Picky eaters at friends houses

[Anonymous]

I would be relieved that there was something your kid was able to eat. I hate when people come, their kid doesn’t like the food I made, and then my sense of hospitality has me making the kid pb&j or grilled cheese while everyone else proceeds with dinner in the other room. Your friend is being absurd if she’s having such a strong reaction. In her case I would have asked what things your kid will eat, so that next time I could include something from that list in the menu.

[Anonymous]

Parent here with SN teen. Still picky, though much better now. In the early years, we'd bring "just in case" food with us to a friend's home or out to eat (side note-DH big ordered of expensive food and drink, so we not ripping of resturant and spending less than any table around us, for sure). Really good friends would actually ask me, "would DS eat X if I provided it for him?" Probably took 10 extra min. and it was so appreciated. Those friends tend to become long-term friends. And yes, those who remained childless or were less flexibly, we tended to see out for dinner (with DS home with sitter) or, they fell by the wayside.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This article resonated with me but I had the opposite reaction. Polling DCUM.

I had a friend get pissed at me for bringing some emergency noodles for my picky 3 yr old. I figured a little Tupperware to supplement food that DD would not eat wasn’t going to harm anyone.

Well, They do Ellyn Satter eating with their kids...which I didn’t know so this did not go over well and we are now not invited to dinner anymore. (Which is fine with me. Restaurants will do)

Thoughts? Pro or con kids meals?

https://slate.com/human-interest/2020/01/should-i-indulge-picky-eaters-care-and-feeding.html

P.s. If they really did this, do not meet them out to eat. Real friends, who are nice people, do not remove friends from their dinner invite list.

[Anonymous]

For a 3 year old, fine. I actually wouldn't care for any age at this point. When you host people you try to make them feel welcome, not miserable. That being said, I tell my kids to eat what is served or just say they aren't too hungry and plan to eat at home later (they are not 3).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Y'all are suggesting leaving a 3 year old hungry? I don't now about other people's kids, but mine would have had an absolute meltdown if she were hungry, which would then ruin the dinner and any time spent together. IMO, prioritize making sure no one's throwing any fits over being hungry; it's mean to the child, and not a hill worth dying on.

I find that article to be *highly* judgmental. Most people do not go around announcing to the world, the struggles they're having with their child(ren). There are legitimate issues that cause people to feed their children the way they do. It's better to err on the side of grace, and be more accommodating, than to be that judgmental person that believes that what rules work for your family, must also work for everyone else's.

Yes, and that is why we taught our kids to eat a variety of foods, and not just kid friendly food. Makes traveling and going out to eat much easier.

My child, who grew up on ethnic foods, and eats a wide variety of it, might not like specific things served in someone else's house. She has textural aversions, and aversion to tart/bitter flavors (lemon, for instance). As a courtesy to them, and to save everyone misery, I always took foods with me that I knew she would eat, as a backup plan. It was better than giving them instructions on how to cook certain things, and what foods to avoid. Thankfully, my friends are nice people, and understood that kids don't come out of a cookie cutter mold, liking all the same things. Maybe because their kids mostly had different sets of issues than mine did, but none were these perfect, robotic, kids, that would eat everything that's put in front of them.

[Anonymous]

Your friend is not a nice person.

[Anonymous]

Curious, what was served for dinner?

[Anonymous]

Op here. Served a mushroom/vegetable casserole and salad. Friend has a history of getting “creative” for dinner parties. It was tough cause there were 6 kids under six...

The other kids ended up eating some of the noodles. Which was why she was angry because “her kids eat what they are served.”

Yes 3 yr old is NT.

I’m not offended. It’s actually a relief for other reasons. Just curious on the DCUM pulse.

[Anonymous]

3 year old fine. 5 year old, I am judging you, even if you are my friend.

[Anonymous]

Your friend is an asshole so I can see why getting kicked off their dinner invitation list is probably a relief to you.

I can't believe the arrogance on this thread. My picky eater eats all kinds of things - including a lot of ethnic food - but has a big problem with a lot of the "kids" foods that people serve. He would rather die than eat a hot dog and there were years that he wouldn't eat pizza.

[Anonymous]

My kids are teens and would not eat a mushroom/vegetable casserole. Or any casserole. I can't believe your friend served that and was mad that the kids didn't want to eat it. Of course the kids didn't want to eat it!

[Anonymous]

Your friend is obviously an idiot

[Anonymous]

I bet half the people saying you shouldn’t have brought the noodles are adults who are vegan or gluten free or paleo and think it’s only fair their hosts accommodate their preferences.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I wouldn't have been pissed, per se, but I would have rolled my eyes at you if you brought supplemental food when invited to dinner at my house.
If your dear Larla doesn't want to eat what I serve, she will surely survive until you get home when you can give her the buttered noodles in the privacy and comfort of your own home.

I have one kid who will eat anything, and another who is pretty picky. But the picky kid certainly doesn't get to dictate the food on the table at someone else's house.

This! I have a very picky eater and we have always fed her before and after going somewhere to eat, whether or be a friend’s house or a restaurant. I never bring my own food for her.

[Anonymous]

The last dinner party we went to the hosts had nothing for the kids to eat. Their kids are picky so I think they thought we'd just show up with our own kid food. My youngest asked for a snack so they gave him crackers and my oldest said he was fine waiting for dessert (which we had brought). It was bizarre.