Son's ideas of beauty

[Anonymous]

If you are a former model and therefore have natural beauty, why are you wearing so much makeup that you look very "different" (your words)?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If you are a former model and therefore have natural beauty, why are you wearing so much makeup that you look very "different" (your words)?

NP but for those of us who are fair, some mascara, brow filler or blush can make us look noticeably different.

[Anonymous]

You are clearly into physical beauty and he is just picking that up. How many times does he hear you say stuff like " have to make myself pretty, have to put make up on, have to dress nice..."People don't pay attention to what they say, but kids do!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am a woman who never wears makeup, and this reminds me of a time I went to a family funeral and I chose to wear some makeup because I had injured my face recently in a roller blading accident. (I was in my 40s.) My slightly older than me cousin told me "Wow, you look great with makeup! You should wear it more often!" I looked him up and down in his funeral suit and said, "Thanks! You look pretty hot in that monkey suit you're wearing, maybe you should dress like that everyday!" That topic never came up again.

Great opportunity to be pointlessly b!tchy. Well done.

[Anonymous]

Kids tell the truth

[Anonymous]

when a woman chooses to wear makeup at work, it “increases people’s perceptions of a woman’s likability, her competence and (provided she does not overdo it) her trustworthiness

[Anonymous]

It could be worse, you could have boob implants. Good luck explaining those to your modern son.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP again - thanks for the continued helpful comments! I think this one - “I like the way I look with makeup on too! But I have more important things to do than spend time putting it on every single day.” - is a great approach and will try that.

I find it interesting that because I'm a former model and like to wear makeup that some people have assumed I place immense value on my appearance. That's not the case. I only mentioned the former model piece because some folks seemed to assume I wear makeup because I am insecure in my appearance, which I am not and never have been.

FWIW, my son is very striking looking and people unfortunately comment on that sometimes. I want him to know that a person's personality, work, character, and a million other things are more important than how they look.

Thanks to all who provided constructive feedback!

so here’s a hint: if you believe what you wrote ... tell him that.

Models are famously insecure about their appearances and constantly told they fall short/look wrong, are you kidding me? You’re lying about the modeling and anyone who ever worked in the industry would never cite a correlation between modeling and belief in one’s beauty.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP again - thanks for the continued helpful comments! I think this one - “I like the way I look with makeup on too! But I have more important things to do than spend time putting it on every single day.” - is a great approach and will try that.

I find it interesting that because I'm a former model and like to wear makeup that some people have assumed I place immense value on my appearance. That's not the case. I only mentioned the former model piece because some folks seemed to assume I wear makeup because I am insecure in my appearance, which I am not and never have been.

FWIW, my son is very striking looking and people unfortunately comment on that sometimes. I want him to know that a person's personality, work, character, and a million other things are more important than how they look.

Thanks to all who provided constructive feedback!

so here’s a hint: if you believe what you wrote ... tell him that.

Models are famously insecure about their appearances and constantly told they fall short/look wrong, are you kidding me? You’re lying about the modeling and anyone who ever worked in the industry would never cite a correlation between modeling and belief in one’s beauty.

And no one’s more panicked about losing their looks that an aging model.

[Anonymous]

OP here - appreciate the continued helpful responses. I am a little surprised at how many folks continue to want to bash my self esteem, appearance, etc. but maybe I shouldn't be.

I have zero issues with my appearance (including aging, thanks), and I'm not sorry about it, either, so those of you who have issues with my being attractive, or choosing to wear minimal makeup when I want, can go take your concerns somewhere else.

Just trying to raise a healthy, respectful young man and appreciate all the responses that were on point.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am a woman who never wears makeup, and this reminds me of a time I went to a family funeral and I chose to wear some makeup because I had injured my face recently in a roller blading accident. (I was in my 40s.) My slightly older than me cousin told me "Wow, you look great with makeup! You should wear it more often!" I looked him up and down in his funeral suit and said, "Thanks! You look pretty hot in that monkey suit you're wearing, maybe you should dress like that everyday!" That topic never came up again.

Great opportunity to be pointlessly b!tchy. Well done.

NP. No, it was a good come back to an inappropriate statement.

