3rd Grade DD Has a Pot Belly

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I was that 9 year old (with a skinny sister)

It’s a hard thing to navigate. My parents had really good intentions, though I have bad memories of my mom asking all the time if I was “sure I needed that third cookie.” She also encouraged an older cousin to take me running. And I remember a matter of fact conversation with my pediatrician. In the end though, it worked out. I’ve never been a skinny person but at 40 am reasonably fit and at the high end of weight for my height (always have been) but not overweight and have always had a pretty healthy body image at least compared to a lot of women I know.

The cookie comments may or may not have been helpful. Keeping junk out of the house, serving healthy foods (having fruit or veggies cut up and easy to access), encouraging activity, and otherwise raising me as a capable and confident kid all helped.

I mean...nobody needs a third cookie. It’s not wrong to tell a child “Let’s have a treat after dinner! Would you like one cookie or one lollipop?” Perhaps the error is in making 2 cookies the norm in the first place, where 3 is “just one more”.

Yeah, but...if everyone else got three Oreos and you are only commenting on one child’s choice...what does that say? Which is why the poster you responded to said to just not have the stuff in the hoise.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What I find is parents feed their children adult portions. What do you expect?

This is definitely part of it. Check the serving size on any prepackaged product and try just providing the serving size because it is a lot smaller than you think.

OP aid right to be concerned. In my DDs 3 rd grade class there we’re 20 girls (private school) and one had a pot belly at 3rd grade. By 8th grade, she was the only girl who was overweight. She got taller but she continued over eating so she got heavier as well.

[Anonymous]

Do you people think that if you don’t mention your kids they are gaining weight they will somehow not notice? By the time they are in middle school, mean classmates will make fun of them. Do you think this is better? Yes, of course you should eat healthy and not over eat, but unless you plan to lock food away, kids can eat while nobody is watching. You don’t buy any bad food, but they can still eat bread, cheese, yogurts, etc. good food, but in large quantities will make you gain weight.

Parents should absolutely try to help their kids in everything. If they are overweight, they need to fix the problem. One way or another. IT IS AN ISSUE

[Anonymous]

My cousin was always overweight as a child. It was definitely my aunts’ fault. She was VERY unhappy. At the beginning of high school my aunt took her to a dietician that recommended a really strict diet. My cousin lost the weight really fast, but the diet screwed up her metabolism. For a while she had to watch what she ate really carefully and could only eat very very little. She is in her 30s now. She is beautiful and thin. She still needs to watch what she eats, but is very happy that she is not overweight anymore. She hated being large and was very unhappy

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I guarantee you will give her a lifelong weight complex if you bring it up. Honestly how would you feel if she got an eating disorder?

If her pediatrician isn’t worried at her annual checkups you shouldn’t be worried either.

The pediatrician is worried op said .ridiculose to think saying something will cause issues. There already is an issue.

I would try and incorporate more exercise. Talk about portion control. If your still hungry after eating dinner get a second helping of fruit. Dont eat another steak and potatoes . 1/2 the plate should be fruit and veggies .

There is not an issue unless they make it one. She's 8 or 9 years old. As I stated upthread, they should take a good long look at what they are eating and doing as a family before they say a word to this child. The comments that people make about your body stick with you FOREVER.

There are a lot of things they can do before they get to the point of telling a 3rd grader her tummy is fat, some of which you included. Plate the food. Half of the plate fruits and veggies. Eat fewer carbs as a family. As the cook, I cook "just enough" for things I don't want anybody having seconds of. "There is no more steak" is a lot different than "your tummy is too fat for more steak"or "you don't need anymore steak". See how that works? There are some things my kids LOVE and always want seconds of that are not great for them. I don't cook those very often, so when I do, the seconds are fine (and we don't see that for dinner again for a month or three).

+1

If this is something that worries you, you address it by modifying your behavior as a family. Do not tell your daughter she is fat or has a potbelly or whatever. Yes, she knows what her body looks like, but words like that, from your parents who are supposed to love you and think you're beautiful no matter what, can be really devastating. Your job is not to focus on her appearance, but her health. Does she eat a balanced diet? Are there lots of junky snacks in the house? Does she have the opportunity to run around and engage in physical activity? Address those things.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here - thx for all replies lots to think about. tho a bit surprised many suggested me to make appt and take DD myself would that really be ok with DW I kinda doubt it.
We try to eat well and stay active but I think it’s really her diet like I said she likes to eat what/how much skinny big brother is eating and gets upset if she’s no getting the same things. Need to work on that front more.
I admit I was thinking to mention to her about her waist line coz I’ve read not to bring up her weight or how much she eats or on making healthy choices (good foods vs bad foods). I felt maybe shifting focus on her belly would be harmless. Yeah I’m clueless but DE is no help.

