Son's ideas of beauty
![[Post New]](/jforum/templates/default/images/icon_minipost_new.gif){kind=icon}
Anonymous
100% |
Anonymous
|
Whenever my 6 and 4 year-olds say something curious like this, I respond by saying, "What makes you say that?" or "What makes you think that?" Sometimes I get a response that I was not at all expecting. We adults tend to assume we know the reasons our kids say what they do.
It could be that on the days you wear makeup, you also put on nice clothes and do your hair - and maybe it's the overall effect of how you look on those days that makes you look prettier. Maybe it's not just the makeup. Next time he says this, just ask him why he thinks that and you may have a better understanding of what he's thinking. Then you can determine the most appropriate response. |
Anonymous
This is 100% learned. Kids don’t intrinsically believe 25 is cuter than 42. Kid is obviously doing it to get a rise out of you and it’s working perfectly. |
Anonymous
He's a little young for this, but my 11 yr old was watching spider man with us recently and there was a scene where spider man tells mary jane that she looks really pretty. She replies, "And therefore I have value?" and then conversation continues. It is hilarious. My 11 yr old ds who notices when I wear make up thought it was funny and THEN even quoted it a few days later when I told him he was so adorable. HA HA. I don't know what I would say to a 5 yr old. My ds compliments me when I wear make up but he doesn't tell me I look bad without it. You should probably say something to your ds so he knows this isn't something to tell his kindergarten teacher or other people! This is the video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VizcqnTU2dM |
Anonymous
OP, I don't disagree with your premise, but if you were a former model you are undoubtedly more into your appearance than most mothers. That's not a BAD thing per se, but it may affect the image you're presenting (as a mother and in the world at large), so be aware of the consequences of that. That said, my 6 year old told me this morning that all grownups have giant butts, so sometimes kids just say stuff. |
Anonymous
|
When my son was 5 he told me that he didn’t know how to choose who to marry because all the women and girls are so beautiful- Grandma is beautiful and Auntie Larla is beautiful and I’m beautiful and his friends at school are beautiful.
/humblebrag over BUT SERIOUSLY WHO CARES HE IS 5! I don’t wear makeup a lot but I don’t think anyone “modeled” for him that every female in the world is attractive either! I might have the bigger problem than OP sooner or later! Lol |
Anonymous
This, although one could argue that makeup only makes you look prettier if you know how to apply it, which is a skill that takes mastering. I'd work on teaching how to give a proper compliment, not a backhanded one. |
Anonymous
So, in other words, you value you appearance immensely and your son is learning exactly that. That it matters. |
Anonymous
| My 8yo thinks I look better without makeup. I wouldn’t take it too personally. |
Anonymous
|
“I like the way I look with makeup on too! But I have more important things to do than spend time putting it on every single day.”
Because isn’t that the truth? And then he’ll know that while beauty is nice, other things are more important. |
Anonymous
Calm down Dr. Phil. She says it because in math they group a lot of things by "rows". I am significantly older than her dad, so his younger sisters - her paternal aunts are all in their 20's and are beautiful women. She thinks of them as beautiful as it relates to the "20's row" and therefore 25 is a perfect age to be at your peak of beauty. Not a bad theory because I was the shiiiiiiiiiiit when I was 25. I'm still a hot mama now, but there's nothing like 25 year old skin and 25 year old knees |
Anonymous
|
OP again - thanks for the continued helpful comments! I think this one - “I like the way I look with makeup on too! But I have more important things to do than spend time putting it on every single day.” - is a great approach and will try that.
I find it interesting that because I'm a former model and like to wear makeup that some people have assumed I place immense value on my appearance. That's not the case. I only mentioned the former model piece because some folks seemed to assume I wear makeup because I am insecure in my appearance, which I am not and never have been. FWIW, my son is very striking looking and people unfortunately comment on that sometimes. I want him to know that a person's personality, work, character, and a million other things are more important than how they look. Thanks to all who provided constructive feedback! |
Anonymous
| I am a woman who never wears makeup, and this reminds me of a time I went to a family funeral and I chose to wear some makeup because I had injured my face recently in a roller blading accident. (I was in my 40s.) My slightly older than me cousin told me "Wow, you look great with makeup! You should wear it more often!" I looked him up and down in his funeral suit and said, "Thanks! You look pretty hot in that monkey suit you're wearing, maybe you should dress like that everyday!" That topic never came up again. |
Anonymous
so here’s a hint: if you believe what you wrote ... tell him that. |
Anonymous
But the kid thinks you’d look better younger, no? |