Being a teen class clown is getting very dangerous in school

[Anonymous]

I'm in the camp that believes that OP is minimizing and justifying her son's behavior. Nothing good is going to come of that. I think it's a hard road, but better that OP face up to the fact that his behavior is seriously inappropriate and that her son get consequences in school than he grow up thinking he s just funny and people don't get his humor.

[Anonymous]

So your son is embarrassing and harassing young women about thier periods in class, in public, and you are defending/excusing his behavior? He needs to have some real consequences -there is no way young women should be subjected to this demeaning behavior. Doesn’t sound like you are taking this seriously - this is bullying, sexually inappropriate behavior, not “class clown” stuff. If he can’t control himself then he needs to be removed from the classroom setting as the female students have every right to be educated without this harassment.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My suggestion is to meet with the school counselor and work together on this. If he is impulsive, it is very hard for something you say at home to stick with him at school. And contrary to what a PP said, it actually is somewhat typical for ADHD kids to make inappropriate comments -- they don't filter the way other kids do. Often, they are 2-3 years behind their peers socially and they are looking for attention; when kids laugh, they view that as positive attention, so they continue the behaviors. You really need to work with the school, his therapist, and doctor to help with that.

Is he on medication for his ADHD? If not, it may be time to pursue that option. If he is on medication, you should consider whether it should be adjusted.

I completely understand the desire to punish the behavior, and you certainly can do so, but it likely won't make your son any better at filtering/thinking before he speaks. Essentially, you punish to make yourself feel like you are doing something and to be able to tell others that you are doing something, but punishing your son isn't going to fix this problem.

OP, above is the post you need to read. This is a high-risk time period for kids with certain special needs, and if handled poorly can result in cumulative disasters up to and including no high school diploma and juvenile justice involvement. But his disability issues also have to be considered--not meaning he gets to do whatever, but that the approach to such behavior is individualized. Social skills training that includes school/society's rules about serious issues.

OP I agree. We've been in your shoes. It is very challenging to raise such kids in today's environment of hyper-PC-ness. PP gives some good advice.

Dp. You would feel differenly if you were the parent of the girl
Honestly, ypu are ok with what the ops son said to the girl?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Having ADHD and executive function difficulties does not make someone a bully unless there are problems at home.

You don't know what you're talking about.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My suggestion is to meet with the school counselor and work together on this. If he is impulsive, it is very hard for something you say at home to stick with him at school. And contrary to what a PP said, it actually is somewhat typical for ADHD kids to make inappropriate comments -- they don't filter the way other kids do. Often, they are 2-3 years behind their peers socially and they are looking for attention; when kids laugh, they view that as positive attention, so they continue the behaviors. You really need to work with the school, his therapist, and doctor to help with that.

Is he on medication for his ADHD? If not, it may be time to pursue that option. If he is on medication, you should consider whether it should be adjusted.

I completely understand the desire to punish the behavior, and you certainly can do so, but it likely won't make your son any better at filtering/thinking before he speaks. Essentially, you punish to make yourself feel like you are doing something and to be able to tell others that you are doing something, but punishing your son isn't going to fix this problem.

OP, above is the post you need to read. This is a high-risk time period for kids with certain special needs, and if handled poorly can result in cumulative disasters up to and including no high school diploma and juvenile justice involvement. But his disability issues also have to be considered--not meaning he gets to do whatever, but that the approach to such behavior is individualized. Social skills training that includes school/society's rules about serious issues.

OP I agree. We've been in your shoes. It is very challenging to raise such kids in today's environment of hyper-PC-ness. PP gives some good advice.

You think it’s “PC” to say that boys shouldn’t shame girls for having their periods?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My suggestion is to meet with the school counselor and work together on this. If he is impulsive, it is very hard for something you say at home to stick with him at school. And contrary to what a PP said, it actually is somewhat typical for ADHD kids to make inappropriate comments -- they don't filter the way other kids do. Often, they are 2-3 years behind their peers socially and they are looking for attention; when kids laugh, they view that as positive attention, so they continue the behaviors. You really need to work with the school, his therapist, and doctor to help with that.

Is he on medication for his ADHD? If not, it may be time to pursue that option. If he is on medication, you should consider whether it should be adjusted.

