Your dogs are NOT members of the family

[Anonymous]

Needed to also say ... you're boarding your dog. That should be hint enough. Stay strong!

[Anonymous]

OP - PLEASE for all of us ! Stay strong!! And please also be prepared to video if one of the nuts show up & try and pressure you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

OP congrats!! You discovered the loophole that will get you out of hosting for the rest of your married life! Whoop!

OP its probably bad but that is EXACTLY what is going through my head. Woo hoo for us!! I'm already getting labeled as bitchy by the dog faction because I am just bluntly saying no and not engaging them in any debate about it. It would probably be more diplomatic to lay it all on the allergic niece but we don't want those dogs in our house now anyway. Especially now after finding out that one will poop on the outdoor rug and the other is going to pee inside. Our dog is pretty mellow but I don't see him reacting well to coming home with his house and yard smelling like dog poo and pee. I drink heavily at family events even though I rarely drink. I hadn't noticed the apparent chaos these dogs cause at all the events.

Its about 40 people. MIL and SIL's family is staying with us for the weekend. The others are just driving in for the afternoon/evening or staying with other relatives that live closer. The dog faction makes up about 8 people if you include their kids and spouses. It will be fine with 32 instead of 40, IMO.

The cousin with the nippy dog is being the bitchiest. She told me that her dog has separation anxiety. If she leaves him he will destroy things in her house and once almost ate through her bathroom wall. She wanted to know if we will be prepped to compensate her for damage if that happens. I said absolutely not, her problem not ours. The aunt with the indoor dog is being the most entitled. She just can't fathom what has gotten into me not allowing her fur child. The other guy who I honestly am not even sure how he fits into this extended group is just a pompous idiot with all his let me educate you about dogs.

This is full-on, bat guano crazy. I honestly think I'd disinvite them all.

[Anonymous]

It's fine if you think your dog is a member of your family.

It is NOT fine to expect others to accept your animal as a member of your family. Not your relatives, not your neighbors, not strangers, not anyone. Leave your pet at home. Whatever you believe about your dog is fine, until it affects people.

[Anonymous]

HOLD YOUR GROUND, OP! HOLD YOUR GROUND.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Dear Smith Family,

We are looking forward to the BBQ. We hope this will be a fun and relaxing day for all of our family.

There will be NO DOGS at this party. If that changes your RSVP, we understand. Anyone trying to bring their dog the day of will be politely asked to leave. This is not changing.

We look forward to seeing those of you who can make it.

Stu, Rachel and family

FIFY and now it's perfect! OP does not need a reason to prohibit dogs. She may have started out doing it because of her DN's allergy but with all the blowback she's getting, I'd leave the DN out of it because, really, it makes no difference why dogs aren't allowed.

[Anonymous]

FFS, people your animals are not invited and here expressly not invited. Stay the hell home if you have all these issues. How do any of these people have any friends? It’s a ridiculous amount of entitlement. BTW, I have a cat and a dog and wouldn’t think of bringing them to someone’s house. Good luck, OP. You are in the right

[Anonymous]

MIL's thought of, "Give in to keep the peace" is NOT relevant --- not when you are the host.

Stand your ground. For this event. You could always adopt a different standard, in the future, for some other future event.

Emotional manipulation = the person who whines the loudest gets their way

Don't support that. Besides, it's an important lesson for your children. And actually, the details do not matter, it's the principle.

[Anonymous]

In our family we all bring dogs. But, we all have dogs and nobody is allergic.

Your situation sounds nuts, OP!!

I would be tempted to respond to the emails with

"We simply will not be having dogs at this event, not even my own. If that means you won't attend then perhaps we will see you next time."

[Anonymous]

Do these people have jobs? Go grocery shopping? I means dogs can’t go everyware.

[Anonymous]

I love my pets, but I do not bring them with me to events. It’s rude.

[Anonymous]

I love dogs — LOVE THEM — but this is nuts.

[Anonymous]

Hold firm. Do not engage. You’ve made a good decision. Stick with it.

[Anonymous]

Is it too late to change the venue to a restaurant that doesn't allow any animals except service animals? Barring that I think you're either going to have to allow the animals in or literally bar the front door.

[Anonymous]

Do these people have jobs? Go grocery shopping? I means dogs can’t go everyware.

I'm on the west coast and it has gotten ridiculous. Some people do brings their dogs everywhere. I have yet to go into a Starbucks, Costco, Home Depot, CVS, shopping mall you name it and not seen someone with a dog. I have seen people with cats, dogs in strollers, and dogs with clearly fake service training vests on. The other day in Starbucks a guy came in with a young Cane Corso wearing a service training vest. Yeah right. This is not a breed known for being a service animal recruit and the guy bringing him did not look like a trainer.

Serious question for those of you who bring your dogs to family events, do you ask each time? Do you ask other family members if they mind? It seems more common that dog bringers think it is just fine while there are other people trying to tolerate it or wishing that you hadn't brought the dog. It strikes me as incredibly rude to bring your pet to someone else's house.