Husband wants to go on a ski trip when I’m 7 or 8 months pregnant

[Anonymous]

What selfish idiot he is. Please tell him this from me.

[Anonymous]

Let him go alone. You stay home and nest.

[Anonymous]

Take a 5M insurance policy and send him to Himalayas.

[Anonymous]

Did you guys take a lot of ski trips together before this?

I don't think a ski trip in your final trimester would be much fun for either of you - it is kind of lonely if he is just riding lifts and skiing all day by himself. And you would be sitting around all day by yourself at a high altitude - not really worth the risks to hang out together in the evenings.

He should go with a friend and/or plan a separate trip that you can both participate in sooner than your final trimester.

[Anonymous]

He goes skiing without you. You do a girls trip then. Win-win.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Let him go without you, but I’m guessing you’re not giving him that option because everything is about you which is really why he’s upset. You would think you’re the first woman ever to get pregnant!

Wow, really? So she's just supposed to go on a vacation that she can't participate in? OP - he's being selfish. While you can certainly let him go on his own, I'm assuming the issue is more that you want to find a vacation that you can both enjoy before baby comes, which doesn't make you selfish or unreasonable. Could you leverage that into finding a super nice resort to stay where you can relax and get some quiet time but not be super bored all day? Maybe somewhere with a spa?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So? Have him go and take a buddy or two. And you can stay home, relax, and not listen to him complain. Sounds ideal!

+1

Yup. he goes. You stay home. Book a prenatal pregnancy massage. Hang out with friends. Watch movies he doesn't want to. Sounds great to me!

It sounds like he wants to drag her along and take trips like they used to.

I agree with the other posters - that part of life is pretty much over for many years. (Sure, you guys can cover for each other and take solo trips, but carefree couples weekends because you feel like it are done. There will be family trips and couple trips will be few and far between - AND they take TONS of planning for childcare.)

Agreed. Tell hubby to go himself or pick something more relaxing that the OP can participate in too.

[Anonymous]

OP here ... thanks for the wide variety of responses. I should have clarified that I am not opposed to him going for a day or weekend trip. He is now talking about a trip to Colorado (which was news to me). Which does not sound like a weekend trip. Nor, due to the elevation issues that PPs have raised, one that feels comfortable for someone who will be very pregnant at the time. We also don't have unlimited vacation time, or money, so I would like to spend the time and money that we do have doing something that we both want to do. Esp because it will be our last opportunity before the baby arrives.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Does he have:
- a really good life insurance policy
- short and long term disability insurance
- supplemental insurance (like Aflac)

You’re about to have a baby, and if he gets injured or worse in a skiing accident are you prepared to take care of a newborn, him, and yourself?

Do you freak out like this every time your spouse gets in a car? Cause odds are he’s more likely to be injured and disabled that way. Cut the dramatics.

If at 3rd trimester, OP’s DH is just realizing this might be his last chance to take a pre-baby adventure vacation, I don’t think it’s unreasonable to question if he’s thought out responsible preventative financial precautions. Yes, something could happen to him in a car, another reason why people with dependents need to have these safety nets in place.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here ... thanks for the wide variety of responses. I should have clarified that I am not opposed to him going for a day or weekend trip. He is now talking about a trip to Colorado (which was news to me). Which does not sound like a weekend trip. Nor, due to the elevation issues that PPs have raised, one that feels comfortable for someone who will be very pregnant at the time. We also don't have unlimited vacation time, or money, so I would like to spend the time and money that we do have doing something that we both want to do. Esp because it will be our last opportunity before the baby arrives.

I was all for him going...but how much PTO does he have saved up for when the baby is born? Because *that's* where his limited PTO needs to go.

One day to extend a weekend for skiing? Maybe, but not if he's only planning to spend a week or so home with you and the baby. Better to ski closer to home.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here ... thanks for the wide variety of responses. I should have clarified that I am not opposed to him going for a day or weekend trip. He is now talking about a trip to Colorado (which was news to me). Which does not sound like a weekend trip. Nor, due to the elevation issues that PPs have raised, one that feels comfortable for someone who will be very pregnant at the time. We also don't have unlimited vacation time, or money, so I would like to spend the time and money that we do have doing something that we both want to do. Esp because it will be our last opportunity before the baby arrives.

I was all for him going...but how much PTO does he have saved up for when the baby is born? Because *that's* where his limited PTO needs to go.

One day to extend a weekend for skiing? Maybe, but not if he's only planning to spend a week or so home with you and the baby. Better to ski closer to home.

Only a week at home with the baby? That seems like a lot to me, but that's a separate discussion I guess.

If he has his heart set on a trip out west and you are OK with it, if he goes to Utah instead of Colorado it really is doable for a long weekend. With the time zone change and direct flights, he can get in a half day, the day he lands plus 2-3 full days of skiing.

But I see your point about using limited vacation time and funds on a trip you can't really enjoy. If skiing has been a big part of your lives in the past, I kind of get it, but otherwise - pick something you can both do and then you don't have to wait until you are really pregnant.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here ... thanks for the wide variety of responses. I should have clarified that I am not opposed to him going for a day or weekend trip. He is now talking about a trip to Colorado (which was news to me). Which does not sound like a weekend trip. Nor, due to the elevation issues that PPs have raised, one that feels comfortable for someone who will be very pregnant at the time. We also don't have unlimited vacation time, or money, so I would like to spend the time and money that we do have doing something that we both want to do. Esp because it will be our last opportunity before the baby arrives.

I was all for him going...but how much PTO does he have saved up for when the baby is born? Because *that's* where his limited PTO needs to go.

One day to extend a weekend for skiing? Maybe, but not if he's only planning to spend a week or so home with you and the baby. Better to ski closer to home.

Only a week at home with the baby? That seems like a lot to me, but that's a separate discussion I guess.

If he has his heart set on a trip out west and you are OK with it, if he goes to Utah instead of Colorado it really is doable for a long weekend. With the time zone change and direct flights, he can get in a half day, the day he lands plus 2-3 full days of skiing.

But I see your point about using limited vacation time and funds on a trip you can't really enjoy. If skiing has been a big part of your lives in the past, I kind of get it, but otherwise - pick something you can both do and then you don't have to wait until you are really pregnant.

You think a new father taking A WEEK off after the baby is born is a lot? That says a lot about you.

[Anonymous]

OP-I’m a pretty selfish/self centered person so while I’d love for everything to be about me I truly don’t think this is as horrendous as you’re presenting. Either let him go by himself or go too and pamper yourself. The elevation at top of mountain might be an issue but the actual resort should not be. The only time I had an issue was when I was pregnant w/twins and was at 8500 elevation. If you’re worried-make your base at lower elevation and DH just has to deal w/getting in/out.

Frankly I’d take the time to just chill and let him go.

[Anonymous]

I still say DH goes solo or with a friend and OP takes her own break somewhere more comfortable for her. Also plan a long weekend away for both of you before week 36. You lives will change and having some time away helps to think through that.

That said, given your reasonable concerns about money and leave, DH should scale it back a bit.

[Anonymous]

If you have that baby prematurely in CO and it ends up in the NICU, let's just hope you aren't out of network. Happened to someone I know and the hospital bills were astronomical.