fruit and veggies .

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I guarantee you will give her a lifelong weight complex if you bring it up. Honestly how would you feel if she got an eating disorder?

If her pediatrician isn’t worried at her annual checkups you shouldn’t be worried either.

Her pediatrician is concerned! READ the post. The pediatrician wanted a follow up appointment because she’s overweight. The wife wants to ignore the problem. The dad needs to make the appointment and DO SOMETHING.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I guarantee you will give her a lifelong weight complex if you bring it up. Honestly how would you feel if she got an eating disorder?

If her pediatrician isn’t worried at her annual checkups you shouldn’t be worried either.

The pediatrician is worried op said .ridiculose to think saying something will cause issues. There already is an issue.

I would try and incorporate more exercise. Talk about portion control. If your still hungry after eating dinner get a second helping of fruit. Dont eat another steak and potatoes . 1/2 the plate should be fruit and veggies .

There is not an issue unless they make it one. She's 8 or 9 years old. As I stated upthread, they should take a good long look at what they are eating and doing as a family before they say a word to this child. The comments that people make about your body stick with you FOREVER.

There are a lot of things they can do before they get to the point of telling a 3rd grader her tummy is fat, some of which you included. Plate the food. Half of the plate fruits and veggies. Eat fewer carbs as a family. As the cook, I cook "just enough" for things I don't want anybody having seconds of. "There is no more steak" is a lot different than "your tummy is too fat for more steak"or "you don't need anymore steak". See how that works? There are some things my kids LOVE and always want seconds of that are not great for them. I don't cook those very often, so when I do, the seconds are fine (and we don't see that for dinner again for a month or three).

[Anonymous]

I read a post either on here or on another mom group where a mom had success with an overweight pre-pubescent child by 1, eating a fruit and a vegetable at every meal and with every snack, and 2, ensuring her child got 90 minutes of physical activity a day. Which I believe was 60 minutes at home and 30 at school on school days. Nothing crazy, but walks, kids yoga videos, riding bikes, etc. all count. You could try something gentle like that - do it as a family so she doesn’t feel singled out.

[Anonymous]

Ask her doctor. Don't give her a lifelong complex of "being fat" and "having to diet" which doctors did to us back in the day. She may end up having a growth spurt, or she may even be eating some foods that aren't being digested properly and causing her stomach to swell (pot belly.)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I guarantee you will give her a lifelong weight complex if you bring it up. Honestly how would you feel if she got an eating disorder?

If her pediatrician isn’t worried at her annual checkups you shouldn’t be worried either.

The pediatrician is worried op said .ridiculose to think saying something will cause issues. There already is an issue.

I would try and incorporate more exercise. Talk about portion control. If your still hungry after eating dinner get a second helping of fruit. Dont eat another steak and potatoes . 1/2 the plate should be fruit and veggies .

There is not an issue unless they make it one. She's 8 or 9 years old. As I stated upthread, they should take a good long look at what they are eating and doing as a family before they say a word to this child. The comments that people make about your body stick with you FOREVER.

There are a lot of things they can do before they get to the point of telling a 3rd grader her tummy is fat, some of which you included. Plate the food. Half of the plate fruits and veggies. Eat fewer carbs as a family. As the cook, I cook "just enough" for things I don't want anybody having seconds of. "There is no more steak" is a lot different than "your tummy is too fat for more steak"or "you don't need anymore steak". See how that works? There are some things my kids LOVE and always want seconds of that are not great for them. I don't cook those very often, so when I do, the seconds are fine (and we don't see that for dinner again for a month or three).

Where on this thread did anyone, including the child's parent, ever suggest telling the kid her tummy was fat? I don't think anyone said that. Please correct me if I'm wrong.