Being kind is more important than being right?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I agree with you, OP. What a lack of nuance. Would have irritated me, too. Especially in a middle school context where often times kids will choose going with the flow/not standing out instead of considering what is right.

Btw, I don't remember how this relates to Wonder (Auggie was quite kind, others were unkind to him?), but I do have a special needs child. Still feel this way.

But often the right thing to do is to be kind. And MS students are very likely to stand back and let the unkind thing happen or be said and not stand up for what is right.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I agree with you, OP. What a lack of nuance. Would have irritated me, too. Especially in a middle school context where often times kids will choose going with the flow/not standing out instead of considering what is right.

Btw, I don't remember how this relates to Wonder (Auggie was quite kind, others were unkind to him?), but I do have a special needs child. Still feel this way.

But often the right thing to do is to be kind. And MS students are very likely to stand back and let the unkind thing happen or be said and not stand up for what is right.

Yes, but in your example, being kind is not at odds with being right. So the poster doesn't speak your point.

[Anonymous]

Being kind is always right! I think it's pretty simple OP.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Being kind is always right! I think it's pretty simple OP.

+1

OP< I don't want to say that you are not that smart, such that being right is a non issue, but......

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Being kind is always right! I think it's pretty simple OP.

+1

OP< I don't want to say that you are not that smart, such that being right is a non issue, but......

OP here, I disagree that being kind is always right. Even the quote in the poster doesn't go this far as it clearly contrasts being kind from being right, because sometimes you have to choose one or the other. If being kind is always right, then there wouldn't be a need for this contrasting choice.

BTW, you can say whatever you want about my intelligence, I just find it ironic that you would miss the point about being kind while you are doing it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:But OP, the poster does come with context. It's just that you missed it.

The phrase (and the poster font, too) is a reference to the fiction book read by many elementary students, Wonder by R.J. Palacio. You should read it - it's a quick and easy read.

Thank you. I'm kind of shocked at how many parents are posters on the thread don't get this

Ironically, it seems they are choosing to be neither kind nor right....

OP here. Thanks for pointing this out. I did not reply to the first poster who posted this theory because I didn't want to go down this tangent. But since others have seen fit to pile on...

One of the things I did after seeing this poster is to Google the phrase, since it seems to be one of those motivational quotes, although it is not attributed at all on the poster, which shows a lack of integrity on the part of the poster maker, but that's not really important in our present context. Here's an image of the poster I found online:



One of the first results that popped up is a quote from F. Scott Fitzgerald, who said "To be kind is more important than to be right. Many times, what people need is not a brilliant mind that speaks but a special heart that listens." Note that this whole quote provides important additional context in the second sentence, which I agree with.

Digging more deeply, I found that the exact direct quote of "being kind is more important than being right" is attributed to Andy Rooney of 60 minutes fame. However, this quote being attributed to him has been found to be the work of one of those "forward this email to your friends/family" campaigns:

https://www.snopes.com/fact-check/what-ive-learned/

Therefore, it was not really an Andy Rooney quote, but a false attribution.

Now, I do agree that there is a strong parallel with the message of this quote with the kindness message in the book Wonder, but it's clear to me that this poster is not a quote or reference to wonder. Maybe the teacher who put the poster up thought it was a good reference so I'll give the benefit of the doubt here.

The history of the quote is irrelevant. OF COURSE this is directly from Wonder, at least in the kids' world and context. Most of them have read the book by middle school and are familiar with the quote and context.

I just asked my 11 year old if he was familiar with the quote and he was like, " that's from Wonder."

So you are getting pedantic and espousing a rather angry faux philosophy over nothing. Esp without knowing how it is as discussed or handled at school.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I agree with you, OP. What a lack of nuance. Would have irritated me, too. Especially in a middle school context where often times kids will choose going with the flow/not standing out instead of considering what is right.

Btw, I don't remember how this relates to Wonder (Auggie was quite kind, others were unkind to him?), but I do have a special needs child. Still feel this way.

But often the right thing to do is to be kind. And MS students are very likely to stand back and let the unkind thing happen or be said and not stand up for what is right.

Yes, but in your example, being kind is not at odds with being right. So the poster doesn't speak your point.

But the unkind thing might be right. A kid might pick on another for getting the lowest grade or scoring an own goal or having bad acne or whatever the mean MS kids like to say. These may be accurate - right - but unkind. Being unkind is wrong, of course, but the kid being unkind can say “well, he did get the lowest grade.”

[Anonymous]

You can always choose to be kind even if you are right.

PP, someone might have acne, someone might have received the lowest grade but a kind person would not point that out without being KIND and offering advice.

"Larla, I know you got the lowest grade on the test since all of the grades were posted. I would be happy to help you study for the next test if you think it would be helpful."

Like that.

Maybe the poster was with respect to anti-bullying?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Being kind is always right! I think it's pretty simple OP.

