Do you feel the number of children you have was a joint decision?
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Anonymous
| Yes definitely for us. One was a given. Two we were both sure. Third took a lot of soul searching and talking but when we decided we decided together |
Anonymous
| Yes, having two was a joint decision for us. Luckily we were both exactly on the same page about wanting the second, and about the window in which we would try (no babies after 40 for me) and what we were not willing to do (no IVF or ART for us). I also had pregnancy complications and a preemie, and while I sometimes daydream of a third, we were both relieved to close that window for good. |
Anonymous
This was me. Husband decided he wanted a second too. Now nearing 37 weeks, having turned 40 during this pregnancy. Had he taken any longer to decide, I'm not sure we would have pulled it off. |
Anonymous
| Not yet. I really want another child; he’s still undecided but leans no (we’ve been discussing for years). So, at this point, one of us will “lose.” One person will get what s/he wants, and the other will not. I’m not sure how it’s possible to “compromise” on something like this. |
Anonymous
| My exH effectively decided the number because he ran out the clock until a health issue closed the door. #2 almost didn’t happen. If I’d miscarried her, there would not have been any other kids. |
Anonymous
| Together. Of course, as the “carrier” my day is the final say. We have 3. I want to adopt 1 more, and mentioned it to DH. He said yes. |
Anonymous
| I knew I wanted at least 2, but thought only 2 as well. DH is one of 4 close-in-age brothers, so I knew he probably wanted more ideally. #1 took 3 years to have, so we rushed to start trying for #2 figuring it would take equally long/the decision to have 2 (at most) had really been settled for us. Got pregnant with #2 really quickly. When he was just over a year, DH made the pitch for 3. I agreed to try, but said no extraordinary measures (which we’d needed for 1 but not 2). Got pregnant immediately. Now have 3 all 2 years apart. Both work FT+. We are definitely done. |
Anonymous
| Definitely. I did not want kids, and did not want to marry someone for whom this would be an issue. Talked about it when we started dating - DH was firm on this as well. |
Anonymous
How long did he take to decide? |
Anonymous
| Yes, we both wanted two and ended up with two. Neither of us has ever wanted another, although before they were born we did discuss not having kids as well, if it didn't work out. |
Anonymous
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I wanted oodles, wife said she was willing to have three. (I suspect she would've been happy enough with two.)
Baby number three was so cute and adorable that he was able to help me talk her into one more child, at which point she was done. She did say that this was mainly because the last three were C-sections; if she'd been able to give birth naturally she would've had more. |
Anonymous
This is us too. No decision has been made yet, and we've been in this place (me wanting a second, but only if DH wants a second too) for about a year and a half. DD is now 3.5. I still don't know where we'll end up. We decided to give ourselves til the end of this year to decide. We came to a point a few months ago where we made this deal: DH is going to spend the summer soul searching and thinking about what he really wants; I'm going to spend some time figuring out how I'd feel about being one and done; and we're not going to talk about it for a few months to give ourselves the space to think it through. In the meantime, I keep taking my birth control 
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Anonymous
| Yes. We each wanted one more but decided to stop because of some serious health risks. We both think it was the right decision. |
Anonymous
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No definitely not.
We have three kids and I'd love to have a fourth but DH doesn't. And his position is just like, "No I'm not having another kid." It's frustrating for me. |
Anonymous
| The universe decided for us. |