Consequences for not getting up on time for school

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Take him to visit a college. One that would be really appealing to him. Ask him if he wants to go to college. Explain that won’t happen if he isn’t mature enough to get himself up and to school on time.

or.. ask visit nearest McDoanlds and ask the manager to give him a tour of the kitchen where he if he gets lucky will find a job ?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It's not just staying home if they miss the bus, it is staying home with no screens (no phone, kindle, iPad computer, etc.). Firm and friendly: you have a choice to go to school or not, but you will make up the work and you will not be on screens during the school day and/or 9n screens other than to make up the work until the work is done (and enforce this, work must be done on a computer or laptop in a communal area, where you can walk by and see what's going on!

No anger, just you are in charge, it's your life and your choice.

Yep. I can totally quit my job and stay home to police my kid when he doesn't wnat to get out of bed. That makes way more sense than taking him to school and letting him get written up/detention when he is late.

[Anonymous]

We dealt with this this year. ADHD junior. Phone now charges in our bedroom at night. He only get it back for the next school day of he is ready to walk out the front door by 7:20 (he drives to school and I am not interested in him speeding to get there). Otherwise, it stay with us, and he can try again the next morning.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It takes me 30 minutes to drive to/from school. DD misses the bus, she owes me 30 minutes of work.

This is a great idea! Thanks pp!
-np

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We dealt with this this year. ADHD junior. Phone now charges in our bedroom at night. He only get it back for the next school day of he is ready to walk out the front door by 7:20 (he drives to school and I am not interested in him speeding to get there). Otherwise, it stay with us, and he can try again the next morning.

WINNER WINNER! This is a great idea! Most teens will do ANYTHING to have their phone with them. ANYTHING! Including getting up in the morning!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's not just staying home if they miss the bus, it is staying home with no screens (no phone, kindle, iPad computer, etc.). Firm and friendly: you have a choice to go to school or not, but you will make up the work and you will not be on screens during the school day and/or 9n screens other than to make up the work until the work is done (and enforce this, work must be done on a computer or laptop in a communal area, where you can walk by and see what's going on!

No anger, just you are in charge, it's your life and your choice.

Yep. I can totally quit my job and stay home to police my kid when he doesn't wnat to get out of bed. That makes way more sense than taking him to school and letting him get written up/detention when he is late.

You don't seem to actually want any suggestions. Just bitch and moan.

[Anonymous]

Let the school give consequences. After a few detentions, ask DC to explain to you what's going on. Keep asking questions to try to lead towards examining whether kid's choices make sense. End the conversation on an empowering note, but it should be clear that you won't care more than they do. If DC keeps being late, schedule a meeting with a school counselor to discuss what's happening, why, and the likely impacts, as well as considering solutions. Eventually, the kid will likely either see sense or get so tired of discussing it that going to school on time becomes the lesser of two inconveniences.

[Anonymous]

I'm not OP but this morning was ROUGH. I just ordered two more alarm clocks on amazon. We are going to try three alarm clocks at the same time and maybe bribery too.

[Anonymous]

Lose an hour of electronic time after school for every 15 minutes late for school.

[Anonymous]

My 15 yr old son is the same. I left for work a couple of times, and he just stayed home. Where I messed up is not having consequence for this. I'm a weak mom
I'm hoping he will out grow this.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:For my middle schooler last year, her therapist recommended that the consequence be "she doesn't go to school." (we live too far for her to walk if she misses the bus) Believe it or not, this worked. She took ownership of the whole enchilada, from setting her alarm to getting out the door in the am. We now stay in bed while she bustles around in the morning. No shouting out times, no threats, no nothing. Our mornings with our 7th grader are peaceful now.

This. I’m not on this earth to be a chauffeur. She takes the unexplained absence. If it causes long term damage to grades, so be it. Then community college is the result.

Tweens/teens need repercussions and consequences

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm not OP but this morning was ROUGH. I just ordered two more alarm clocks on amazon. We are going to try three alarm clocks at the same time and maybe bribery too.

There is something majorly wrong with your kid or your parenting if you need 3 alarm clocks to get them up. Jesus just buy a rooster.

[Anonymous]

Chores in the afternoon.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:For my middle schooler last year, her therapist recommended that the consequence be "she doesn't go to school." (we live too far for her to walk if she misses the bus) Believe it or not, this worked. She took ownership of the whole enchilada, from setting her alarm to getting out the door in the am. We now stay in bed while she bustles around in the morning. No shouting out times, no threats, no nothing. Our mornings with our 7th grader are peaceful now.

This. I’m not on this earth to be a chauffeur. She takes the unexplained absence. If it causes long term damage to grades, so be it. Then community college is the result.

Tweens/teens need repercussions and consequences

Um, colleges don't care about your middle school attendance record.

[Anonymous]

You don't need to stay home all day to police electronics. You can have a stated check-in policy that they all get charged in a central place in the house. Wake up before your kid, sweep them into your work bag, dispense as earned. Easier still, just unplug the modem on the way out the door and take that with you. Then learn how to suspend your child's phone, iPad whatever from your cellular plan. (There are ways. They've walked so many parents through it. You should probably learn before you need to do it next.)

Let school dispense consequences for missing school. You might communicate with them that you are working as a family to get your child there on time. However, you accept and welcome any detentions, late marks on work, etc. they may give him.

Make your child responsible for arranging or paying for transportation when he's late. He can walk, bike, pay for ride share, or reimburse for your mileage and time.

However late your child is getting out of bed in the morning, he could go to his room that much earlier the night before.

Definitely make sure that he has an alarm system that can't be ignored. There are alarms that shake the bed, alarms that crawl away from you, alarms that light up the room before making noise. Set multiple alarms. On a non-weekday, time how long his morning routine reasonably takes. Then set the alarms so that he has that much time plus 10 to 15 minutes more.

If you want to be encouraging, instead of just punitive, work together to make an appealing grab-and-go breakfast the night before. Ask if he needs help on the weekends getting clean clothes together for the week. Check in after dinner to see if you can assist with preparing food, sports clothing, etc. for the next day. Participate in a wind-down activity together before bed. Is there a book on tape you'd like to listen to together? Would he take an evening stroll with you or do some meditation?