+1

OP< I don't want to say that you are not that smart, such that being right is a non issue, but......

OP here, I disagree that being kind is always right. Even the quote in the poster doesn't go this far as it clearly contrasts being kind from being right, because sometimes you have to choose one or the other. If being kind is always right, then there wouldn't be a need for this contrasting choice.

BTW, you can say whatever you want about my intelligence, I just find it ironic that you would miss the point about being kind while you are doing it.

DP. This was a kind way of saying....it funny actually.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:But OP, the poster does come with context. It's just that you missed it.

The phrase (and the poster font, too) is a reference to the fiction book read by many elementary students, Wonder by R.J. Palacio. You should read it - it's a quick and easy read.

Thank you. I'm kind of shocked at how many parents are posters on the thread don't get this

Ironically, it seems they are choosing to be neither kind nor right....

OP here. Thanks for pointing this out. I did not reply to the first poster who posted this theory because I didn't want to go down this tangent. But since others have seen fit to pile on...

One of the things I did after seeing this poster is to Google the phrase, since it seems to be one of those motivational quotes, although it is not attributed at all on the poster, which shows a lack of integrity on the part of the poster maker, but that's not really important in our present context. Here's an image of the poster I found online:



One of the first results that popped up is a quote from F. Scott Fitzgerald, who said "To be kind is more important than to be right. Many times, what people need is not a brilliant mind that speaks but a special heart that listens." Note that this whole quote provides important additional context in the second sentence, which I agree with.

Digging more deeply, I found that the exact direct quote of "being kind is more important than being right" is attributed to Andy Rooney of 60 minutes fame. However, this quote being attributed to him has been found to be the work of one of those "forward this email to your friends/family" campaigns:

https://www.snopes.com/fact-check/what-ive-learned/

Therefore, it was not really an Andy Rooney quote, but a false attribution.

Now, I do agree that there is a strong parallel with the message of this quote with the kindness message in the book Wonder, but it's clear to me that this poster is not a quote or reference to wonder. Maybe the teacher who put the poster up thought it was a good reference so I'll give the benefit of the doubt here.

The history of the quote is irrelevant. OF COURSE this is directly from Wonder, at least in the kids' world and context. Most of them have read the book by middle school and are familiar with the quote and context.

I just asked my 11 year old if he was familiar with the quote and he was like, " that's from Wonder."

So you are getting pedantic and espousing a rather angry faux philosophy over nothing. Esp without knowing how it is as discussed or handled at school.

OP here. I don't understand why you are saying that I'm angry. I am just quoting some facts I found after doing some research into the history of the quote. History of quotable quotes is extremely important in establish context of meaning. Is quoting of facts or being factual viewed as angry now days? If so that would certainly explain the attitude of viewing kindness as being more important than being right.

No one is advocating to be unkind, just that being kind isn't always more important than being right.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Saw this poster on a door at Cooper Middle School in McLean, VA. I did a double take but the more I thought about it, the more irritated I became that this irrational hogwash is being taught to kids without mitigating context.

Yes, *SOMETIMES* it is more important to be kind than to be right. I can think of numerous scenarios where I would teach my kids to keep their thoughts to themselves because it's the right thing to do given the situation.

The issue I have with this poster is that it doesn't make this clarification and therefore is plainly wrong. I find it ironic that it is posted in a school, where we teach our kids to learn facts and reasoning first and foremost. I'm tempted to ask the teacher whether he/she gives all students an A since that's the kind thing to do.

What do other parents think, is being kind more important than being right, always?

Get a life

[Anonymous]

I think what's important here is understanding why this made you so angry.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think what's important here is understanding why this made you so angry.

OP here, not angry, just irritated. The reason is that this idea that kindness is always more important than being right is at odds with what we teach our kids. It's also at odds with reality. Truth be told, this is probably not the worst effort at teaching that has occurred in a school, just one I happen to notice since it's a large colorful poster on a door.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Saw this poster on a door at Cooper Middle School in McLean, VA. I did a double take but the more I thought about it, the more irritated I became that this irrational hogwash is being taught to kids without mitigating context.

Yes, *SOMETIMES* it is more important to be kind than to be right. I can think of numerous scenarios where I would teach my kids to keep their thoughts to themselves because it's the right thing to do given the situation.

The issue I have with this poster is that it doesn't make this clarification and therefore is plainly wrong. I find it ironic that it is posted in a school, where we teach our kids to learn facts and reasoning first and foremost. I'm tempted to ask the teacher whether he/she gives all students an A since that's the kind thing to do.

What do other parents think, is being kind more important than being right, always?

Get a life

OP here. Guess you don't agree with the sentiment of the poster either, eh?

[Anonymous]

I think the phrase is:

Being kind is more important then being funny.

So that means don’t make a joke if it will hurt someone or embarrass them.