Pretty women can be hard to befriend

[Anonymous]

I was a pretty girl and a model in my pre teens. I always felt like I had to be twice as nice, since I cared how people perceived me and wanted to be a good and kind person, too. Almost by default, unfeminine or overweight girls were nasty to me; something that continued at school by certain teachers and later on in professional setting. It's almost like they were trying to prove that I had to be either full of myself or less intelligent.

I realized with age that I don't have to be liked by everyone. I have a nice circle of friends, mostly good looking, but we became close because of our similarities, and our looks take insignificant part in that.

[Anonymous]

I have had plenty of beautiful friends; not a one was superficial or selected friends based on looks or social class. I can’t even imagine it. The women PPs describe sound like characters from a movie.

[Anonymous]

You all have a low bar for being nice. Everyone is nice to their friends

[Anonymous]

I have lived in 3 countries and 5 states. I say this because I think where you live matters. Pretty women in NYC are a lot more likely to be awful than pretty women in Indiana who may very well be genuine and kind.

I also think a lot of it has to do with if you have a caring family. If you grew up with people who were accepting and loving and not status hungry critical monsters, you are more likely to be by default genuine and kind towards others.

[Anonymous]

This is why god invented sororities.

[Anonymous]

Where pretty girls don’t have to worry about the hang ups of ugly girls.

[Anonymous]

My sister is a pretty woman. The kind of pretty that makes people stop and stare. She also has ADHD, Asperger's, and anxiety. So she experienced the world differently than I do. Socializing is hard for her and it's made that much harder by piggish men who think they are entitled to her attention and jealous women like you.

[Anonymous]

I'm conventionally pretty. So is my best friend. She just happens to be 6-8 sizes bigger than I am. We were adults, at these disparate sizes when we met. I'm glad she didn't feel the way you do about prettiness, about size. I don't know what my life would be like without her. Except worse.

[Anonymous]

I've never been pretty. I've had a lot of gorgeous friends - including my best friend who I met at a camp the summer before our senior year in high school. We roomed together in college and it was there that I first saw how beautiful girls/women are treated. Many women hated her on site and many men were intimidated by her looks. Like some PPs, she was a bit shy, sensitive to the dislike she felt from other women and uncomfortable with the attention she was getting from men. We've been friends for over 35 years and she is still stunning in her 50s.

My experience is that immaturity and personality are not derived from beauty or lack thereof. Countenance has nothing to do with the quality of the friend.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:As someone who's often called pretty, and who makes and sustains solid friendships fairly easily, I'll say this: if you make assumptions about people based on purely on how they look, you are going to struggle with relationships. That's on you, not them. I like people who are kind and down to earth and funny and all that good stuff. If people are unkind or snobby or selfish, I don't engage with them. Their looks don't factor in.

I was not always pretty, and was bullied pretty horribly when I was much younger. Maybe that's taught me empathy, or not to judge a book by it's cover, but anytime someone avoids an entire group of people based on nothing related to character, that's a major problem.

This. I find that people approach me expecting me to be a jerk or arrogant. It's like they are mean to me b/c their expectations of me are horrible before I even open my mouth. It drives me crazy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:As someone who's often called pretty, and who makes and sustains solid friendships fairly easily, I'll say this: if you make assumptions about people based on purely on how they look, you are going to struggle with relationships. That's on you, not them. I like people who are kind and down to earth and funny and all that good stuff. If people are unkind or snobby or selfish, I don't engage with them. Their looks don't factor in.

I was not always pretty, and was bullied pretty horribly when I was much younger. Maybe that's taught me empathy, or not to judge a book by it's cover, but anytime someone avoids an entire group of people based on nothing related to character, that's a major problem.

+1 this. Although i think I also fall into this category (was invisible to guys until late teens, then became attractive enough to get lots of compliments/modeling agent interest/attention from men), and i have to say, I think having the experience of not being as attractive makes now-attractive people more down to earth than women who were always that way.