Picky eaters at friends houses

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Op here. Served a mushroom/vegetable casserole and salad. Friend has a history of getting “creative” for dinner parties. It was tough cause there were 6 kids under six...

The other kids ended up eating some of the noodles. Which was why she was angry because “her kids eat what they are served.”

Yes 3 yr old is NT.

I’m not offended. It’s actually a relief for other reasons. Just curious on the DCUM pulse.

No wonder! noodles>>> mushroom veg casserole. Sorry, but yuck. I like a lot of veggies, but just do not like mushrooms--or the flavor they spread--one bit. As her kids age, they may start hanging out and eating at their friends, and sneaking food via their starbucks cards, applepay, and the like.

[Anonymous]

I think you and your friend are both wrong. You are wrong for bringing food for your kid to someone else's house, and she is wrong for serving *just* a mushroom and veggie casserole and salad.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My kids are teens and would not eat a mushroom/vegetable casserole. Or any casserole. I can't believe your friend served that and was mad that the kids didn't want to eat it. Of course the kids didn't want to eat it!

Then the issue is with your teens, not the friend who served it. It's not like that is a different "ethnic" food with "weird" spices.

My teens would eat some of that casserole because we taught them to eat a variety of foods from early on and that you eat what you are served.

Barring any SN and spicy food, kids should eat a bit of what they are served. I don't like certain foods, either, but I will certainly eat a bit of something at a dinner, and so will my kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The last dinner party we went to the hosts had nothing for the kids to eat. Their kids are picky so I think they thought we'd just show up with our own kid food. My youngest asked for a snack so they gave him crackers and my oldest said he was fine waiting for dessert (which we had brought). It was bizarre.

You mean they only served alcohol or spicy foods?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I bet half the people saying you shouldn’t have brought the noodles are adults who are vegan or gluten free or paleo and think it’s only fair their hosts accommodate their preferences.

? nope. Some are saying your kids should just eat what is there. I accommodate dietary restrictions for SN or religion, not "because my kids don't like it".

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Op here. Served a mushroom/vegetable casserole and salad. Friend has a history of getting “creative” for dinner parties. It was tough cause there were 6 kids under six...

The other kids ended up eating some of the noodles. Which was why she was angry because “her kids eat what they are served.”

Yes 3 yr old is NT.

I’m not offended. It’s actually a relief for other reasons. Just curious on the DCUM pulse.

This doesn't fit with Satter, which she claims to do, at all.

[Anonymous]

Celebrate you will no longer have to put up with that craziness. I am married to a picky eater. He would not have eaten the vegetable casserole either. But here is the issue we run into. My DH would also be perfectly content to sit at the table and talk to everyone else while they ate. This is also never "allowed" by a host. The host will always make a big deal about finding something for him to eat. This will of course embarrass my dh which means the next time there is an event he will not want to go. I don't do the short order cook thing for our family but I will always make sure there are "plain" options. So if we are having pasta the sauce is on the side. We will have a roast with vegetables but not a stew where everything is mixed together. Casseroles will not happen ever. Your friend is crazy to make a casserole as the main dish and expect everyone to eat it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The last dinner party we went to the hosts had nothing for the kids to eat. Their kids are picky so I think they thought we'd just show up with our own kid food. My youngest asked for a snack so they gave him crackers and my oldest said he was fine waiting for dessert (which we had brought). It was bizarre.

You mean they only served alcohol or spicy foods?

No, they literally didn't make enough food for the kids to have any. It was a pasta dish that could barely be split among the 6 adults there. They didn't bother making plates for the kids. I offered my kids some off of my plate.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Y'all are suggesting leaving a 3 year old hungry? I don't now about other people's kids, but mine would have had an absolute meltdown if she were hungry, which would then ruin the dinner and any time spent together. IMO, prioritize making sure no one's throwing any fits over being hungry; it's mean to the child, and not a hill worth dying on.

I find that article to be *highly* judgmental. Most people do not go around announcing to the world, the struggles they're having with their child(ren). There are legitimate issues that cause people to feed their children the way they do. It's better to err on the side of grace, and be more accommodating, than to be that judgmental person that believes that what rules work for your family, must also work for everyone else's.

Yes, and that is why we taught our kids to eat a variety of foods, and not just kid friendly food. Makes traveling and going out to eat much easier.

My child, who grew up on ethnic foods, and eats a wide variety of it, might not like specific things served in someone else's house. She has textural aversions, and aversion to tart/bitter flavors (lemon, for instance). As a courtesy to them, and to save everyone misery, I always took foods with me that I knew she would eat, as a backup plan. It was better than giving them instructions on how to cook certain things, and what foods to avoid. Thankfully, my friends are nice people, and understood that kids don't come out of a cookie cutter mold, liking all the same things. Maybe because their kids mostly had different sets of issues than mine did, but none were these perfect, robotic, kids, that would eat everything that's put in front of them.

PP here.. I'm Asian. My kids also eat various ethnic foods, and that includes western food.

We go to a friend's for dinner pretty regularly, and they are of a different ethnicity and vegetarians, but my kids eat some of what they serve.