Well, why is your son eating junk food? It's not any healthier for him, it's just that you don't care because he doesn't have a belly.

Shifting focus to her belly will not be harmless. It may well cause serious harm. You focus on healthy diet and physical activity. (Also, there are not "good" foods and "bad" foods. The point is balance. There are foods you should not eat as often or as much of, but they are not "bad" foods.)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Don’t mention her waistline/belly. But don’t ignore it either. Obese children are high risk for lifelong obesity.

Take your child back to the pediatrician. She is your child and is therefore your responsibility as well as your wife’s.

Teach your daughter that she is smaller than her older brother and therefore cannot eat as much as him until she is his size.

Say no when she wants seconds when she has had enough. Say no when she wants junk food. Say no when she wants soda or candy. (Obviously let her have treats occasionally.) she is still too young to decide on her portions and diet.

And get her moving.

NO

Except for the getting her moving advice.

Are you fat? The daughter does not need to eat as much as her teen brother.

[Anonymous]

My dad helped coach my travel soccer team. I had an appetite like your DD. He gave me a love for fitness and passion for a sport.

We are always active as a family. My husband and I have always worked out almost daily. Our boys grew up seeing that and often joining in.

You will shape your kids food and exercise habits.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Did not read the comments, but she will outgrow it. My DD had potbelly through 4th grade and her face and thighs were super chubby through 6th grade. She is 8th grade now and beautiful - tall and thin/sporty (not as skinny as some of her peers though).

Interesting how you only now view your daughter as beautiful once she became thin.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Didn’t read the other comments..

I am assuming your DD has a bit of a belly but is not actually overweight? (As in, the ped has not said so)? I would not worry...

1) bodies come in different shapes and sizes- my twig of a DD- 5th grade- has a bit of a pooch (2) puberty may be upon you- starts so much earlier now

Realistically what can a parent do? Serve 3 reasonably healthy meals, limit snacks and treats, encourage (force! if needed) physical activity.

That is it. Do the above (with proper follow through and genuine attention) and let the chips fall. That is all you CAN do.

The rest is just noise.

If you and DH are slender she will likely grow out of it. If you aren’t - maybe not. But either way you’ve done your job. Not everyone is skinny.

Good idea to read before commenting. The OP stated the pediatrician is concerned.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Don’t mention her waistline/belly. But don’t ignore it either. Obese children are high risk for lifelong obesity.

Take your child back to the pediatrician. She is your child and is therefore your responsibility as well as your wife’s.

Teach your daughter that she is smaller than her older brother and therefore cannot eat as much as him until she is his size.

Say no when she wants seconds when she has had enough. Say no when she wants junk food. Say no when she wants soda or candy. (Obviously let her have treats occasionally.) she is still too young to decide on her portions and diet.

And get her moving.

NO

Except for the getting her moving advice.

Incorrect. All of this is exactly how OP should be handling his daughter. He needs to set appropriate limits and provide the right support. And that starts with 1) not eating the same as a teen boy 2) portion control 3) working with the pediatrician and 4) exercise. Simple as that. That’s not calling her a fatty or telling her she’s ugly. That’s setting the stage for healthy habits in her lifetime. All of this tiptoeing around and pretending it’s normal for kids to be overweight is why there are so many obese people and associated health problems.

[Anonymous]

The more I exercise the hungrier I get. I am average size for my height (5’3” and 118 lbs), but I need to watch what I eat if I don’t want to gain weight. It’s much harder to watch what I eat when I exercise. I am not sure if this applies to children too... most important element if you want to lose weight is calories deficit.
If you want your DD to lose the weight, you need to make sure that she won’t eat more if she exercise more...

[Anonymous]

A lot of girls do go through a chunky phase pre-puberty, and age 9 or 10 is about right for that. Keep up with activity and fruits and veggies and see what happens.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Is she due for another growth spurt. I know less about girls' growth cycles than boys but I know my tween and teen boys go through a cycle of putting on a little pudge and then shooting up another couple of inches (and the pudge goes away). One is 40th percentile BMI and one is 20th percentile BMI but they both get a pudgy middle before they put on height.

THIS! For so many kids I knew at that age who had a bit of pudge, they almost all shot up over the following few years and lost the pudge.

[Anonymous]

DD’d munch on fruits she likes but not veggies of any kind. Is that healthy habit long term as in into adulthood?