Is everyone into polyamory or random kinks or are Slate’s advice columns just weird?

[Anonymous]

No.
Same for most of Netflix. No everyone is not bisexual.

[Anonymous]

As a public service:
Experts brace for more super-resistant gonorrhea
http://www.cidrap.umn.edu/news-perspective/2018/09/experts-brace-more-super-resistant-gonorrhea

https://www.cdc.gov/std/gonorrhea/arg/default.htm

[Anonymous]

I think kink has gone more mainstream, yes and that it looks like more people who perhaps would not go there twenty years ago, may. I also think though, that there is a tendency to think fewer people are monogamous and in traditional marriages than there are too. I think many are and many aim for long term monogamy...its tricky. It reminds me of how when I worked in a college setting, the students tended to think most students were binge drinkers. Many were. Many abstained too. It varied.

[Anonymous]

You don't hear as much about the happier, monogamous couples or marriages especially long termers....it's boring to outsiders I think.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As a man who has been on dating apps for many, many years, the past couple of years has brought a slew of non-monogamous women onto these apps, and not just Tinder. These are normal, everyday looking women, often pictured with their husbands or boyfriends in their profile. Many with kids. It's a tidal wave now and almost considered the new normal.

This is scary to me but I'm terrified of herpes. And condoms do not protect you from it.

For your own sake - please be better informed

I am very informed and not taking that 4% chance. If you are a guy, you're a huge idiot or already infected, as they are effective 65% of the time.
The only true protection is to be in a monogamous relationship with a healthy, non infected person.

Go argue with NIH
https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC4725379/

https://www.cdc.gov/std/herpes/stdfact-herpes.htm

https://www.webmd.com/genital-herpes/news/20090713/condoms-help-cut-risk-of-genital-herpes

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As a man who has been on dating apps for many, many years, the past couple of years has brought a slew of non-monogamous women onto these apps, and not just Tinder. These are normal, everyday looking women, often pictured with their husbands or boyfriends in their profile. Many with kids. It's a tidal wave now and almost considered the new normal.

This is scary to me but I'm terrified of herpes. And condoms do not protect you from it.

For your own sake - please be better informed

I am very informed and not taking that 4% chance. If you are a guy, you're a huge idiot or already infected, as they are effective 65% of the time.
The only true protection is to be in a monogamous relationship with a healthy, non infected person.

Go argue with NIH
https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC4725379/

https://www.cdc.gov/std/herpes/stdfact-herpes.htm

https://www.webmd.com/genital-herpes/news/20090713/condoms-help-cut-risk-of-genital-herpes

Heroes is incredibly prevalent but it’s not the hugest deal.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:As a public service:
Experts brace for more super-resistant gonorrhea
http://www.cidrap.umn.edu/news-perspective/2018/09/experts-brace-more-super-resistant-gonorrhea

https://www.cdc.gov/std/gonorrhea/arg/default.htm

PSA: educate yourself about kinks. Not everyone kinky has multiple partners. Many of the kinky things people do involved zero contact with bodily fluids. Often, it is a mostly mental and verbal kink.

DH and I are very kinky and very monogamous. We’re at less risk for STDs than the average “vanilla” DCUM couple with their APs.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Kinky people have always existed. Until very recently in the US, it was not discussed openly.

DH and I are kinky. I’m a female submissive masochist. I introduced him to BDSM. We’re also fine, upstanding citizens. Taxpayers. Civil servants. Active in church and neighborhood associations.

I think far more people want to practice long-term monogamy than will ever admit it. Most are probably short-term serial monogamists at heart. Others probably fit into some type of polyamory. U.S. society is not set up to support long-term triads/thrupples or other group relationships. But there are many partnered people practicing some form of non-monogamy, sometimes ethically, sometimes not. DH and are monogamous, but we know a couple people who are not. Interestingly, our kink social circle is almost exclusively monogamous couples. I think the swinger circles here must not overlap much with the kinky ones. Or the local swingers are very vanilla.

How do you have a "kink social circle" do you actually belong to a group that identifies as being into kink? Or is it that the people that you are friends with just happen to be into kinky sexual behavior? And if so, how would you know? I have no idea what my friends and their husbands do in the bedroom.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Very Normal suburban family here and we are a bit kinky. Love to see DH with other women . So fun.

This is way more than a bit kinky. And how do you actually find other women who want to have sex with your DH while you watch?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:No.
Same for most of Netflix. No everyone is not bisexual.

+1 ha.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm very involved in the kinky community. The ones who call themselves poly are a minority (although a very vocal minority for some reason) and you hear the most complaints from those who actually practice it about the problems in those relationships. OMG do they complain. From what I've seen, the so-called poly people are far from jealousy free. Don't believe the hype.

Is there really a kinky community? Do they actually label themselves this way? And what the heck type of behaviors are considered kinky? And unless you're looking for people to join in with your shenanigans, why would it be necessary to be part of a community?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think kink has gone more mainstream, yes and that it looks like more people who perhaps would not go there twenty years ago, may. I also think though, that there is a tendency to think fewer people are monogamous and in traditional marriages than there are too. I think many are and many aim for long term monogamy...its tricky. It reminds me of how when I worked in a college setting, the students tended to think most students were binge drinkers. Many were. Many abstained too. It varied.

Will someone please explain what kink actually is?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As a public service:
Experts brace for more super-resistant gonorrhea
http://www.cidrap.umn.edu/news-perspective/2018/09/experts-brace-more-super-resistant-gonorrhea

https://www.cdc.gov/std/gonorrhea/arg/default.htm

PSA: educate yourself about kinks. Not everyone kinky has multiple partners. Many of the kinky things people do involved zero contact with bodily fluids. Often, it is a mostly mental and verbal kink.

DH and I are very kinky and very monogamous. We’re at less risk for STDs than the average “vanilla” DCUM couple with their APs.

Well what the heck is it that you and your DH do?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No, but what you will find on the dating apps are a bunch men in "ethically nonmonogamous" relationships which basically means they are cheating on their wives but want to convince you that they have open marriages.

I'm sure some are cheating. But then why would they have to mention that they're ethically non-monogamous? If they're going to cheat, no point telling anyone that you're married or in a relationship. Seems counter productive.

I'm in a ethically non-monogamous relationship. I have it listed on my profile. Anyone that I talk to, I offer verification. You can speak to or meet my spouse if you're interested.

And it's not just men who are in ENM relationships. There are plenty of women on Bumble, Tinder etc who also are in ENM's and open relationships and they are upfront about it. In fact, OK Cupid actually has a section for people who are non-monogamous and seeking the same.

Plenty of people who are looking for 'traditional' relationship as well. I just don't bother reaching out to them because it's a waste of my and their time.

Because they want to seem like they are being honest and forthcoming. "See? I am telling you the truth about my situation, you can trust me!" meanwhile wife is at home thinking she is in an ethically monogamous relationship. Liars lie. You may be genuine but liars are using your situation as cover for their BS.

[Anonymous]

People still read Slate?