Trading off sleeping in on weekends

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Dh never got up with ds. Ever.

Same here. My DH never get up early for our 2 young kids. He sleeps in & wakes up past 10am every weekend, and then it takes him more than an hour for shower/brush teeth/get changed etc. He tells me that he is not a morning person, and he loves sleeping. He cannot handle 2 kids at same time.

Since the youngest one is 2 months old, I have been encouraging him to take care of his little girl. She is calm, sleeps all the time, really low maintenance. On weekend, after I feed & change the baby, I take the toddler boy outdoor for 2-4 hours. Most of the time, when I am back home, baby is still sleeping. I have not tried to take 2 kids out of the door by myself yet, afraid to screw up baby sleep pattern & afraid that the oldest acts out & runs away.

I’m thinking he wasn’t a big help when it was just the one kid. Somehow you continued to have unprotected sex with this dreamboat and have a second child. You need to drop the timid act: You’re “encouraging” the father of your child to take care of his baby. You’re “afraid” to take the toddler and baby out. You just accept his “I’m not a morning person” bs. Guess what, Jack, YOUR KIDS ARE.

Where do you find these men, and why do you allow this crappy disengagement from being a parent to continue?

[Anonymous]

FYI people who *cant* sleep in don’t like sleep any less than people who can sleep in. We just have a hard time staying asleep as long as we want because our internal clocks are very precise or we are sensitive to noises/light. Trust me, I LOVE sleep, but here I am at 6:07am on a holiday when the rest of my family is asleep and I’m on DCuM. Please don’t ever say “I like sleep” to refer to sleeping in. It’s not how this works.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:FYI people who *cant* sleep in don’t like sleep any less than people who can sleep in. We just have a hard time staying asleep as long as we want because our internal clocks are very precise or we are sensitive to noises/light. Trust me, I LOVE sleep, but here I am at 6:07am on a holiday when the rest of my family is asleep and I’m on DCuM. Please don’t ever say “I like sleep” to refer to sleeping in. It’s not how this works.

Yup. I'm just tired all the time and frankly it ruins some late afternoons, especially being pregnant.

I'm surprised by how many "let him sleep as long as he wants" posts there are, do you all just not do things until weekend afternoons, or take kids to swim lessons, soccer practice, church, etc alone?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:FYI people who *cant* sleep in don’t like sleep any less than people who can sleep in. We just have a hard time staying asleep as long as we want because our internal clocks are very precise or we are sensitive to noises/light. Trust me, I LOVE sleep, but here I am at 6:07am on a holiday when the rest of my family is asleep and I’m on DCuM. Please don’t ever say “I like sleep” to refer to sleeping in. It’s not how this works.

Yup. I'm just tired all the time and frankly it ruins some late afternoons, especially being pregnant.

I'm surprised by how many "let him sleep as long as he wants" posts there are, do you all just not do things until weekend afternoons, or take kids to swim lessons, soccer practice, church, etc alone?

But can't you realize that if you wake up early involuntary, someone else might be a night owl involuntary?
Yes, I hang out with kids by myself on many weekend mornings and we all enjoy it.

[Anonymous]

7:30 is sleeping in for us. No way I'd let my husband sleep in till 11 leaving me to attend to two young children solo.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:FYI people who *cant* sleep in don’t like sleep any less than people who can sleep in. We just have a hard time staying asleep as long as we want because our internal clocks are very precise or we are sensitive to noises/light. Trust me, I LOVE sleep, but here I am at 6:07am on a holiday when the rest of my family is asleep and I’m on DCuM. Please don’t ever say “I like sleep” to refer to sleeping in. It’s not how this works.

Yup. I'm just tired all the time and frankly it ruins some late afternoons, especially being pregnant.

I'm surprised by how many "let him sleep as long as he wants" posts there are, do you all just not do things until weekend afternoons, or take kids to swim lessons, soccer practice, church, etc alone?

+1. Our kids are elementary aged. We have to leave for lacrosse at 7:45 am on Saturdays (limited field space available, it is what it is), and church by 9:30 on Sundays. If DH slept in, I'd be juggling all that solo. Not happening.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My husband always has done the AM shift. I sleep as late as I want..noon, later...he doesn't mind.

You sound lazy. Sleeping till noon with kids. Great example for being a productive parent.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:FYI people who *cant* sleep in don’t like sleep any less than people who can sleep in. We just have a hard time staying asleep as long as we want because our internal clocks are very precise or we are sensitive to noises/light. Trust me, I LOVE sleep, but here I am at 6:07am on a holiday when the rest of my family is asleep and I’m on DCuM. Please don’t ever say “I like sleep” to refer to sleeping in. It’s not how this works.

Yup. I'm just tired all the time and frankly it ruins some late afternoons, especially being pregnant.

I'm surprised by how many "let him sleep as long as he wants" posts there are, do you all just not do things until weekend afternoons, or take kids to swim lessons, soccer practice, church, etc alone?

+1. Our kids are elementary aged. We have to leave for lacrosse at 7:45 am on Saturdays (limited field space available, it is what it is), and church by 9:30 on Sundays. If DH slept in, I'd be juggling all that solo. Not happening.

DH sleeps as long as he wants to on Sunday. I sleep in on Saturday. DH takes DS to tball on Saturday and I take DS to gymnastics on Sunday. No need for both of us to go. We don’t do church. But DS is 4 - maybe if he starts doing sports more seriously once he’s older we would both go.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My husband always has done the AM shift. I sleep as late as I want..noon, later...he doesn't mind.

You sound lazy. Sleeping till noon with kids. Great example for being a productive parent.

PP, you sound jealous. That’s not a good look.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My husband always has done the AM shift. I sleep as late as I want..noon, later...he doesn't mind.

You sound lazy. Sleeping till noon with kids. Great example for being a productive parent.

PP, you sound jealous. That’s not a good look.

Actually, sleeping till noon is a waste of a day.

[Anonymous]

Usually 8 am for us but we discuss the night before if someone really needs extra time or we have somewhere to go and need to be up sooner.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:till he wakes up, if that is 11am that's fine. same for me.

Same for us. Seriously, a kid can wait for pancakes.

[Anonymous]

To us-sleep in was as much ‘break from kid responsibilities’ as actual sleep. Ours are older now and the earliest sport commitments are closer to a 10:30 leave time but we gave each other the gift of a morning off each week. Some days it was all sleep-others time to putter at whatever we wanted without a kid on our back. Of course there were weekend
s where one or both days were too busy to do but I would not #1 consider 8:00 a sleep in and #2 talk to set up expectations. (wife here and had 3 under 5 at one point!)

[Anonymous]

I'm typically in the office before 7am so waking up around 6:30 on the weekends seems like sleeping in. The dog sometimes complies... sometimes we're up at 5:30. And that starts the day.

Once my brain is awake there is no going back to bed so I'll check the news and some emails, get the coffee going, get breakfast started for the family and maybe get some small stuff done around the house that the busy week didn't allow for.

My spouse and I don't keep score and understand when the other just needs to lay in bed as long as possible. We just both agree that if and when you get a chance to nap or sleep in, you CAN'T feel guilty about it or your wasting your time trying to rest. So own it.

We're a pretty good team and we both know when we need to put a little more on our plate to help keep everyone's sanity.

Signed,

The husband

[Anonymous]

Unless one of us is sick or had a really long day the day before due to work or chores, generally the idea is we hand off between 9-9:30. If we choose to sleep for that entire period, or get up, have a hot drink and some relax time before we trade off, that's the persons prerogative but if I sleep in til 9, it's with the expectation that I best be ready to take the kid before I'm fully awake.

Also 6:30-7 wakeup time here.