Trading off sleeping in on weekends

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:So your husband just expects you to take care of two small children by yourself all morning? I don’t understand why everyone is on team DH. At least one of our kids is generally up by 5. If I let DH sleep in until 8:30 I would expect him to be telling me how amazing and wonderful I am.

+1
My kids are up super early also. Whoever gets up at 5 gets a huge thank you from the parent that gets an extra 3 hours of sleep and wakes at 8!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't blame him. Buy some frozen pancakes and give to kid. Sleeping in means not getting up before 9 am. If you have to nurse--tough as he can't do this. I don't often feel sorry for men but with a wife like you, he needs all the sympathy he can get.

The kicker is that by her own account she'd been up with them since 7 but somehow hadn't fed the kid breakfast yet. Or she had but kid wanted second breakfast and THAT was worth waking up dad for.

Good Lord, how long does it take to put two pancakes in a toaster and give it to the kid? If he's still hungry, give him a banana or tell him to WAIT BECAUSE MOMMY IS BUSY FEEDING BABY! it is past time for OP to teach him the world doesn't stop for his wants. What a brat!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If you and DH each get one day to sleep in on weekends, how late do you each sleep in?

Our kids are typically up by 6:30 or 7 and when it’s my turn to sleep in I typically get up at 8. This morning was DH’s day and he was annoyed I let one of the kids wake him at 8:30 because he wanted to sleep longer. I was feeding the baby and our older one wanted pancakes but I couldn’t make them for a little while. DH said he doesn’t consider that sleeping in which I think is crazy.

Just curious how late others sleep in.

wanting pancakes is not an emergency. learn to parent your 3 year old and set limits. your husband is not crazy - at least not based on what you described above.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So your husband just expects you to take care of two small children by yourself all morning? I don’t understand why everyone is on team DH. At least one of our kids is generally up by 5. If I let DH sleep in until 8:30 I would expect him to be telling me how amazing and wonderful I am.

+1
My kids are up super early also. Whoever gets up at 5 gets a huge thank you from the parent that gets an extra 3 hours of sleep and wakes at 8!

I think the idea is that one spouse sleep in on Saturday and one spouse sleeps in on Sunday. This is how we do it in our home, at least, so it is equal. I am not an early riser and need/crave that one morning per weekend to sleep as long as I want/need. I'll sleep until 11 if given the opportunity. My DH does not want to sleep in, so he uses his weekend morning "off" to run errands or do whatever he wants. We both need a little time to ourselves on the weekend.

[Anonymous]

We are a two mom family, so my feeling from reading posts here and from reading all the articles published as of late about hetereosexual marriages is that we just fundamentally have a different dynamic as two women. Different expectations, no opposing gender stuff, etc.

That said, I always get up with the kids in the mornings on the weekend because I'm an early riser and go to bed earlier than DW. However, she typically doesn't sleep past 8 and if she does she is apologetic. Or, if she does it's been prearranged between us (I'll take the kids to the park/an activity/etc.).

When I get my chance to sleep in I usually can't go much past 7:30/8. I would actually prefer to get up early and have time for a nap later in the day.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP I agree with you! We sort of have an unspoken rule that whoever is sleeping in gets about 1.5-2 hours after the kids have woken up. So if the first kid wakes up at 6am, whoever is sleeping in should be up around 8am.

Mainly this is because the kids start to get stir crazy and nuts and we need to leave the house by 9am. We almost always do this as a family, so that's how it goes.

They key is that we sort of agreed this works best for all of us, kids included.

Well, OP's DH has apparently not "sort of agreed to an unspoken rule" that sleeping in ends when she is busy and the other kid wants pancakes.

OP, you came here wanting to get validation that 8:30 is "late enough". But you don't deserve that because every situation is different. Just because you always get up by 8:00 doesn't mean that your DH has to do the same. Talk and make a compromise.

[Anonymous]

We don't take turns. We're both parents. Occassionally if someone is sick we sleep in but typically everyone is up and moving by 7.

[Anonymous]

We don't have a set time, but generally 9 or 9:30am ish. We usually have some plans that begin at 10:30am or so, so both parents need to be up and ready to go by that time. I let the kids wake up my spouse at 45 minutes before we need to leave the house. Neither of us often sleep past 9:30am anyway.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Dh never got up with ds. Ever.

Same here. My DH never get up early for our 2 young kids. He sleeps in & wakes up past 10am every weekend, and then it takes him more than an hour for shower/brush teeth/get changed etc. He tells me that he is not a morning person, and he loves sleeping. He cannot handle 2 kids at same time.

Since the youngest one is 2 months old, I have been encouraging him to take care of his little girl. She is calm, sleeps all the time, really low maintenance. On weekend, after I feed & change the baby, I take the toddler boy outdoor for 2-4 hours. Most of the time, when I am back home, baby is still sleeping. I have not tried to take 2 kids out of the door by myself yet, afraid to screw up baby sleep pattern & afraid that the oldest acts out & runs away.

Seriously? Does he have some sort of severe mental or physical handicap that makes it literally impossible for him to take care of two kids at a time? We have twins so my husband has taken care of two kids at a time by himself since they were born since luckily I didn't marry someone who views himself as merely a sperm donor. Do you never leave your kids? I don't understand people who let their spouses act like that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Discuss a wake-up time if it’s that important to you. Otherwise I consider it fine to stay asleep until the sleeper-in wants to wake up. Isn’t that the point?

+1

Sleeping in is sleeping until you want to wake up. Either that will work for you or it won't. My husband could sleep later than me but I wouldn't fault him for that if we traded weekends.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:7:30 is sleeping in for us. No way I'd let my husband sleep in till 11 leaving me to attend to two young children solo.

The concept is that you get to do that too the next day though. I have an expectation that both I or my husband could handle both kids solo at any time if need be.

Personally a kid free morning to myself is 100% worth dealing with the kids solo for a morning.

It sounds like the first PP is a martyr and likes to make sure her husband is just as miserable as she is, so your idea of trading off wouldn't work in her world.