If your children haven't done as well as you thought they should have -- how would you change things

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Some DCUM posters seem to rip everyone apart for wanting big things for their children. I'm assuming that is because maybe their children haven't performed up to their
abilities. So to give others advice with younger children -- what would you advise them to do to avoid your/your child's pitfalls?

What a lovely invitation.

Actually it's just stupid. By definition most of us have kids who aren't in college yet -- or we wouldn't be on the private school board. Nor can we see into the future to know if our kids are going to turn into druggies and HS drop-outs (or, horrors, start hanging out with those public school kids).

My kids are both in top schools, getting straight A's, test in the 99th on things like the SSATs, do the CTY, and are good athletes, thank you very much.

Yet I have absolutely no idea at this point whether or not either of them will get into an Ivy (yes, we know that's what you mean by "success" because you are OP from the Ivies thread). But I'm certainly not as obsessed about it as you are.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Never, ever smoke crack with your kids.

Would you mind posting this on the "Preach Away" thread that the lunatic OP also started? I'm all for trashing that thread with inanities that make people smile 8)

[Anonymous]

In my next life, I plan to be proactive, as I decide on - through genetic engineering - not only the physical characteristics that define a successful person but the intellectual ones, too.

Oh - and of course I will either find a spouse who has "Ivy" genes (and looks good in his jeans) or will seek out a reputable sperm bank filled with Ivy DNA.

Wish me luck as I continue to evolve by creating the perfect "package."

[Anonymous]

My friend's Dad won a Nobel while we were in college and when they asked him the sperm donor question, he suggested that the DNA they should be after was his parents'!

Then again, what do you expect? His field was genetics, LOL! Luckily, my friend/his DC didn't take it personally.

[Anonymous]

How does everyone know these are the same OP? granted, the theme is the same, but if you think about the total picture of the threads ("Tell me how to get my kids into Harvard?" "You people who don't think this is a vlid goal, please specify the ways in which you are disappointed in your children/"), if this is the same person, wow I feel sorry for her kids.

[Anonymous]

I have 2 kids with special needs and I am proud of them every day, never disappointed in them (sometimes disappointed in all the therapy appointments and extremely unexpected high costs of said therapy). One of them could probably get into an Ivy (certainly smart enough) but I wouldn't strive for that for him (too much stress I would think) and the other will probably be able to finish some variation on high school and maybe have a career of some sort. My husband and I both have excellent educations, wonderful and nice jobs, live in a warm happy house, and would like to think we are generally very good parents (not perfect of course). They are in public school (in DCPS, shock and horrors) for the services but we assume we will have to move both of them to private schools eventually so they can continue to have their accommodations. What's my point? Neither of my children would meet the OP's definition of success and certainly wouldn't meet that of the Ivy seeker, but they meet my definition and that is all that is important. If your kids grow up happy, loving you, having friends, with a job they enjoy and a family if they want one, you have done a successful job.

[Anonymous]

Some parents seem to know what's best for their children. Success means different things to different folk...or should it be the same metric for all ...and why?

[Anonymous]

Now that Baby Mozart videos have been discredited for boosting IQ, I'm at a complete loss. Can anybody recommend a TV or DVD that I can park my toddler in front of, to boost her IQ?

[Anonymous]

No, I can't help in that department. I'm sure some entrepreneur will come up with another gimmick for the suckers.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have 2 kids with special needs and I am proud of them every day, never disappointed in them (sometimes disappointed in all the therapy appointments and extremely unexpected high costs of said therapy). One of them could probably get into an Ivy (certainly smart enough) but I wouldn't strive for that for him (too much stress I would think) and the other will probably be able to finish some variation on high school and maybe have a career of some sort. My husband and I both have excellent educations, wonderful and nice jobs, live in a warm happy house, and would like to think we are generally very good parents (not perfect of course). They are in public school (in DCPS, shock and horrors) for the services but we assume we will have to move both of them to private schools eventually so they can continue to have their accommodations. What's my point? Neither of my children would meet the OP's definition of success and certainly wouldn't meet that of the Ivy seeker, but they meet my definition and that is all that is important. If your kids grow up happy, loving you, having friends, with a job they enjoy and a family if they want one, you have done a successful job.

I'm so glad you posted this. I have a child with some special needs, too. It pains me to read these posts sometimes (my issue, I guess). It seems that some people on this board think my SN child is inferior. I guess if Ivy is all that matters, my SN child's life is useless, huh?

In reality, I think my child will ultimately be happier than most of your Ivy wannabies. I would't dream of putting that kind of pressure on her --even though I have high standards and expect a lot of effort in her endeavors.

I wish some people here could get a little perspective.

[Anonymous]

Like, let me see ... write a book about the need to get straight A's, high SATs, do crew or squash, and pretend to have a "passion"?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Like, let me see ... write a book about the need to get straight A's, high SATs, do crew or squash, and pretend to have a "passion"?

Oops, I was responding to 21:31.

[Anonymous]

One man's meat is another's poison or passion.

Heck, do what will make you and your children happy and I'll do the same.

[Anonymous]

The problem is, we don't have much confidence that you know how to make your kids happy. Clearly you know what will make you happy -- if they go to an Ivy. But that's totally different from making them happy.

[Anonymous]

Why do you say that? I guess you know what will make your kids happy and others don't? What presumption. I guess with your claim of erudition you are entitled to dictate to those what will make their children happy. Are you a communist?