You get the eyeroll, PP.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here - appreciate the continued helpful responses. I am a little surprised at how many folks continue to want to bash my self esteem, appearance, etc. but maybe I shouldn't be.

I have zero issues with my appearance (including aging, thanks), and I'm not sorry about it, either, so those of you who have issues with my being attractive, or choosing to wear minimal makeup when I want, can go take your concerns somewhere else.

Just trying to raise a healthy, respectful young man and appreciate all the responses that were on point.

I am pp who said that maybe you talk about beauty in a certain way. But, I did not put down models. Who puts down models? Nasty, ugly, depressed and envious women! I am not a model, but I know a lot of beautiful, stunning looking women, my own sister included. She has never been worried about losing her "looks." I am not bad looking myself, and I never worry about it, but I was a bit of a tomboy, still maybe am and don't pay attention to make up and such.
If you have a dd, be careful about what you say about appearance even when she is young. My mom went on and on about wanting me to die my hair, do more make up, dress better(she was that perfect hair and clothes working mom) and it left an impression on me that I am not pretty enough, not good enough, etc...Heck my sister looks like Charlize Theron, and even sister got some "not looking good enough, unless I go to lengths complex." So, if you have a dd in the future, don't be my mom. Do you know how other people look at my sister is she says something like "I look terrible today." Like she is fishing for compliments, but she is just genuinely insecure because of mom! (Anyway, sorry, more of rant about my mom, than anything on you, she messes us up!) For all I know you never utter a word about beauty around your son.

[Anonymous]

Whenever my daughter comments on things like my makeup, the clothes I'm wearing, etc, I try to frame it as something that is fun / that I do because I enjoy it. Like, she likes her sparkly shoes, they are fun and make her happy - that's how I feel about my red lips! Aren't they fun! They make me happy. That kind of stuff.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My 6 year old tells me that I don't need make up to look pretty. As soon as I am ready to swoon with love, she then says "but I wish you were 25. You'd be really cute if you were still 25 instead of 42."

Whomp Whomp. Kids are mean

This is 100% learned. Kids don’t intrinsically believe 25 is cuter than 42.

Kid is obviously doing it to get a rise out of you and it’s working perfectly.

Calm down Dr. Phil. She says it because in math they group a lot of things by "rows". I am significantly older than her dad, so his younger sisters - her paternal aunts are all in their 20's and are beautiful women. She thinks of them as beautiful as it relates to the "20's row" and therefore 25 is a perfect age to be at your peak of beauty.

Not a bad theory because I was the shiiiiiiiiiiit when I was 25. I'm still a hot mama now, but there's nothing like 25 year old skin and 25 year old knees

But the kid thinks you’d look better younger, no?

Hahaha “hot mama” Who is yearning for the days when she was 25...

Whatever helps you sleep at night...

[Anonymous]

I am pp who said that maybe you talk about beauty in a certain way. But, I did not put down models. Who puts down models? Nasty, ugly, depressed and envious women! I am not a model, but I know a lot of beautiful, stunning looking women, my own sister included. She has never been worried about losing her "looks." I am not bad looking myself, and I never worry about it, but I was a bit of a tomboy, still maybe am and don't pay attention to make up and such.
If you have a dd, be careful about what you say about appearance even when she is young. My mom went on and on about wanting me to die my hair, do more make up, dress better(she was that perfect hair and clothes working mom) and it left an impression on me that I am not pretty enough, not good enough, etc...Heck my sister looks like Charlize Theron, and even sister got some "not looking good enough, unless I go to lengths complex." So, if you have a dd in the future, don't be my mom. Do you know how other people look at my sister is she says something like "I look terrible today." Like she is fishing for compliments, but she is just genuinely insecure because of mom! (Anyway, sorry, more of rant about my mom, than anything on you, she messes us up!) For all I know you never utter a word about beauty around your son.

OP here - I appreciate this perspective, thanks! I try to be conscious that when we do discuss appearance, I try to frame it in the context of other things. Like, "Thank you, I like to dress nicely for work, but what I really like about my job is helping people..." etc.

No DD but will keep that in mind anyway!