When I host a dinner, I do try to make something that I think most people would like, BUT, not everyone will like everything I make. One time I hosted a dinner where I had 6 different people with four different "I don't eat that" restrictions. I am never going to host another dinner with those six folks together ever again. That was crazy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The last dinner party we went to the hosts had nothing for the kids to eat. Their kids are picky so I think they thought we'd just show up with our own kid food. My youngest asked for a snack so they gave him crackers and my oldest said he was fine waiting for dessert (which we had brought). It was bizarre.

You mean they only served alcohol or spicy foods?

No, they literally didn't make enough food for the kids to have any. It was a pasta dish that could barely be split among the 6 adults there. They didn't bother making plates for the kids. I offered my kids some off of my plate.

OK, but that's a different issues... making not enough vs making something they don't want to eat.

[Anonymous]

If you are actually friends—-no one should care if you bring your kid food in a Tupperware. Seriously, if this bothered someone I wouldn’t waste my time or energy on a friendship.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My kids are teens and would not eat a mushroom/vegetable casserole. Or any casserole. I can't believe your friend served that and was mad that the kids didn't want to eat it. Of course the kids didn't want to eat it!

Then the issue is with your teens, not the friend who served it. It's not like that is a different "ethnic" food with "weird" spices.

My teens would eat some of that casserole because we taught them to eat a variety of foods from early on and that you eat what you are served.

Barring any SN and spicy food, kids should eat a bit of what they are served. I don't like certain foods, either, but I will certainly eat a bit of something at a dinner, and so will my kids.

In that case, my kids would eat salad. They would take a small bit and have a tiny bite to be polite but I honestly don't even know people who eat casseroles. It is a style of cooking that was in vogue in the 60s with a bunch of cream of mushroom soup cans of stuff.

I like casseroles but I would say that they actually are weird now. Sort of like how tomato aspic was ubiquitous and now it is a novelty.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think you and your friend are both wrong. You are wrong for bringing food for your kid to someone else's house, and she is wrong for serving *just* a mushroom and veggie casserole and salad.

ITA, but I wouldn't be offended if they brought over their own food, but I would think your kid is kinda difficult.

I think it's ridiculous that so many parents cater to their children's pickiness absent any SN.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Y'all are suggesting leaving a 3 year old hungry? I don't now about other people's kids, but mine would have had an absolute meltdown if she were hungry, which would then ruin the dinner and any time spent together. IMO, prioritize making sure no one's throwing any fits over being hungry; it's mean to the child, and not a hill worth dying on.

I find that article to be *highly* judgmental. Most people do not go around announcing to the world, the struggles they're having with their child(ren). There are legitimate issues that cause people to feed their children the way they do. It's better to err on the side of grace, and be more accommodating, than to be that judgmental person that believes that what rules work for your family, must also work for everyone else's.

Yes, and that is why we taught our kids to eat a variety of foods, and not just kid friendly food. Makes traveling and going out to eat much easier.

My child, who grew up on ethnic foods, and eats a wide variety of it, might not like specific things served in someone else's house. She has textural aversions, and aversion to tart/bitter flavors (lemon, for instance). As a courtesy to them, and to save everyone misery, I always took foods with me that I knew she would eat, as a backup plan. It was better than giving them instructions on how to cook certain things, and what foods to avoid. Thankfully, my friends are nice people, and understood that kids don't come out of a cookie cutter mold, liking all the same things. Maybe because their kids mostly had different sets of issues than mine did, but none were these perfect, robotic, kids, that would eat everything that's put in front of them.

PP here.. I'm Asian. My kids also eat various ethnic foods, and that includes western food.

We go to a friend's for dinner pretty regularly, and they are of a different ethnicity and vegetarians, but my kids eat some of what they serve.

When I host a dinner, I do try to make something that I think most people would like, BUT, not everyone will like everything I make. One time I hosted a dinner where I had 6 different people with four different "I don't eat that" restrictions. I am never going to host another dinner with those six folks together ever again. That was crazy.

pp is sharing that she has a child with texture aversions. At some point you need to realize that your children are able to eat some of everything because you got lucky. It really isn't parenting. We are also an Asian american family and I have one kid who eats everything and one kid with texture issues.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My kids are teens and would not eat a mushroom/vegetable casserole. Or any casserole. I can't believe your friend served that and was mad that the kids didn't want to eat it. Of course the kids didn't want to eat it!

Then the issue is with your teens, not the friend who served it. It's not like that is a different "ethnic" food with "weird" spices.

My teens would eat some of that casserole because we taught them to eat a variety of foods from early on and that you eat what you are served.

Barring any SN and spicy food, kids should eat a bit of what they are served. I don't like certain foods, either, but I will certainly eat a bit of something at a dinner, and so will my kids.

In that case, my kids would eat salad. They would take a small bit and have a tiny bite to be polite but I honestly don't even know people who eat casseroles. It is a style of cooking that was in vogue in the 60s with a bunch of cream of mushroom soup cans of stuff.

I like casseroles but I would say that they actually are weird now. Sort of like how tomato aspic was ubiquitous and now it is a novelty.

That dish is an unusual one to serve at a dinner party, but that's the thing, you never what kind of food is going to be available where you are so you teach your kids to eat what's available.

We travel to foreign countries, and many of restaurants in those countries don't have a kid menu or what Americans would consider "kid friendly" food.