I completely understand the desire to punish the behavior, and you certainly can do so, but it likely won't make your son any better at filtering/thinking before he speaks. Essentially, you punish to make yourself feel like you are doing something and to be able to tell others that you are doing something, but punishing your son isn't going to fix this problem.

OP, above is the post you need to read. This is a high-risk time period for kids with certain special needs, and if handled poorly can result in cumulative disasters up to and including no high school diploma and juvenile justice involvement. But his disability issues also have to be considered--not meaning he gets to do whatever, but that the approach to such behavior is individualized. Social skills training that includes school/society's rules about serious issues.

OP I agree. We've been in your shoes. It is very challenging to raise such kids in today's environment of hyper-PC-ness. PP gives some good advice.

It’s never been remotely acceptable to bully a girl because she has her period. I agree that things are pretty crazy these days, but you can’t blame this situation on “today’s environment”.

Only in today's environment would one mean comment be treated as bullying.

Bullying at times has improperly been ignored, but we've now gone way overboard in terms of what is labeled bullying.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My suggestion is to meet with the school counselor and work together on this. If he is impulsive, it is very hard for something you say at home to stick with him at school. And contrary to what a PP said, it actually is somewhat typical for ADHD kids to make inappropriate comments -- they don't filter the way other kids do. Often, they are 2-3 years behind their peers socially and they are looking for attention; when kids laugh, they view that as positive attention, so they continue the behaviors. You really need to work with the school, his therapist, and doctor to help with that.

Is he on medication for his ADHD? If not, it may be time to pursue that option. If he is on medication, you should consider whether it should be adjusted.

I completely understand the desire to punish the behavior, and you certainly can do so, but it likely won't make your son any better at filtering/thinking before he speaks. Essentially, you punish to make yourself feel like you are doing something and to be able to tell others that you are doing something, but punishing your son isn't going to fix this problem.

OP, above is the post you need to read. This is a high-risk time period for kids with certain special needs, and if handled poorly can result in cumulative disasters up to and including no high school diploma and juvenile justice involvement. But his disability issues also have to be considered--not meaning he gets to do whatever, but that the approach to such behavior is individualized. Social skills training that includes school/society's rules about serious issues.

OP I agree. We've been in your shoes. It is very challenging to raise such kids in today's environment of hyper-PC-ness. PP gives some good advice.

Dp. You would feel differenly if you were the parent of the girl
Honestly, ypu are ok with what the ops son said to the girl?

Of course not. But what should be the consequence?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My suggestion is to meet with the school counselor and work together on this. If he is impulsive, it is very hard for something you say at home to stick with him at school. And contrary to what a PP said, it actually is somewhat typical for ADHD kids to make inappropriate comments -- they don't filter the way other kids do. Often, they are 2-3 years behind their peers socially and they are looking for attention; when kids laugh, they view that as positive attention, so they continue the behaviors. You really need to work with the school, his therapist, and doctor to help with that.

Is he on medication for his ADHD? If not, it may be time to pursue that option. If he is on medication, you should consider whether it should be adjusted.

I completely understand the desire to punish the behavior, and you certainly can do so, but it likely won't make your son any better at filtering/thinking before he speaks. Essentially, you punish to make yourself feel like you are doing something and to be able to tell others that you are doing something, but punishing your son isn't going to fix this problem.

Agree that this is the poster with the solid advice here.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My suggestion is to meet with the school counselor and work together on this. If he is impulsive, it is very hard for something you say at home to stick with him at school. And contrary to what a PP said, it actually is somewhat typical for ADHD kids to make inappropriate comments -- they don't filter the way other kids do. Often, they are 2-3 years behind their peers socially and they are looking for attention; when kids laugh, they view that as positive attention, so they continue the behaviors. You really need to work with the school, his therapist, and doctor to help with that.

Is he on medication for his ADHD? If not, it may be time to pursue that option. If he is on medication, you should consider whether it should be adjusted.

I completely understand the desire to punish the behavior, and you certainly can do so, but it likely won't make your son any better at filtering/thinking before he speaks. Essentially, you punish to make yourself feel like you are doing something and to be able to tell others that you are doing something, but punishing your son isn't going to fix this problem.

