Is This Assault I Should Pursue?

[Anonymous]

I'm sorry this happened to you OP. It's obvious that you were assaulted bit it's probably not something you can legally pursue. Tell his wife, tell anyone you want (this is not your shame to carry), get counseling if you need it, and stay away from him.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:A knee to the groin is the best way to address this problem.

This. Although I would have probably been too caught off guard to do it, this would be the ideal reaction and then move on. I would not tell the wife or anyone else, personally. Move on with your life and be happy he's not your problem.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What is “the old shy smile”?

Yeah, what is that?

It is the sorority girl equivalent of “frat boy sorta way”.

I don’t know what that means either.

[Anonymous]

I would call the police. Sure, they may not be able to do anything, but I would think that simply some police interest in his behavior may have a corrective effect.

It is likely that you are not the first person that he has done this to, and it is likely that he will do it again.

I would also not be shy about telling neighbors about this, although I'd try to be careful with his wife's feelings -- she's an innocent party here and probably in a fairly shitty place.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:A knee to the groin is the best way to address this problem.

Agreed.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm sorry this happened to you OP. It's obvious that you were assaulted bit it's probably not something you can legally pursue. Tell his wife, tell anyone you want (this is not your shame to carry), get counseling if you need it, and stay away from him.

This. I would tell everyone in the neighborhood. Don’t want it to happen to anyone else.

[Anonymous]

You should think about what you WANT to do, for yourself, and do that. You absolutely can report this to the police and they will probably go to his house and interview him about it, which could send a very strong message whether or not he’s charged. You could also skip the police and just go to the magistrate and swear out a warrant for assault & battery. Either way, a court case brings consequences to his life even if he’s never convicted. You have to prepare for the possibility he’ll deny it and think about how that will make you feel and if you want to go through it. But you can swear our an A&B warrant, he’ll have to get a lawyer, and he’ll face some consequences, probably not that serious, but some.

Also, I would expect that Alexandria police will take you seriously and not make you feel bad for reporting. They’ve got the time to do stuff like this. I don’t think they’ll minimize or discount your experience or tell you to just get over it. If you’re not in Alexandria then I wouldn’t necessarily say that.

[Anonymous]

Why didn’t you yell and get some immediate attention and help?

[Anonymous]

My own experience has been that you cannot tell anyone because his wife will blame you and people will take sides and the man will deny it.

Go for therapy and next time this happens, you grab their balls and twist it hard. That's what I have done and it is more satisfying then trying to explain what happened.

Proof - even on DCUM people are asking what "shy smile" means. so you will be judged. Women are also first class bitches.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It's our responsibility to take care of these situations on our own, when they happen. Arm yourself with words and, if necessary, actions.

I completely agree with this. I was at a party and a guy tried to kiss me and I put my hand around his throat and pushed him so hard and told him to get off of me. He backed away and *he* was the one uncomfortable for the rest of the night. I felt badass for reacting so quickly and defending myself. Had I not done that I would have felt victimized.

[Anonymous]

42yo man here. I would never dream of doing that and believe OP.

I’m truly asking: what would be an appropriate punishment? I wish there was a way for the victim to suffer without hurting his family.

[Anonymous]

PP, sorry not victim. OP is the victim. I mean the assaulter.

[Anonymous]

Call the police and let them do a report. This is not OK behaviornand if you don’t report it you’re an enabler and essentially allowing him to do this and worse to another woman. You obviously want to, which is why you started your thread, so trust your instincts and do be right thing. Don’t worry about his wife, she should leave him anyway.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why didn’t you yell and get some immediate attention and help?

Something like what happened to OP happened to me at a college party. I yelled and within seconds guys came running in and threw the guy out of the party. He tried to deny it but since the guys heard me scream they believed me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:A knee to the groin is the best way to address this problem.

This. Although I would have probably been too caught off guard to do it, this would be the ideal reaction and then move on. I would not tell the wife or anyone else, personally. Move on with your life and be happy he's not your problem.

Both people go to jail if you do that.