Fighting with husband till 5 am

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How old are you and your husband? What were you fighting about? Why did you stay in the fight and not called it a night at 12:00 am or earlier?

He’s 63 and I’m 61.

You both need to grow up.

Perhaps it’s early dementia?

That is ageism!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Do you have kids? You are obviously both toxic if the fighting went until 5am. Therapy or divorce. If no kids involved I vote just divorce. Then therapy to work on yourself.

No kids. Married 5 years.

Husband has been having panic attacks for the past two months. During this time he has been been increasingly short with me and take out his frustrations in me. I get sad and say it’s been awful for me. He blows up and plays victim and how he will kill himself.

You have to be a troll. You can’t be this insensitive. You’re complaining to him about his Panic Disorder? Well, that answers a lot. I’m guessing you’re his trigger. And the reason for arguments dragging out, and no he shouldn’t apologize for hurting your feelings. You seem insensitive and need to practice whAt you preach.

Yeah I have no sympathy for OP. Op should be creating a safe space for DH during his panic attacks. Instead she's just causing them to ramp up. And obviously she is so selfish that she doesn't see she should apologize too. You both need therapy.

And no, I don't think OP is a troll. I bet OP is the type that posts on here where guys are always bad and women only react badly because of what men do or don't do. I know someone like her in real life. She's toxic.

What? That’s a crazy take.

No one wants to be married to someone who has panic attacks and threatens to kill self. Very manipulative.
I would get out ASAP, OP.
Good luck.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Do you have kids? You are obviously both toxic if the fighting went until 5am. Therapy or divorce. If no kids involved I vote just divorce. Then therapy to work on yourself.

No kids. Married 5 years.

Husband has been having panic attacks for the past two months. During this time he has been been increasingly short with me and take out his frustrations in me. I get sad and say it’s been awful for me. He blows up and plays victim and how he will kill himself.

You have to be a troll. You can’t be this insensitive. You’re complaining to him about his Panic Disorder? Well, that answers a lot. I’m guessing you’re his trigger. And the reason for arguments dragging out, and no he shouldn’t apologize for hurting your feelings. You seem insensitive and need to practice whAt you preach.

Yeah I have no sympathy for OP. Op should be creating a safe space for DH during his panic attacks. Instead she's just causing them to ramp up. And obviously she is so selfish that she doesn't see she should apologize too. You both need therapy.

And no, I don't think OP is a troll. I bet OP is the type that posts on here where guys are always bad and women only react badly because of what men do or don't do. I know someone like her in real life. She's toxic.

What? That’s a crazy take.

No one wants to be married to someone who has panic attacks and threatens to kill self. Very manipulative.
I would get out ASAP, OP.
Good luck.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Do you have kids? You are obviously both toxic if the fighting went until 5am. Therapy or divorce. If no kids involved I vote just divorce. Then therapy to work on yourself.

No kids. Married 5 years.

Husband has been having panic attacks for the past two months. During this time he has been been increasingly short with me and take out his frustrations in me. I get sad and say it’s been awful for me. He blows up and plays victim and how he will kill himself.

You have to be a troll. You can’t be this insensitive. You’re complaining to him about his Panic Disorder? Well, that answers a lot. I’m guessing you’re his trigger. And the reason for arguments dragging out, and no he shouldn’t apologize for hurting your feelings. You seem insensitive and need to practice whAt you preach.

Yeah I have no sympathy for OP. Op should be creating a safe space for DH during his panic attacks. Instead she's just causing them to ramp up. And obviously she is so selfish that she doesn't see she should apologize too. You both need therapy.

And no, I don't think OP is a troll. I bet OP is the type that posts on here where guys are always bad and women only react badly because of what men do or don't do. I know someone like her in real life. She's toxic.

What? That’s a crazy take.

No one wants to be married to someone who has panic attacks and threatens to kill self. Very manipulative.
I would get out ASAP, OP.
Good luck.

NP but get out? Already? He's been dealing with panic attacks for only two months! He needs medical treatment, support and patience.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How old are you and your husband? What were you fighting about? Why did you stay in the fight and not called it a night at 12:00 am or earlier?

He’s 63 and I’m 61.

WTAF?? I am just a few years younger and I truly can't imagine fighting about anything, particularly Ubers, all night. How can that conversation even go beyond 5 minutes? Do you or he have substance abuse problems? Because this is just not normal behavior for mature adults.

It's because OP has no clue how to deal with a panic disorder. She fights him because she thinks his opinion is wrong. Except when you have anxiety, that doesn't work. So her reaction spiraled him into a panic attack, which caused even more fighting. All this would have been avoided if OP didn't have this toxic need for her opinion to be right and valid on such a silly topic. The whole thing would have been avoided if OP had just said" yes, I can see how it could be unsafe" and then later vented to her friend about her DHs anxiety about it.

except Ubers are not unsafe.

I agree. But when someone has a panic disorder and anxiety and you're discussing such a small think like Ubers, it's best just to inwardly roll your eyes and move on. There is no need.to win every disagreement or to always be right.

[Anonymous]

OP, you need to approach his "opinions" as, "is it reasonable that someone would think this? Someone somewhere. Is this an opinion that someone somewhere might have? Not important that it's your husband. He is an individual. He is permitted his opinions regardless of how *wrong* you think they are. YOU ARE NOT THE BOSS OF HIM

[Anonymous]

OP, you are to blame. What a ridiculous thing to argue about all night. Your DH was having a panic attack. Just agree with him, calm him and go to bed. Please help him seek support because he needs it and you need to be his safe place.

[Anonymous]

You don't have to do the same things, Op.

[Anonymous]

I remind myself in useless disagreements....do I want to be right or happy. I’d have shut that discussion down in 10 seconds by just accepting his opinion, which he is entitled to, and moving on.

[Anonymous]

You fought until 5 am over whether to use Ubers, and you are 60+ years old????

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You fought until 5 am over whether to use Ubers, and you are 60+ years old????

not only fought, but he threatened suicide over it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You fought until 5 am over whether to use Ubers, and you are 60+ years old????

not only fought, but he threatened suicide over it.

Serious question, is your husband taking medication? My husband was prescribed two different medications recently and the interaction caused anxiety and panic attacks. Fortunately we figured out that it was medically induced and we spoke with his doctor who advised he stop taking one of the pills. After about four days the chemicals left his body and he was back to his normal self. But the anxiety and panic attacks were real.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How old are you and your husband? What were you fighting about? Why did you stay in the fight and not called it a night at 12:00 am or earlier?

He’s 63 and I’m 61.

Is this a joke? How have you made it 60+ years behaving this way?

[Anonymous]

Wish I could come home from workin'
And not have her checking my breath
I'm tired of her turning her questions
Into the Gettysburg Address

Chris Stapleton

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Do you have kids? You are obviously both toxic if the fighting went until 5am. Therapy or divorce. If no kids involved I vote just divorce. Then therapy to work on yourself.

No kids. Married 5 years.

Husband has been having panic attacks for the past two months. During this time he has been been increasingly short with me and take out his frustrations in me. I get sad and say it’s been awful for me. He blows up and plays victim and how he will kill himself.

He needs to see a doctor. Changes in personality this abrupt can be signs of a CNS tumor, or dementia. Ruling that out would be a good place to start.