OP, above is the post you need to read. This is a high-risk time period for kids with certain special needs, and if handled poorly can result in cumulative disasters up to and including no high school diploma and juvenile justice involvement. But his disability issues also have to be considered--not meaning he gets to do whatever, but that the approach to such behavior is individualized. Social skills training that includes school/society's rules about serious issues.

OP I agree. We've been in your shoes. It is very challenging to raise such kids in today's environment of hyper-PC-ness. PP gives some good advice.

It’s never been remotely acceptable to bully a girl because she has her period. I agree that things are pretty crazy these days, but you can’t blame this situation on “today’s environment”.

Only in today's environment would one mean comment be treated as bullying.

Bullying at times has improperly been ignored, but we've now gone way overboard in terms of what is labeled bullying.

OP says this is an issue that has happened repeatedly. She uses that word in her first post. Repetition is a large part of what makes it bullying.

As someone who labeled it bullying, I wouldn't have used that word if she had said that the issues were repeated.

[Anonymous]

OP, you are minimizing his disruptive and offensive behavior. Students and teachers deserve to feel safe and it sounds as if your child is preventing that. It’s also really alarming that you seem to think the teacher has some blame in this. She’s certainly not making your child say these things and kudos to her for protecting the other students. I would be furious is my daughter was humiliated in this way.

You may think you’re protecting your son by making excuses for his behavior, but on the contrary, you are causing him great harm. All kids need consequences. Make him feel the impact of his actions by taking away whatever he values. I’m sure it’s technology.

You should be terrified that he apparently lacks empathy. The behaviors you describe are more than ADHD. You better get on the same page as the school or you’ll be very sorry when his behaviors become truly criminal.

Stop minimizing and blaming! That’s negatively contributing to his behaviors.

[Anonymous]

“The public schools are becoming a very dangerous place to be if you have loose lips.” OP - It’s your DC that’s making the public school system a dangerous place to be. I’m sorry that I don’t have any suggestions but I think it would be best for you to get help for yourself so that you can gain the skills you need to help him.

[Anonymous]

Oh man. My kind, caring, compassionate, affable, and (Jewish) high school freshman thought his Hitler joke was HILARIOUS.

Needless to say, his classmates, teacher, and principal did not agree.

SMH

OP, I believe you, and I feel your worry and concern: The impulsivity is real, the dopamine-rush is real, and stimulation seekers are particularly susceptible to risk-taking and rule-breaking because they are wired that way. Teens are dumb and impulsive anyway, rebellious anyway, and ADHD teens can really be special snowflakes. The struggle is real, and so is the fear. One momentary dopamine rush can have life-altering consequences.

We're starting medication precisely in order to help get his system on a more even keel. As for therapy, I wonder if there is a cognitive-behavioral approach that would help these live-wired kids notice their impulses and react more quickly. I wouldn't focus on feelings; I would focus on techniques. Find a new therapist.

What does your teen have to say? You said he doesn't seem to be able to reign it in: Does he want to?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Please make certain you are not sending your son mixed messages about this behavior. You say the teacher is making harassment claims against him. He is the one harassing. Please don't see this as something that is being done to him. It is his behavior that needs to be addressed.

This. OP sounds like a clueless enabler.

[Anonymous]

And ignore all of these silly posts accusing you of being the problem, OP. You said clown! How dare you!

These same posters would tell you that your kid would do better on tests if you had better discipline at home and imposed more consequences. He'd pay more attention if you stopped letting him watch tv or play video games or eat sugar or commit whatever cardinal mommy sin you committed today.

OP never suggested that her son shouldn't have to control herself or that the school shouldn't be making its best efforts to create a safe and secure learning environment for all students. Instead she said she wanted to teach him "self-control and restraint effectively and quickly." So -- Any suggestions, folks?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Please make certain you are not sending your son mixed messages about this behavior. You say the teacher is making harassment claims against him. He is the one harassing. Please don't see this as something that is being done to him. It is his behavior that needs to be addressed.

This. OP sounds like a clueless enabler.

Agree. He’s not a class clown, he is an immature brat.

Would love to see OPs post when some kid gives him a taste of his own Medicine by mocking his “adhd” disability <insert eye roll> with some ‘joking around’ about him being mentally challenged, or retarded or something. Why not, it’s just joking?!